Acting On Love

I slowly sat down, as he'd told me to. I felt uncomfortable on the chair - I couldn't sit still on the leather. He stared at the wooden table in front of him, placing his fingers together. He seemed to be in thought. I heard the hard leather creek underneath my weight as I shifted in the chair nervously.

He looked up quickly and watched me through his slightly aged eyes.

"It has. . . come to my attention," he paused, looking away from me. "That you have been involved with one of my staff. . .romantically."

I gulped and waited. His eyes moved to meet mine again.

"Is this true?" he asked quietly and patiently.

I tried to form a word with my tongue, but I was so torn between what to say. Did I lie and give it one last shot, or did I tell the truth and risk obliterating any last shred of hope? Thankfully, he continued before I was forced to answer him.

"That was a bit of an unnecessary question," he said gravely, looking at his desk for a moment.

Then he leaned forward on the desk, as if he had something important to say next.

"Well, I am pleased to say that I have some good news for you," he said with a smile.

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

He nodded. "I have come to the decision that it would be best for you to continue studying at the university - you may keep your place here," he said, still smiling.

"Oh."

Well, what had I been expecting?

"That is what you want, isn't it?" he asked, looking confused. "I would grant yourself as lucky if I were you."

I nodded, and tried to smile. "Yes, I want to stay here." But my mind was elsewhere - what was happening with Ville?

"Very good," he said, smiling again, making the lines of age in his skin deepen. He looked down at his desk again and began to sort out some paperwork. It was as if he expected me to then leave.

"W-what's happening with V-Mr. Valo?" I stuttered, blushing a little.

He didn't answer. I tried again.

"Is Mr. Valo staying here, too?" I asked.

He sighed and looked up at me, looking almost annoyed. "I am afraid it is not in my place to give you information regarding him."

"All right," I nodded, standing up from the chair. The leather squelched slightly as I did. I swear they only put that chair in there to embarrass people.

I left the room, walking past the woman who had dragged me there. I didn't stop moving so quickly until I was back in my room, where I slammed and locked the door behind myself.

Almost immediately, I picked up my phone and dialled his number, which I'd learned by heart. I waited impatiently as it rang on and on. Would he even pick up? I began to panic.

"Hello?" he asked dully.

"Ville," I gasped in relief. "Oh, thank God. . ."

"Thank God for what?" he asked, sounding uninterested. I heard him exhale rather sharply and forcefully. Then I knew he was smoking.

"Ville, why are you smoking? I thought you wanted to quit?" I asked quietly.

"In the circumstances, I think I'm entitled to one," he said harshly. "While I can afford it. . ." he muttered the last part.

"What, Ville, what's wrong?"

"Don't tell me you don't know already," he muttered.

"No. . . I don't."

"I'm being fired - what else?" he said coldly.

"W-what, no! You can't be. . ." I babbled.

"Of course I can be. . . I fucked a student, for goodness' sake."

"Fell in love with," I corrected, feeling hurt by the way he'd phrased it.

I heard him sigh. "Kristen, look. . . I can't stay here."

"What are you talking about?" I felt my breath get caught on the last word, making it come out slightly distorted.

"I can't afford to pay the rent. And no universities will take me after this," he said quietly, sounding defeated.

"No, we will work things out. Trust me, we'll find a way."

"How?" he questioned. "There is no other way. It lasted a long time. But. . . we made a mistake. And now it's my head on the block. I have nothing, Kristen. Nothing. No job; soon no apartment; no income. . . nothing."

"You have my heart," I whispered feebly.

He paused for a long moment. I pictured him thinking, torn over what to say back. For a moment he lifted my hopes right up. And I waited for the words that I wanted to hear.

But they never came.

"Your heart can't keep me alive," he finally whispered. The words came out dryly, and regretful.

Then he hung up.