Between Empty Space

*Franks POV*

I woke up to the sun beating through the curtains and slapping me across the face. I groaned in frustration and rolled over, facing Gerard. I opened my eyes just enough to see him. His hair cascaded down his face, covering his cheek and stopping at his thin lips. With every breath he took a piece of hair would tickle the inside of his nose, causing it to twitch cutely. I smiled at him and decided to rid him of his annoyance. I lifted my arm and gently removed the strands of hair from his thin face, revealing his beauty to me. I traced my finger gently down his cheek, careful not to wake him from his peaceful slumber.

I sat up from the bed, trying not to move the mattress as much as possible. A loud screech erupted from the bed frame as I made my final move to stand up. I cringed and looked over at Gerard to see if I had woken him. To my luck, his eyes were still closed. I made my way over to the bedroom door and took one last look at Gerard. Something in his hand caught my eye, a book? Curiosity consumed me as I inched closer to Gerard, stretching my hand out to the book with extreme caution. My fingers gripped the top of the book as I slid it as gently as I could out of his fingers. Once I had the book I smiled, turning around to once again, leave the room.

I made my way into the living room, book clutched at my side. I sat down on our old couch, propping my feet up on the armrest as I looked at the book. No title. The bindings were black as were the covers. What the hell was this? I flipped the book open and revealed many writings. Journal entries and poems? Gerard never told me about this...

I flipped to the front of the journal, finally reading the first page.

MARCH 7TH

Your Lies
Funny when things never change
Even when you say they will
But while your off screwing her
My life is standing still

I know that you are using me
But I'll never let you go
I know that you don't love me
I know I was just for show

I couldn't fucking stand
To see you love another girl
You know that you broke my heart
You know that your my world

But when your standing by my side
I'll believe your lies forever
Because everything seemed so perfect
When we were together
*******************************************
I ran away yesterday, I took Frank with me. He is my only friend and he's all alone. It would have been wrong for me to just leave him there, especially with the shit that was about to go down. My family knew that I was there, including Mikey. I couldn't have Frank find out what happened. What me and Mikey did....

"What the hell?..." I whispered to myself.

Suddenly I heard the bed screech and squeal, I slammed the book quickly and slid it under the couch. My heart began beating itself against my ribcage, sending the beat throughout my veins. My eyes led themselves to the bedroom doorway. My shirtless Gerard came out of our bedroom, looking sleepily into the living room at me, he smiled a hello to me and then completed his journey into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

I quickly looked down at the floor, worried that a corner of the journal may be hanging out from under the couch for him to see. Nothing was visible. I sat back quickly once I heard the toilet flush, pretending to stare out into space like I usually did. He emerged from the bathroom, looking at me beautifully.

"Going back to bed...." He said, making his way back into the bedroom. I heard the bed moan and scream again, signaling that Gerard was in bed again. I leaned back down reaching under the couch to retrieve the book again, thankful that he was so tired from last night that he went back to bed. I reopened to the first page, letting the words take me over once again...

I feel bad for leaving my mom like I did. She didn't deserve that, but I hope she knows that I did it for her and me. I don't know what she would have done if she found out about me and Mikey. I can't get that name out of my head...Mikey. I'm a sick fuck for doing what I did with him, but when we kissed it just seemed so perfect. When we made love it...it was just so right.

I felt like I was about to throw up. My insides were turning. Was he using me this whole fucking time so he could pretend I was his fucking little brother?! I closed the book, not wanting to read any further. I sat in silence...clutching the book of secrets in my hand. Shock replaced the feeling of puking as my body began to tremble and my eyes filled with tears...

The man I love...the man I want to fucking marry...is in love with his little brother.