12:30 AM
12:30Am
Time to sleep 12:30am. Shouldn’t be hard, it isn’t usually just shut my eyes and the next thing I know its morning.
1:10Am. Urgh! Why can’t I sleep? I have to get up in the morning and everything! My mind just won’t empty, I’m tired of that thoughts continuously running around my mind, and I’m fed up of it. Okay I’m fed up in general, I’ll never be good enough and I know that, but usually I can just hide it all behind a smile. It’s since I broke up with Georgia, she’s doing my head in, saying stuff about us, about what happened why can’t see just leave it? It was only three weeks and I didn’t even sleep with her!
URGH!
Why couldn’t it be like it is for Rhys and Zoe? Oh so wonderful for them, I’m convinced they’re in love by now, hell if they miss a day with each other it’s like a bit of them is missing. I want that. Wait I need that. Some people get all the luck and then some people get bad luck and I’m just me, no good, no bad, and just boring.
1:35Am. Repetitive, that’s all it is really, nothing, changes and nothing ever will. I can’t even think of anything to change, nothing happens around here, there’s nothing to do and nowhere to go or at least no way of getting there. Urgh the only decent thing in my life is gigs and five people I couldn’t live without, but whatever. They all seem happy at the moment; I wouldn’t take their happiness so that I can join them.
2:08Am. Pills! I need pills! Last time this happened to me, I was thinking about how amazing Georgia was before I asked her out and look where that got me. A public relationship and an even more public breakup and I’m not even a well known person, well except for hanging around with what could only be described as the rejects. I want to go to sleep! Tomorrow is going to be torture if I don’t and I’ll just piss everyone off with the bad mood I’m in. Why is the world so cruel?
2:52Am. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Why do I have to be in my mind so much, if I was a stupid fuck then I wouldn’t have this problem, oh how amazing it would be to be a complete idiot, stupid thinking mind. I need to get out of it, that’s what Rhys has told me on more than one occasion, but I can’t. Give me a few weeks and I’ll be absolutely fine. Hopefully.
3:07Am. That is it I am emptying my mind; no more thoughts will pass through it as of now.
...
...
...
That’s harder said than done.
7:01Am “OI! Gavin get up! You’ll be late otherwise!”
Great just great.
1:10Am. Urgh! Why can’t I sleep? I have to get up in the morning and everything! My mind just won’t empty, I’m tired of that thoughts continuously running around my mind, and I’m fed up of it. Okay I’m fed up in general, I’ll never be good enough and I know that, but usually I can just hide it all behind a smile. It’s since I broke up with Georgia, she’s doing my head in, saying stuff about us, about what happened why can’t see just leave it? It was only three weeks and I didn’t even sleep with her!
URGH!
Why couldn’t it be like it is for Rhys and Zoe? Oh so wonderful for them, I’m convinced they’re in love by now, hell if they miss a day with each other it’s like a bit of them is missing. I want that. Wait I need that. Some people get all the luck and then some people get bad luck and I’m just me, no good, no bad, and just boring.
1:35Am. Repetitive, that’s all it is really, nothing, changes and nothing ever will. I can’t even think of anything to change, nothing happens around here, there’s nothing to do and nowhere to go or at least no way of getting there. Urgh the only decent thing in my life is gigs and five people I couldn’t live without, but whatever. They all seem happy at the moment; I wouldn’t take their happiness so that I can join them.
2:08Am. Pills! I need pills! Last time this happened to me, I was thinking about how amazing Georgia was before I asked her out and look where that got me. A public relationship and an even more public breakup and I’m not even a well known person, well except for hanging around with what could only be described as the rejects. I want to go to sleep! Tomorrow is going to be torture if I don’t and I’ll just piss everyone off with the bad mood I’m in. Why is the world so cruel?
2:52Am. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Why do I have to be in my mind so much, if I was a stupid fuck then I wouldn’t have this problem, oh how amazing it would be to be a complete idiot, stupid thinking mind. I need to get out of it, that’s what Rhys has told me on more than one occasion, but I can’t. Give me a few weeks and I’ll be absolutely fine. Hopefully.
3:07Am. That is it I am emptying my mind; no more thoughts will pass through it as of now.
...
...
...
That’s harder said than done.
7:01Am “OI! Gavin get up! You’ll be late otherwise!”
Great just great.
♠ ♠ ♠
Yeah I'll actually update this one, I have ideas and I know where it's going.xox