Acting On Love

I wanted to find some way to resolve the fight I'd had with Lisa, whether that was possible. After all, she had been the one with the last say. I'd tried to convince her I was telling the truth about myself, but she didn't believe me. I didn't want to go to breakfast. I didn't want to sit alone with my bowl of cereal whilst she sat across from me - perhaps alone herself, but maybe not - and meet those cold looks as we both remembered the last things we'd said to each other. No, I didn't want to do that. My stomach rumbled as if to rebel against this decision. Maybe Ville will have something, I thought.

My phone began to ring in my pocket. I pulled it out, hoping it was Lisa - calling to apologise. I got an equal - if not greater - smile as I saw that it was Ville.

"Ville," I said, smiling, even though I knew he could not see it. But he would hear it in my voice.

"Kristen, have you seen today's paper?" he asked, seemed a little excited, yet nervous at the same time.

"No, I haven't. Ville, it's not even seven o'clock yet," I said, picking up the small alarm clock on my desk to check the time.

He chuckled lightly. "Yes, well I've been looking out for this article. And here it is," he said happily. I could hear a slight crumple of paper in the background.

"What's the article on?" I asked, still guessing in my mind what it could be. I didn't come up with much.

"The fire," he said, before I heard him flick a page. "It's been officially announced as an 'accident' that was caused by a careless use of candles."

"That's great," I said, grinning.

"It is," I heard the smile in his own voice as it reached my ear. "You know, I think I might come in today, after all. I'm just going to tell Samantha I don't need help with the lessons. Not that she'd want to stand next to me and teach after the way I treated her for trying to kiss me," he said with a short laugh.

"So you're coming in? We're not ditching together anymore?" I said with subtle disappointment.

He laughed again. "We're already in enough trouble as it is. Anyway, at the weekend we can meet up for my birthday and have a nice meal in a great romantic restaurant I know." The way he deepened his voice to give it a husky, sensual sound for the word 'romantic' made my legs weaken at the knee. But I still had one query.

"So what about until the weekend?" I asked.

He seemed to freeze down the end of the line. "You know we have to be careful. I think it would be best if we stayed clear of each other for now."

"Oh. . ."

"I'm sorry, Kristen."

"It's fine," I lied, although I knew it wasn't his fault.

"See you in acting," he said in a strangely optimistic way.

"See you," I murmured, and we both hung up.

I managed to put off seeing Lisa in breakfast - since I didn't have any - but I knew I couldn't put it off forever. When I arrived at acting, praying that my stomach wouldn't rumble and embarrass me, I was surprised to see that I was later than all of the other students. That made a change. . .

Ville's eyes caught mine as I entered. He quickly corrected himself and looked elsewhere. I didn't like it, although it was probably for the best.

"I regret to announce that Miss Green will not be helping us out for the rest of the week, due to other commitments," he said to the class in a monotone. I watched him from where I sat, feeling guilty for tempting him to look at me, yet I never attempted to bring my eyes away from his perfect features. Every now and then, as his eyes swept across the students, his eyes would meet mine and linger there. But nothing else happened. His self control was something which amazed me and disappointed me at the same time.

I looked across at the others sitting in the theatre chairs. Some weren't paying any attention to anything he was saying, whilst others seemed completely engulfed in his words. Some girls even looked at him in admiration, as if they were wondering 'How can he not be married already. . ?'

I found it hard to accept that I wasn't the only one who had eyes for Ville. At the same time I also realised something else - I hated the fact that, as beautiful as I (and many others) found him, I could not say to any of them that he was with me. A very jealous part of me did not like this. But I had to accept it anyway.

When the end of the lesson came, I picked up my bag and slung it over my shoulder. I lingered on the spot as the other students went off to lunch, watching Ville to see if he wanted me to stay or not. He cast his eyes to mine for only one moment as he stood next to a girl with a question - it was one of the girls who had been engrossed in his lecture. His eyes seemed to say to me 'You know you should go,' in a gentle way. So I did.

When I arrived at lunch and stepped into the queue for food, I saw that Lisa was already seated with a couple of other girls and their boyfriends. She looked a little out of place sitting with them, but they seemed happy enough to accept her. Once I bought my food, I stepped towards the tables with no idea of where I was going to sit. No face in the crowd jumped out as welcoming, particularly Lisa's. I knew she saw me standing there, searching. But she kept her face turned towards her new friends.

Jake sat on a table near me with his girlfriend. He kept glancing at me awkwardly, as if he hoped I didn't sit next to them. I sighed and gave him what everyone seemed to want by sitting on an empty table alone with my tray of food. I picked up my fork miserably and began nibbling at my food. It felt like everyone's eyes were on me - the only girl sitting alone in the room.

I knew instantly the moment that Ville walked into the room - it was as if it was my sixth sense telling me. The only sense in me I didn't quite understand. Hope ran through my veins, along with the assurance that I wasn't alone. I looked up and watched him as he paid for his food. He was alone, as well. But that was more acceptable - teachers were like that.

His eyes traced the lunch hall briefly. I smiled to myself when I realised he was searching for me. His eyes finally found mine. But his face was wiped clean of satisfaction when he saw that I sat alone. His forehead creased as he glanced between the teacher's table and mine. Was he chosing?

I set down my fork and pulled out the chair next to mine. He saw this, but it only seemed to deepen the lines between his eyebrows. His eyes drifted back to the teacher's table as people pushed past him to sit down. Without looking back at me, he slowly walked off to sit with the other teachers.

My stomach seemed to fold - just slighly - as if I had just received a heavy punch to my torso. I let the hand - which held the chair open for him - fall slowly to my side as I watched him sit down with the other teachers, smiling and talking. Two girls walked past, already finished lunch, and smirked as they looked at me. I dropped my eyes down to my plate, feeling defeated and alone. Just looking at the food made my stomach turn slightly. I couldn't stand sitting there alone. I couldn't stand feeling alone.