The Now or Never Kind

Waking up has always been one of my least favourite things to do, despite being something I have to do every day. I’m a big fan of sleeping, dreaming, and being comfortable, and I’m not a morning person. But I’ve noticed that sleep much better next to someone else.

Still mostly asleep, I rubbed my eye and knocked my hand into something else. Frowning I opened my eyes and blinked a few times to orient myself. William was wide-awake, busying himself with playing with my hair.

“Good morning,” he murmured, fingers grazing my ear.

I blinked at him blearily before running a hand through my hair and burying half my face in the pillow again. “Oxymoronic,” I half-croaked. He smiled and brushed away the hair that had fallen into my face. I breathed a sigh, letting my eyes shut again. “So I guess I wasn’t hallucinating.”

Bill chuckled, pausing to stretch his arms and flop down on his back. “Was there a question that you were?”

I shrugged and instantly winced. “Ugh, not anymore,” I groaned, rolling onto my stomach and burying my face in my arm. “I ache worse than that time Matt and I spent four hours at the gym.”

He laughed and leaned to kiss my cheek. It made me smile involuntarily, and I curled into the sheets. “That’s kind of not surprising,” he admitted. His eyes moved away, around the room, and came back to me. “We should get up.”

“Why?” I stretched, trying not to complain about my muscles hurting; I rested my head on my crooked elbow and shut my eyes, feeling William trace swirls on my back. “I’ve never just stayed in bed and done nothing.”

“Never?” I nodded. “What have you been doing for the past eighteen years?”

I opened one eye and smirked up at him grinning to himself. “Some of us actually do things in the morning, William. We can’t all laze around all day like rock stars.” He rolled his eyes, stroking my hair again. I smiled slowly; he knew how to get me. Bill leaned his head against mine, mumbling something indistinguishable. “Hmm?”

“I like watching you sleep,” he said.

“You’re such a creep,” I laughed, turning onto my side.

Bill chuckled, hands moving across my bare back. “You’re so cute when you talk in your sleep.”

“I am not cute.”

“You look so serene, like nothing in the world could ever bother you,” he continued as though I hadn’t spoken. “You have this kind of… glow.” He looked down to find me staring up at him. A smile quirked his lips. “You know?”

I blinked a few times, just taking him in. “No. I have no idea.” William laughed, smile lighting up his face, and tilted my chin up to kiss my lips. I drew my hand up across his cheek and slid my fingers through his hair. My pulse raced with misplaced exhilaration.

He pulled away an inch, leaning against me, and his eyes flickered up to mine. I bit my lip, trying—and failing—not to smirk. His expression turned inquisitive and Bill turned his head slightly, a hint of smirk playing at his features. “Again?”

I took a deep breath and traced his lips, which twitched under my index finger. “Please?” I whispered.

After a moment Bill pressed his mouth against mine. It felt like every good feeling I ever had multiplied by twenty and exploded in my brain. He pushed against me, rolling us over. On top of the covers, his hand pinned mine down, and after a moment our fingers laced together. Our grips tightened.

“Okay,” I sighed breathlessly, languidly rolling my head around to stare at the ceiling. “Now I think we should get up.”

William didn’t lift his head off my sternum. “I’m all for staying in bed all day, now,” he mumbled. “Just to be contrary.” I laughed softly, combing my fingers through his messy hair. “I am hungry, though.”

I rolled my eyes. “Which would indicate that we should get up,” I continued patiently. Honestly, it was like reason went right out the window when boys were tired. Or sex was involved.

He planted a kiss at the base of my neck. “Hmm… Or I could just eat you up. You’re delicious.” I squeaked and swatted at Bill as he bit my neck. He chuckled before pulling a pout. “Aww.”

“I would throw you out of this bed if either of us was dressed. And it didn’t hurt to move. And it wasn’t your bed.”

“And you didn’t love being in bed with me?” he prompted with a toothy grin. I arched an eyebrow at him dubiously. He rolled his eyes, still grinning, and pecked the new bite-mark before sitting up. “I’m a smartass, I heard you.”

“Good boy.” I pulled the sheets up around me, surveying the clothes on the floor that Bill was looking through and putting on. What had he gone with my bra?

I sat barefoot at the kitchen table, smiling slightly as I stirred my tea. William was making himself food, having given up trying to get me to eat something. It’d taken longer than necessary for us both to be dressed and downstairs in the kitchen since I enjoyed watching him get dressed and he enjoyed me not being dressed. And because of both those things, I didn’t want to remove myself from the red sheets and he seemed determined to yank them away from my chest. There was a lot of laughing and coddling and he might have accidentally fallen into bed again.

“Are you sure you don’t want anything to eat?” Bill asked, finishing making his sandwich.

I sipped my tea, smile curling my lips. “Do you have any popsicles?” I asked sweetly.

He sat down and stared at me with wide eyes. “…You’re trying to kill me, aren’t you?”

“I like popsicles,” I protested coolly.

William blinked a few times before shaking his head and taking a large bite from his sandwich. I kept smiling to myself as I sat with one leg curled under me, drinking my tea—I was kind of amazed he had it, really—and watching whatever happened out the window. It was still raining, but not as hard as the night before. After a while, Bill crossed his arms and asked, “Okay, what are you so smiley about?” He smirked. “Besides the obvious.”

I rolled my eyes. “I happen to be in a good mood,” I declared. “I slept rather well, unlike usual, and I’m in a good mood when I sleep well.” William raised his eyebrows at me. “You had nothing to do with that.”

“Uh huh,” he said, doubtfully.

“Quit being so full of yourself. Are you also so smug after you get laid?”

His eyes rolled to the ceiling thoughtfully and his expression become overtly pensive for a moment before he grinned at me. “Yeah, pretty much.” I rolled my eyes as he stood from his chair. “I need a shower.” Bill kissed the top of my head before he walked out. “Feel free to join me.”

I scoffed in laughter and picked up his plate. “You wish!” I called after him, going to the sink. I rolled up my sleeves and grabbed the bottle of dish cleaner sitting on the counter. Don’t ask me why I decided to wash the plate, as well as the full sink of dishes in the kitchen. Cleaning was one of my weird compulsions, when I was stressed or angry or bored out of my mind. But since I was none of those things, there was really no reason.

After I finished, William still wasn’t out of the shower, but his laptop was sitting on the coffee table, so I hopped onto the couch and flipped it open. I checked my email—a few from the boys, but they weren’t important—and checked my facebook—seventeen notifications from various people about various things.

Then, bored, I logged onto YouTube. I watched a few videos from our subscriptions (mostly other bands) before sitting tapping the keyboard for a few minutes. Matt, Jesse, and Sean had each posted their own blog videos, which meant it was my turn. And since I had nothing else to do at the moment…

“Hey, guys,” I said, waving at the camera at the top of the screen. “Penelope, here, updating you on what I’ve been doing.” I paused. “Kind of.” I shrugged. “Pretty much, I’ve been doing nothing—not in California, which is why my boys are freaking out— hanging out with some friends and having a good time. Um, we’re going on tour soon! I’m very excited, because I love the Audition and I can’t wait to see all you guys. We’re also going to be on the second half of Warped, so you’ve got no excuse so not coming to see us.”

I heard a shuffle behind me and saw Bill in the monitor. “What are you doing?” he asked.

“Everyone, say hi to William!” He leaned over the back of the couch and made a series of faces at the camera before grinning. I rolled my eyes. “I’ve just lost about three-quarters of your attentions.” I laughed when I noticed something. “Put on a shirt, you idiot!”

“That’s not what you said last night,” he replied, winking before heading into the kitchen.

I rolled my eyes at the camera. “Boys. He just took a shower.” I paused, putting on a pensive face. “Which sounds a lot worse than it is, connotation-wise...” I pursed my lips awkwardly, then smiled brightly. “Bye now!”

I quickly edited the video and posted it to YouTube. Well, that'll probably tell the boys exactly where I am, I thought, shutting off his computer. But it didn't really matter; I missed those idiots. I went into the kitchen to make fun of William, and he turned, scratching his head. "You did my dishes."

"Yeah..." I said questioningly.

"Why would you do my dishes?"

I shrugged. "Because they needed to be done, and you were taking a shower." I smiled at his befuddled expression. "Come on, you knew I was weird."

He chuckled. "Not that weird," he said, wrapping his arms around me. While he laughed, I stuck my tongue out at him. I opened my eyes and found him staring down at me; he dipped his head, caught me gently by the lips, and rendered me incapable of coherent thought.I'm kind of screwed here, aren't I?

I cleared my throat when William pulled away, in hopes that he wouldn't notice my weakness at the knees. "So, um." He didn't seem pleased that I was diverting his efforts. "It's about noon... and I didn't actually tell Beth I would be gone..."

He nodded, and I could have sworn there was a sigh in there. "You want me to drive you back," Bill translated. I nodded, smiling hopefully, and after a moment he rolled his eyes. "You are way too cute for mankind's own good."

We were almost to Elmhurst when I finally voiced what had been working through my head since I'd woken up that morning. "So not to be one of those oh my god what does this mean girls," I began, momentarily adopting my valley girl voice, "But... is it my imagination or is this not weird?"

Bill glanced away from the road at me. "That's not the question I was expecting," he admitted. I shrugged a shoulder—Okay, that still hurts—and looked out the windshield. "You don't think this is weird? I think it's fucking bizarre."

"Well, not the 'two friends sleeping together' part," I explained, pulling slightly at my hair, "Because that kind of came out of nowhere. I meant the 'two friends sleep together and neither of them freak out about it' part."

"We're both mature, rational adults?" he guessed.

"What is it with you and the outrageous allegations? First you call me happy, then you say I'm mature, rational, and—gods forbid—an adult."

He laughed and took our exit to the Di Costello residence. The subject dropped for a few minutes, and the only sounds were the traffic around us and the radio playing softly. I watched out the window at all the houses going by and thought about nothing. In my mind, there was nothing but the tiny microcosm of existence inside Bill's car.

And this little world was complicated as fuck.

"It's really up to you, you know." I blinked back into reality and looked over at him. William was focused on driving, or at least that's how it looked; I knew all his attention was on me. "Whether this becomes a regular thing."

"Like you have nothing to do with it," I said wryly. Deflect with humour, I thought at myself. You haven’t changed, have you?

William parked the car by the front gate of the house and we both got out. "Well, you should know what my thoughts on it are," he reasoned, sticking his hands in his pockets. "I came onto you, after all."

I stopped just outside the viewing range of the camera atop the gate and studied him. He tilted his head at me, waiting. I sighed and rubbed my temple. "I need time to think."

"Okay," he said after a moment. William smiled encouragingly, but I was already sinking deeper into my own head; he leaned to kiss me on the cheek and walked back to the car. I watched him turn around before heading to the talk-box on the stone pillar. I told the disembodied voice who I was and was buzzed in.

When I glanced back over my shoulder, he was gazing back at me as he slowly drove down the street.

Beth flung open the door as I raised my hand to knock and stood, blocking my way (which was a little counter-intuitive), with her arms crossed. “You left me at a party of my father’s business associates,” she said crossly. “I had to spend an evening with Leonardo Giuliani, the sleaze king of boring conversation himself!”

“I have a good excuse?” I offered, smiling hopefully. Her pale blue eyes narrowed, and she stepped aside to let me in.

We walked up to her room, making a pit-stop in the kitchen for drinks; all the while Beth explicated the gruesome dull details of the night before. “This had better be an amazing story,” she muttered as we walked into her room. “Like, you had amazing sex with a demi-god and he wants to make you his queen Amazon.”

I laughed nervously. “Well, you’re close.”

She turned and stared at me very seriously. I sipped my juice delicately. Beth turned, crossed the room, and locked the door. “Please tell me it wasn’t Mrotek,” she begged. Then I nearly snorted juice through my nose. “Just checking.”

“No, it was not The Butcher,” I hissed. “He’s not even in Illinois.”

“Why do you know that?”

“Bill told me.”

“AHA!”

I jumped, almost spilling the glass. “What?”

“You slept with Beckett!”

“So?”

“AHA!”

“STOP DOING THAT!”

“No! You slept with William Beckett!”

“I know! I was there!”

“Why are we yelling?!”

“I don’t know!”

Beth and I stared at each other before bursting out laughing. I eased myself down into a chair. “So,” Beth said with an intrigued tone. I sceptically eyed her evil grin. “Tell me everything.”

I snorted, pinching the bridge of my nose. “You really want to know?” She nodded eagerly. I rolled my eyes and sighed dramatically. “I honestly don’t even know. I thought about it on the way over here, and I have absolutely no idea how it happened. You know how we are: we joke around and flirt shamelessly but don’t really mean it… But we were talking and I got ticked and went outside and… he kissed me.”

“And you had sex on his front lawn?”

“No,” I stated, slapping my forehead. “I don’t fucking know. The storm started and somehow we ended up in his bedroom and the first time—”

“The first time?” she cut in, leaning forward. “As in, the time preceding other similar occurrences?” She laughed. “Oh man, Barakat owes me twenty bucks.”

I ignored the last part of that statement, not wanting to think about people talking about my sex life. “Yes, we had sex more than once,” I said maturely. “…Shit, we had sex more than once today.” Beth’s grin dropped off her face, leaving her gaping at me. I snickered to myself, both because of her expression and the idea. “It’s not a big deal.”

“Bullshit it isn’t! You both have got to be serious energizer bunnies.”

“Silenzio,” I muttered, face feeling hot. I slouched—because it was too painful to be called melting—into my chair. I smiled slowly. “…But it was good. God damn, it was fantastic.” But my smiled faded as I began thinking again.

Beth laughed, flopping back onto her bed. “I’m jealous. What’s a girl got to do to land someone like that?”

And then my phone rang.