Acting On Love

I was relieved when the weekend finally came. A week of being ignored by Ville had left me feeling numb. I couldn't help but wonder why he was ignoring me so much. I knew I wasn't just being paranoid - he used to smile at me; talk to me; look out for me. Now he barely acknowledged my existence.

One possibility in particular had been on my mind - what if he knew? What if he saw the way I acted whenever he was near? If that was true, then that would definitely explain his behaviour. He didn't feel the same way. He distanced himself from me, to help me get over him.

No, I couldn't believe that...

The weekend meant the majority of students jumped at the chance of leaving campus to see their families again. I felt no need to. I would only have to tell my mother about how acting was going. And when she routinely asked if I had my eyes on any guys, I would have to lie my way through that, too. As for my father - he'd most likely be away on work.

I lay on my bed and stared at the ceiling, still thinking about him. I was going to have to do something. It wasn't healthy - being miserable.

I went over my options.

1) Get over him and put my feelings behind my back. Just put on a fake smile whenever I saw him.

2) Just go on liking him. A crush never hurt anyone, right?

3) Probably the worst of them all - tell him.

The minute I'd thought it, I knew option 3 was impossible to do. Option 2 seemed impossible, too. This wasn't just a crush. If it was only a crush, why would it be making me so miserable?

A knock on my door made me come back into reality. I opened up the door to Lisa.

"You're still here?" I asked, surprised.

"Yeah, I thought everyone was gone," she smiled.

"Me too."

"Are you feeling ok, Kristen?" she asked, looking at the expression on my face.

"I'm f-" I stopped, "the truth is I'm not ok. Can we go for a walk?"

"Sure," she said, sounding guarded. She looked confused.

We walked around the campus, through the trees which looked beautiful in fall. We were both wearing our coats, since it was so cold.

"So do you want to talk about it?" she asked.

I thought for a moment. There was no way I could tell her...but hypothetically? That might work.

"Say...say you like a guy. A lot. And you almost think they like you back. But they see you with someone else, and suddenly they ignore you. What...why do you think they'd do that?"

She thought for a moment. "It could be jealousy... Or they could be trying to get over you."

I felt a little happier hearing that. "So you don't think it's because they don't like...you?"

She smiled. "No, I don't think it's that. Something's obviously bothering them."

"That's good to hear."

She grinned. "So, are you going to tell me who you're talking about?"

I froze. "I wasn't talking about anyone. Just...just hypothetically."

"Well...do you want to tell me who you like hypothetically, then?" she laughed.

I blushed. "I can't."

She nodded. "Alright. Some other time, though," she pointed a finger at me.

I nodded. "Ok."