The Now or Never Kind

I passed out at some point—though I had no idea whether it was during or after I’d talked to Alex—and woke up the next morning still on my stomach with one arm hanging off the end of the bed. My laptop sat peacefully on the bedside dresser and Sean and Matt were sprawled out on either side of me.

“Ugh, Sean needs to change his socks more often,” I groaned quietly, turning my face away from them. I lay still for a few more minutes before deciding that Matt’s feet smelled too and I wanted breakfast. So I dragged myself over the edge of the bed and somersaulted onto the floor.

I crept out of the guys’ room and back into mine, hoping that either Beth and Jesse were asleep or they were awake and not busy. I wanted a shower. Regardless, I opened and shut the door as quietly as I could.

“Morning.” I jumped, spinning around to find Beth on the couch. She arched an eyebrow at me, pausing in her reading. “Long night?”

“It’ll be a longer morning,” I replied wearily, gathering up my shit. “Trill still asleep?”

“Mhmm. He’ll be out for a while still. You should be amazed I’m awake now after last night.”

“Don’t want to know!” I sang, heading to the bathroom.

After my shower, I got dressed in some jeans and a hooded thermal shirt. I really didn’t want to put on shoes, but the thought of walking around a hotel barefoot made me want to vomit. So I grabbed my flip-flops and wandered out to the elevator, ruffling up my wet hair as I rode it down.

Down the corridor from the lobby was the dining room, where a continental breakfast buffet was laid out. I slugged through the line, filling my plate with fruit and sausage and English muffins. Intending to find myself a small table to eat alone, I paused to overlook at the ménage of tables and discovered that one of my tour mates was already awake and sitting at a small table hunched over his bowl of cereal.

I sat down across from him and set down my plate. “Good morning,” I greeted pleasantly. Danny grunted, glaring down at his food and ignoring me. I put milk and sugar in my coffee, raising an eyebrow at him. “Headache?” He continued to crunch his cereal loudly, not looking up. I took a bite of pineapple, frowning. “S’your problem?”

Danny’s eyes flickered up behind his glasses and back down. “You,” he muttered before taking another bite.

I blinked in surprise as he went back to ignoring me. “I’m sorry?”

He sighed in aggravation and straightened up. He looked at me, anger in his eyes, for a few seconds before speaking. “Are you always this much of a cocktease, or did I win a prize?”

Putting down my fork in surprise, I sat back. I’d never seen Danny angry, even when security moved and misplaced a box of their merch. But I was slightly horrified: who’d told him about my promise to swear off guys? How had he found out? “I…” I faltered, trying not to tremble under his stare. “I don’t think that’s quite fair.”

“Well, were you planning on telling me?” he demanded. “I didn’t think you were the type of girl to string a guy along, but apparently I was wrong.”

“Danny, you know I’m not,” I responded seriously. I hoped I didn’t sound as pleading as I felt. “I didn’t tell you because… well, this thing… between you and me…”

Danny shook his head. “Yeah, well, it's fun, I admit, but I'm not going to be your piece on the side."

Suddenly I stopped being mortified and worried that I was going to lose a friend and became confused. "What?"

"The thing you've got going with Alex?" he said, like I was a total moron, which I might've been at this point. "You know, the guy you're dating or fucking or whatever! And by the way, I know he whores around on tour, but seriously, you know he and Lisa are still—"

"No, no," I cut in, shutting my eyes and holding up a hand. This was coming too close to yelling for my taste. "I mean, what the hell are you talking about? I don't have a piece..." That was a bad metaphor I couldn't help but trip over. "I'm not involved with anyone."

Danny stopped, eyes going slightly wider. "You... But last night—!"

"Last night I was very drunk." In the shower I'd remembered my explication to Danny about how fucking sexy he was and had to scrub all my skin again; but in case he didn't remember I decided to skim over that. "And the time Alex was talking about, nothing happened. In fact, nothing happened so hard that my dream made me wake up and slap him."

"Oh."

Danny broke eye contact, looking sheepishly down at the table. I craned my neck down to study his expression: to my shock, his cheeks were tinted just the slightest shade of rosy pink. "...Danny Stevens, are you blushing?"

"No. Shut up." He commenced eating again, but very pointedly didn't look at me.

A grin slowly crawled onto my face. "You are!" I insisted, amusement thick in my voice. He glared when I started laughing. "I'm sorry." I hid my mouth behind my fingers and tried to regain my composure. "Just the idea..."It's really attractive.

I cleared my throat and sipped my coffee. "There is nothing going on with me and Alex Gaskarth," I declared maturely. "As much as he might like there to be. There never has, and there never will."

Danny nodded, and we both went back to eating in silence. In that silence, thoughts slunk their way through my brain. Why would Danny be so pissed off that Alex and I had something? I mean, he admitted himself that Alex was a bit of a cheating whore. Did he really hold me in that high regard to think I wouldn't slum so low?

Or was he jealous? My eyes darted up to him, chewing his cereal and looking still slightly embarrassed. Envious of the idea that I'd done things with another guy in another band I'd toured with—another lead singer— and would only give him the run around?

...That made me sound like a bit of a harlot.

It wasn't until I'd finished everything but my coffee that either of us spoke. "So wait." I looked up from my brooding to find a confused, cogitating expression. "What were you talking about?"

My eyes widened. "What?"

"You said that you didn't tell me because of this game we play," Danny stated. His brow furrowed. "But it wasn't that you're fucking Gaskarth. What was it?"

"Oh." I put my mug down and bit my lip, mind going into overdrive trying to work out how to explain it to him. Danny tilted his head, and I swallowed, trying not to think about the things that ran through my head the night before. "Well—"

"This ought'a be good," he said with a grin. "Now you're blushing."

I tossed him a glare and took another swig of coffee to strengthen my nerves. "As I was saying! Without gushing horribly the detailed drama of my love life, I am recently single and thought before tour started that I ought to take a break from..." I searched for a word, and Danny raised an eyebrow. "F-from physical, intimate activity."

I licked my lips, keeping my eyes on the chandelier behind and above his head. "But then we got to LA, and we started this strange little game between us, and it's been really fucking hard to make myself stop thinking about sex, and every time I think I've got a handle on myself, you do something that just sets my skin on fire, and I really don't mean to lead you on—that is completely not my intention—but I just can't deal with casual sex or friends with benefits or anything like that right now and I don't want to put you or anyone through dealing with my mindfuck of a personality, so I've kind of just sworn off guys all together!"

Out of breath, I shut my eyes and tried to relax. Why did I always say things in one breath? I hated rambling, and I couldn't help it when I got flustered. Danny, to point, got me flustered. Speaking of, I hesitantly opened my eyes and chewed my lip.

He was staring at me with a blank expression on his face, blinking every few seconds. He leaned his chin into his hand consideringly. After a long moment, he asked with a mix of incredulity and exasperation, "...Why?"

I sighed and finished my coffee. "Because boys are scum and don't deserve to be trusted," I said in a low, tired voice.

Danny was quiet again, and I waited anxiously for some response. Slowly, very slowly—torturously, almost—he grinned. "Baby," he said sensuously, making my stomach tighten, "Do I look like a boy to you?"

My face heated, all the possible responses running through my head. Instead of saying any of them—though some of them would've harvested quite interesting results—I simply smirked. Although I had to admit surprise about it, he wanted to keep playing, and that meant it was time to change the rules again.

I leaned forward conspiratorially and, just as I hoped, Danny did the same. I paused a moment like I was going to whisper a secret before continuing forward, pressing my lips ever-so-gently against his. I slid my hand across his cheek, delicately brushing his hair back over his ear.

When I sat back, smiling, he stuck in his place a moment before sitting back, licking his lips as his hair fell back into his face. He opened his bright blue eyes and my smile widened. "Food for thought," I declare softly. Then I got up, picking up my empty plate, walked across the room, stacked it neatly in a sink, and crossed to the elevator.

I leaned back against the wall, and the second the doors closed, I chuckled softly at the floor. Game on.

Back in the girls' room, Didi had woken up, looking frazzled and none too pleased about being conscious. Jesse had also emerged from the depths of the bedroom, and judging from his satisfied smile and Beth's far-eyed complacency, I had arrived none too soon. Maybe that was why Didi looked like she wanted to still be sleeping, though.

With all of them sitting in silence watching television, I felt horribly productive. Shaking my head, I decided to continue in this trend and put on some makeup. I went for subtle, tawny around my eyes to make them pop and some lip venom. True, I was technically allergic to some of the ingredients, but it had the same effect: Distract Danny Stevens.

When the rest of the guys woke up, I got to retrieve my laptop and yell at Sean and Matt about their personal hygiene. It was hard to keep a straight face though when Ryan said, "...Man, I gotta do laundry."

We packed up all our stuff and headed back to the bus after everyone had grabbed some complimentary breakfast; we had another day of driving ahead of us before sound check. I hopped onboard the tech bus to hang out with Beth, Didi, Aero and the rest of the Audition's crew; some time away from strictly band boys, even if it was only for a few hours, would do me good.

And it was a great plan, down to the T of my approximation time-wise. Several hours later, as we were nearing the venue, Beth got a text as Didi was complaining about how we girls were expected to shave their legs even though most of the time we wore pants; I personally had to agree with her, since I'd been far more lax with hair removal recently. However, my mind was quickly drawn away from the exposition when another text came.

"Um, darling?" Beth announced, staring at her phone. "Jesse says to warn you that, quote, 'Danny's been abnormally quiet with his thinking face on' all day."

I raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. "So?"

She mimicked my expression. "He turned down beer."

My expression slackened, and someone to the right of me gasped dramatically. The guys laughed and began chatting about something else, but I took it seriously. I knew when a friend was plotting—I picked up people's mannerisms quickly—and considering the events of the morning, I knew what Danny was plotting about.

Me.

Why do I have a deep, quivering sense of foreboding all of a sudden?