The Now or Never Kind

“~I’m on the search and two floor hi-ee-iigh,~” I sang to myself as I folded t-shirts. “~See the girl that I’ve been chasing after…~”

“Why is i’ that whenever you two are t’gether,” Sean queried, counting money, “Over ‘ere, sellin’ merch, tha’ ev’ryone wants t’buy somethin’?”

Beth chuckled and neatly packed our CDs back into the cardboard box at her feet. “It’s because we are incredibly charming.”

“And good looking,” I added with a grin.

“Three hundred dollars worth o’ good looks an’ charm?” he challenged, holding up the wad of bills before returning it to our lockbox.

“For one night?” We exchanged glances, and I shrugged. “Sounds about right.”

“Did you already put the CDs away?” Nix smiled from the other side of the table and waved her wallet. “I wanted to grab one.”

Sean, completely oblivious to the entangled backstory that had been wandering around all night, smiled at her and reached across the table in front of Beth and me to pull out a jewel case. “Ten dollars, love,” he said.

Nix chuckled as she went through her wallet. “And I half-expected to get charged extra,” she muttered. Sean frowned at her and then aimed it at me. Beth and I shrugged, feigning ignorance.

She and Sean started talking about the show while Beth and I continued to clean up, and during that time, Danny and Seth stopped over between trips to the bus. Apparently, despite coddling and begging, Nix was driving to her friend’s house to stay the night before driving back to Toronto the next day.

“But we’re staying in a hotel!” Danny said for the third time. “Wouldn’t you rather not have to drive two hours to sleep on someone’s couch?”

“Hotels are gross,” Nix argued with finality. “Besides.” She held up her new CD. “I’ve got new songs to learn.”

“You don’t want to watch the game from today?” Seth added, pouting just a little bit. I smiled and shook my head as I lugged a box of hoodies from behind the table. “Some wine, coupl’a blankets, hockey players beating the shit out of each other…”

She laughed. “As… amazing as that sounds, didn’t you already watch it?”

“Danny, Matt, and Angie watched it, I didn’t!”

“You, sir, drive a hard bargain. I’m in.” Pause. “Wait.” Nix suddenly turned to me with big, surprised eyes. “You like hockey?!”

I shrugged. “Yeah… but I’ve only just gotten into it.”

She turned back to Danny with a sly smile. “I approve. She can stay.” Danny chuckled and looked away, a little embarrassed. I, meanwhile, took that as my cue to take our merch out to the bus.

Everyone else had already packed all the stuff into the trailer, so I shoved in the cardboard boxes and shut the doors. I glanced back at the venue, trying to remember if I’d left anything, before I decided it’d be best to go in and check for certain. On the way back in, I passed Ryan and Tim.

“Oh!” I exclaimed, turning around when a thought struck me. They turned as well. “Danny didn’t really find that guy and do something, did he?”

“Uh, I don’t think so,” Ryan said, looking confused.

I smiled in relief. “Okay, good. Thanks.” With that, I entered the venue again, leaving them in the parking lot with their confusion.

I’m a strange and confusing person. Learn to love it or get over it.

It turned out that I didn’t leave anything in the venue—because I was wearing a hooded shirt and had no need for a hoodie— so I was the last one out of the building, and security was kind of enough to escort me across the parking lot. Apparently I was at risk for being attacked by the asphalt, which was the only thing around at that hour. Once in the bus, I fell onto the couch and let my head roll back and my eyes shut.

When we started moving, the cushion beside me depressed. I lifted my heavy head and blinked blearily, only to have Danny lay his arm around my shoulders. Giving him a smile, I rested back again, only to have to adjust so I wasn’t pulling my own hair. In doing so, my hand brushed against his, resting limply on my arm, and I somehow ended up playing with his fingers for the whole ride.

It was a half-formed habit I’d abandoned soon into my first relationship. Ryan always had to be doing something with his hands and got kind of restless if I sat still with him; he always called Brendon out on being a spaz, but Brendon was just more obvious with it.

But at that point in time, Ryan was the farthest thing from my mind. I was thinking about the man beside me and the space we were in at that moment. The bus could have been about to crash and I wouldn’t have worried; I had no concept of future. I was thinking about Danny’s arm across my shoulders and under my head. I was thinking about his knuckles as my fingertips ran over them. I was thinking about the heat coming from him and the way his chest raised and fell.

A smile pulled at my mouth so gradually that I didn’t realise I was smiling until I felt Danny’s lips against my ear. “You’re in a good mood,” he murmured.

My smile widened. “I am,” I confirmed, sliding a hand over his leg. His breath hitched and I raised a coy eyebrow at him. “I do that sometimes.”

Danny grinned, making a little part of me melt. Okay, so maybe I am affected by his looks a bit. “And you’re not mad at me anymore.”

“Nope.” My lips popped on the P. When I my swivelled eyes over again, he was staring at my mouth with a sort of glazed-over look. I smirked. “I like Nix too much to hate her. But I did notice a trend in your taste in women.”

After a few seconds, he snapped out of his trance. Then the smirk appeared. “That you’re both incredibly sexy,” he guessed, voice dipping lower as he neared again, “And intelligent… and sweet…” His tongue snaked up the outside curve of my ear. “And completely hot for me.”

I laughed and returned to my lap my hand, which I realised had been gripping his knee tightly. “I was going to say liking hockey,” I commented lightly.

Danny chuckled and a shiver shot up my spine. “That too.” The bus drew to a halt, and his blue eyes lit up with his grin. “Come on, I’ve got a surprise.”

He leapt to his feet and, still holding onto my hand, tugged me out of the bus. “I hate surprises,” I complained as I jogged after him. He flung open the under-carriage and yanked his and my bags out. “Danny, I left my laptop in my bunk!”

“You won’t need it,” he promised, giving me a swift kiss that left me weak at the knees for three seconds before he starting pulling me towards the hotel. Danny still hadn’t let go of my hand when we stopped at the front desk. Slightly out of breath, I leaned against his shoulder. Why did we have to run?!

Luckily, Danny let us walk across the lobby to the elevator, but once inside the empty cubicle he latched onto my neck. The breath that passed my lips was halfway between a moan and a whine. He was rushing me places for a surprise, both things I hated, but I couldn’t shake the dirty thoughts from my head.

Very frustrating.

“What’s your damn surprise?” I demanded as he opened a room’s door with the keycard he’d gotten. Danny grinned and held the door open for me to walk through, only to slap me on the ass once I did. I squeaked and narrowed my eyes at him as I walked backwards.

“This is your surprise,” he revealed, kicking the door shut and tossing his bag down. I set my own down, glancing around sceptically. Single room, one queen-size bed. A yelp escaped me when Danny caught me by the waist, spun us around, and pinned me to the bed. His eyes danced as he grinned down at me. “I got us our own room.”

I raised an eyebrow, trying to ignore my heart pounding against my ribs. “You paid to book a separate room, even though we could’ve just thrown out our friends for a few hours?” I asked as dryly as I could manage while being breathless. “You’re crazy.” I bit my lip and edged the hem of his shirt up. “I like it.”

Danny attacked my lips fervently, hands roaming my body like they were trying to memorise every inch. He didn’t ask permission before forcing his tongue past my lips, and I twisted as his fingers found the top of my jeans. Moaning quietly, I rolled my head to the side to give him easier access to my neck, which he bit and sucked and kissed like it was the only thing keeping him alive.

I tugged his shirt over his head and ran my hands all over his lean form. His smooth skin was the only thing I wanted to feel forever, and it lit my fingertips on fire. I drew my nails lightly up his back, over his spine, and Danny growled against my throat; my hand continued up the back of his neck and pulled his lips back to mine, tightening in his long hair.

Without detaching his lips from mine, he crawled up further onto the bed and pulled me with him in one movement. I bounced a little on the landing and laughed slightly, hair spread across the pillow. “Sorry, angel,” he said, voice rough.

I scoffed as Danny rolled my shirt over my ribs, guitar-string-callused fingers leaving shivering trails as they caressed my skin. “I’m no saint,” I corrected just before my shirt passed over my face.

On his knees, Danny stared down at me as he trailed his index finger down my sternum, over the front of my bra, and down to my navel. I bit my lip, back arching to follow his touch. He traced the fading mark on my hip from when I walked into a table backstage. “You’re so fucking beautiful,” he whispered. His blue eyes, dark and stormy with want, flickered up to mine, causing my whole body to ache for him.

Pushing myself off the bedspread, I pressed myself against his chest, ignoring the bra-strap that fell over my shoulder, and placed a finger on his shiny, wet lower lip. Danny pressed his lips together and kissed my fingertip, eyes locked on mine; his head snaked past my hand to my shoulder, where he planted feather-light kisses after the other strap off he eased down.

I sighed, eyes fluttering shut, as his nimble fingers unhooked my bra and made it disappear. If it had been a movie, the Beatles’ “I Want You” off Abbey Road would’ve been playing, because that’s the only coherent thought that ran through my head. But maybe that was just because I was a music freak.

Returning my lips to his, our tongues fighting for dominance, I dragged my nails down his stomach. Danny moaned into my mouth and teased me hard through my jeans, making me jerk into him. I wanted him now. My hand tripped down to his waist—a good skill, being able to do things one-handed— and I managed to get his belt undone before he grabbed my wrist.

I pulled away, fearful I’d done something wrong. “No no no,” he chastised softly, turning my hand over to kiss in the inside of my wrist, “This is about you.” Danny half-smiled and began kissing my face all over, eyes, nose, cheeks, forehead. “And making you feel good.” He guided me backwards onto the bed as he did so and popped open the button on my jeans. “And making up for me being a dumb asshole.”

Despite my hesitance—and, admittedly, confusion—I laughed. “You’re not,” I refuted breathily as his kisses trailed down. “You can just get a littllll-ooh.” I lost all train of thought when Danny’s mouth sealed itself against my breast at the same moment his hand found its way into my jeans. His tongue swirled and my jaw quivered.

Danny continued his slow journey down my torso, all the while fingers rubbing me through the thin fabric of my underwear. I grabbed a handful of the bedspread and gripped it tightly when he tongue dipped over my navel. He swiftly tugged off my jeans and gently ran his hands down and up my thighs, lips never stopping.

“Danny?” I asked hesitantly, raising myself to my elbows. He spent a few more seconds adulating the newly-revealed flesh of my belly before he lifted his head. In another case, I would have broken out into an adoring grin of his mix of surprise and questioning. I felt my face flush, suddenly feeling incredibly young and naïve. “Um…”

His confusion deepened briefly—Danny emoted strongly through his facial expressions—before a grin pulled at the side of his mouth. “You’ve never done this, have you?” he asked, amusement oozing through his lust. I bit my lip, embarrassed. “Nobody’s ever gone down on you?”

Looking away, I shook my head very slightly. With a chuckle he crawled back up my body and kissed my lips confidently. Some of that confidence leaked into me; he wasn’t laughing at me. “Oh, this is going to be fun,” he predicted, voice dark and smouldering again.

Part of me went “…eep!” The other part went “…yes please!”

With one hand he edged an elbow out from under me, and with the other he pressed my shoulder firmly only the mattress. Taking a deep breath, I relaxed into the cool pillow but kept track of him scaling down my form again.

Danny hooked his thumbs under my black boyshorts and eased them down my legs, tossing them carelessly away. He ran his tongue the length of my left hipbone and I drew a ragged breath; eyes shut, he rubbed his face against my inner thigh, pressing my other knee to the bed.

This, apparently, was a distraction from his thumb, which lighted against my clit and began circling. I gasped and whimpered simultaneously, muscles in my abdomen tightening as my chest rose sharply. He pressed his cheek against my skin, simply watching my reaction, as he pressed a little harder.

I chewed my lip, searching for the arm attached to the hand on my leg and gripping it tightly. His thumb disappeared, allowing my breathing to slow a moment, before Danny lowered his head and drove his tongue against that sensitive nub. A shock ran through me, momentarily deafening the moan on my lips.

He thoroughly licked me all over, pulling me out of my mind when his lips closed around my clit. I threw my head to the side, revelling in the waves of heat that flooded me. Danny drew away a moment to pull my hips toward him and fold one of my legs up, but he went right back, tongue delving into me.

After a desperate cry, I forcing my lips together to stifle my moans, but only succeeded in turning them into growls. He went back to swirling his tongue around the most concentrated collection of nerve endings in my body, replacing his tongue with two fingers that slid in and out easily.

Writhing against the sheets but trying to keep my lower body still, I pressed a hand to my face, half-hidden by increasingly messy hair. I was half-conscious of the fact that I was moaning his name over and over between curses in Italian and thus bit down on a few of my fingers, but it didn’t stop the mounting pressure that made my legs twitch uncontrollably.

Danny, his own breath fast and hard, removed his digits to dig them into my hip to hold me down and returned his tongue inside me. Gasping loudly for breath, I convulsed, sternum trying to escaping from my chest as my hips bucked. The ceiling spun with blinding colours and I could only hear the piercing din of deafness.

When I collapsed limply onto the bed, I scarcely noticed him rearrange my legs and pull himself up beside me. I was just trying to remember how to breathe.

Planting gentle kissing along the side of the face, Danny gathered me up in his arms. My head kept rolling away towards the ceiling, so he placed a hand on my cheek. “I lied,” he murmured in my ear between kisses.

“What?” My voice was too high and too breathless, plus I could barely comprehend language anyway.

“When I said I was jealous because you dated another musician,” he explained, turning my face towards him. Half-lidded my eyes had a little difficulty focusing, but those bright blue gems were a distracting enough target. “It was because I thought I was falling for you.”

Whether due to the natural regaining of my sense or that very sobering confession, I blinked away my dull wits and gazed at him, open-mouthed. “…Thought you were?” I whispered, voice hardly audible.

That was a… heart-breaking choice of verb tense.

“Am falling,” he corrected quickly. Then he frowned. “Was… fell.” He grew frustrated with words and pressed a kiss to my lips. “I like you.” A smile grew on my face and Danny groaned. “Fuck, you have no idea how hard it was to watch you lose your mind like that.”

I slipped a hand—hooray, I have control over my extremities!—into his undone jeans. His breath quickened again, and I smirked. “You poor, selfless thing…”