The Now or Never Kind

I didn’t know what Danny had planned, but my stomach was twisting itself into knots trying to figure out what it could be. He’d already left the bus when I went to get my outfit and makeup, and I didn’t really have to show up for sound check.

What made it worse was the smirk he gave me when I passed him in the hallway. I had to sit down very quickly after that and asked Aromi to get me some water.

I sat backstage, still worrying and trying to ignore certain urges, until the time came for our set to start; we were playing before the Audition tonight since they were the more popular band in the Midwest. I laced up my boots, grabbed my bass, and joined up with the boys.

I probably couldn’t tell you what went on for most of our set. To be honest, I was so in the zone during songs that an entire circus could have been happening behind me and I wouldn’t have noticed. But Jesse talking about getting drunk tonight caught my attention and I realised I hadn’t been a part of the banter that night.

“You should also buy the Audition drinks if you’re of the legal variety,” I put in casually. “They’re cheap drunks.” I grinned as girls cheered. “Something I have discovered on this tour.”

After that I got more into the moment, joining in the madness and talking about foreign vaginas and blowjobs and such, and exited the stage feeling much lighter than I had before. Sean, Jesse, Matt, and I all came off laughing about our parting words and were glad we could do this for a living. I snuck off to the bathroom to change into something a little less rockstar-y and in the meantime, heard the next set start.

The Audition didn’t pause between their first two songs to talk, so the panic that welled up in my throat was slightly less warranted. I still went back to stand and watch their set in the wings of the stage though. I tried to limit myself to bobbing my head and tapping my foot with the beat, but the urge to dance and rock out was nigh unstoppable. I also had to sing along in my head since fans in the front rows had already spotted me; that was why I sort of hated watching from the wings, feeling like people were looking at me rather than the band.

For the most part I simply enjoyed myself and forgot that I was supposed to be stressing out. Until, that is, Danny started talking again. “So you know Angie from Penny Dreadful?” he asked rhetorically. I stepped backwards, out of view of the audience but still in view of the band. I knew because Tim glanced over curiously; I pressed a finger to my lips fervently and he shook his head, laughing.

“Well, you see,” he continued, dragging the microphone stand forward, “I learned something very interesting about her recently.” I froze, eyes widening in the utmost dismay. Please tell me you are not going to out me on stage! Danny smirked, eyes wandering over to me just off stage-left. I shook my head pleadingly.

He turned back to the audience, still grinning and probably causing several females to require a new pair of underwear. “She has this impeccable, and incredibly sexy, Irish accent,” Danny declared. People cheered and I let out a gusty breath I hadn’t realised I’d been holding. “You wanna hear it?”

My heart stopped as the room hollered. Danny looked over again. “C’mere, Pen.” I crossed my arms, shaking my head again. Not. A. Chance. He pulled a sad face at the crowd. “She doesn’t want to.”

Boos and awws. “Maybe if you chant her name really loudly, she’ll change her mind.”

Let it be said that the power of suggestion is impassibly corruptible in the hands of a lead singer with a microphone, because I swear people down the block wondered who the hell Angie was and why there was a host of teenagers screaming her name. If asked, I would swear orgy and that my name’s Rhiannon. Which it conveniently is.

Eventually I had to give up—otherwise they would tear the fucking building down—and walked out of my shadowy hiding place. I have never hated applause so much. I shook my head as I got to Danny and said, “I kind of hate you.”

“Don’t hate me!” he ordered in surprise and into the mic. “Love me! It’s a good thing!” He laughed and put his arm around my shoulder. “So whaddya say? Can we hear it?”

“Fuck no,” I retorted, leaning into the mic. Several people laughed, including Seth. “You’d have to contribute further to the delinquency of minors.”

“I’m pretty sure nobody in the room has a problem with that,” Danny said, taking the mic back.

I laughed. “I can do you one better though.”

“Oh yeah? What’s that?”

I took the mic out of his hand, but remained in the crook of his arm. “Does anyone here speak Italian?” I asked. Two people raised their hands. I grinned. “Good. Keep this to yourselves.” I switched hands and patted Danny’s chest. “Se avessi il mio desiderio, io scoperei quest’uomo fino a lui non avrebbe energia muoversi.”

That handful of people whooped and whistled loudly, while everyone else simply looked confused, though they cheered anyway since I was speaking Italian and Italian is sexy. Danny tilted his head. “What does that mean?” he asked, half-heard by the mic.

“Don’t worry about it, sweetheart,” I replied with a wink, handing him back the mic on my stroll off the stage.

I didn’t care about watching the rest of the set. Danny had tried to one-up me, and I’d countered it, even if he didn’t know it. There were only a few people who knew it, which just made my evilness giggle.

Except two of those people were in my crew. Matt and Aromi were standing just inside the door to the green room, both with their arms crossed. “Ah shit, I forgot about you two,” I muttered, walking around them.

“Oh no you don’t!” Matt said, grabbing me around the waist. I eep!d as he threw me onto the couch and sat on me. “Rhiannon Banannon, please tell me you did not just advertise that you want to fuck Danny Stevens until he can’t walk.”

“Oh my god, Matthew, get off me,” I groaned, pushing him.

“No deal, princess,” Aero said, coming to sit on the table beside us. “We heard what you said!”

“Yeah, and ‘fuck him until he can’t walk’ sounds like I’m the one with a dick! That is not what I said!”

“Well, I didn’t really hear the last part,” Matt admitted, still not moving, “But I can fill in the blanks.” He winked. “Plus I knew you were a feisty one.”

I rolled my eyes. “Whatever.” Then I got an idea and smirked. “Tu sei geloso perché voglio fargli cose sporche.” His green eyes widened. “Now get the fuck off me.”

After talking to fans until security threw them out and we hauled all our equipment back into the trailers, I threw on a hoodie—All Time Low, this time; I had merch from every band we toured with—and wandered outside. It was getting late, and we were set to drive through the morning, so I was down for a little shut-eye.

“So what did you say?” I twisted halfway around; hoods make peripheral vision limited. Danny fell into step with me. “I asked everyone who might know and nobody will fucking tell me. Aero thought it was fucking hilarious.”

“He would, the asshat,” I chuckled, shoving my hands into my pockets.

“Come on, tell me!” he whined, pulling me into his side by the hip. I bit the inside of my lip when he snaked his hand under my hoodie. “I understood, like, one word!”

“Nope!” I took longer steps, moving out of his reach. “I told you not to worry about it. It’s an affair of comparatively little import.”

After a second or two, Danny caught up with me again. “Was it that I have such a great voice that you think about all the dirty things I could say to you?” The moment I missed a step, half-tripping over the cement, he knew he had me. I could see it in the grin he tried to cover up. “Or maybe it was that I make you so hot, you lie in your bunk and fingerfuck yourself until you come? That I make your pussy so wet, you pretend it’s me fucking you?”

I swallowed hard. Danny spoke with such casualty that he might as well be talking about the weather or where we were stopping for dinner. How did he do that? “Or maybe you said that you want me to do that for you, lick your pussy and suck on your clit until you can’t fucking see straight.”

Shuddering at his fingers tracing the small of my back, I barely noticed that my feet slowed to a stop. I stared straight ahead, seeing how close the bus was, but not really seeing it. Danny’s voice was mesmerizing as he spoke in my ear, low and soft. “Maybe you said you’ve been thinking about how hard you make me and wondering what it’d feel like to have my dick in your hot, wet mouth.”

Slowly my eyes lifted to his and saw the wicked glint in his blue eyes. “Mostly, though,” he said, voice dropping almost to a whisper, “I think you want me to fuck you over and over until you can’t take any more… and then fuck you again.”

In the charged silence, I took in a deep, shaking breath and let it out. I licked my lips and swallowed, trying to gather some semblance of distinguishable words together. “You’ve got a really goddamn dirty mouth, have I told you that?” I managed eventually, quietly to keep my voice from breaking in the middle.

After a few seconds, Danny licked his lips as well and turned it into a smile; though, I had to admit, there was no way of describing his look other than ‘predatory.’ “You should see the look on your face.” His tone was sparked with amusement, but still harboured that rough, wanting fire. “It's like you don't know whether to run for your life or take me up on everything I just said.”

It took me another few seconds, but I did manage to break eye contact with him. I also remembered that we were standing in a venue parking lot in the middle of the night when we were supposed to be getting ready to leave. Where had everyone else gone? Then it occurred to me that our exchange had lasted a minute and a half at most. It’s easy to find yourself alone, even on tour, for that long.

“We should get to the bus,” I said, finding my voice again. Danny blinked, then nodded and stepped back, and we started walking again in silence. I discovered that I was shaking so badly I could hardly walk straight and my heart felt like it was going to pound through my chest. But I guessed that had been his aim.

“We’ll finish this talk another time,” he promised, opening the door for me. I froze with one foot on the step, all the tension that had been slowly easing its grip on my muscles returning in an instant. When I turned my head, Danny smiled, his expression returning almost to the way it always was when he moved the pieces on the board of our game. There was still that flicker in his eye, though. “Somewhere private we won’t be disturbed.”

I couldn’t decide which was worse: the fact that he’d trapped me in a corner that I couldn’t finagle my way out of and he had complete control… or the fact that I was kind of looking forward to it.