Between Empty Space
Slow Asphyxiation
I stood there, my legs trembling. What do I do?
"G-Gerard?" He said, his voice cracking. I nodded, wanting to run away. I wanted to get out of here and forget about the pain in his eyes.
"I-I'm so sorry." He said.
"F-For what?" I asked, scared of what he was going to say.
"I can't tell you." He said, trying to calm himself down. I sat down next to him, keeping enough distance between us...just in case he was crying because of me.
"Come on, Mikey. I'm here for you." I said, letting the big brother part of me take over.
"My Girlfriend just called..." He whispered quietly.
"GIRLFRIEND? WHAT THE FUCK MIKEY?!" I said, not believing what was going on. He had a girlfriend this whole fucking time?! I felt so betrayed. How could he do that?!
"I-I didn't want you to find out..." He said shamefully..."She's going to have a baby, my baby." He said, keeping his guilty eyes on the floor. "We can't do this again, Gerard...ever. I realize now that what we have done is wrong." He said totally serious.
I was shocked. I looked at the floor as all the life drained out of me. My eyes remained on the floor as all the sadness flooded out of me and was replaced by rage. I glared at Mikey. How could he do this to me? I know that it was probably just a spur of the moment thing for him. But not for me! I wanted this! Fucking needed this!
"Gerard, please unders-"
"Shut the fuck up!" I interrupted him as I left the bedroom, anger slicing its way through my veins, erasing all reasonable thoughts. I grabbed my bags and threw them to the back of my car. Mikey was following me, pleading me. I couldn't hear his words, anger was whispering sinful things in my ear. It's whispers were overwhelmingly louder than his yelling. I picked up the phone and called mom.
"You need to come get, Mikey." I said and hung up before she had an answer to say anything. I slammed the front door shut as I made my way out to my car. Mikey's lips were moving...and I could tell he was really trying to get through to me. Anger turned into rage as he followed me through the gravel driveway to my car.
"MIKEY GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME AND GO TAKE CARE OF YOUR WHORE." I told him in a venomous tone. I was fucking finished, sick of being hurt by everyone.
"We both knew this would happen." A voice echoed in my head.
I slammed the door, and sped out of the driveway. Leaving Mikey there, alone in the driveway. I gave him my heart last night, I gave him everything I was and he belonged to someone else the whole time...I thought he was going to be mine! Tears of anger and betrayal flowed smugly down my cheeks.
"Poor baby Gerard...I'm still here for you." The voice said again.
I drove faster, the anger made me feel powerful. I pressed my foot down harder on the gas, sending the car flying faster down the winding highway. I wanted to get as far away from him as possible before I came to my senses and went back to him, telling him how much I loved him and needed him. In all honesty, I didn't care that he lied to me...I cared that he belonged to someone else and she was going to have a family with him! The idea of turning around began to fight with the anger...
"He'll just betray you again. Do you really want to go back and beg for him to forgive you? He already thinks you are a piece of shit. Why go back to someone who wouldn't do the same for you?" The voice asked.
"G-Gerard?" He said, his voice cracking. I nodded, wanting to run away. I wanted to get out of here and forget about the pain in his eyes.
"I-I'm so sorry." He said.
"F-For what?" I asked, scared of what he was going to say.
"I can't tell you." He said, trying to calm himself down. I sat down next to him, keeping enough distance between us...just in case he was crying because of me.
"Come on, Mikey. I'm here for you." I said, letting the big brother part of me take over.
"My Girlfriend just called..." He whispered quietly.
"GIRLFRIEND? WHAT THE FUCK MIKEY?!" I said, not believing what was going on. He had a girlfriend this whole fucking time?! I felt so betrayed. How could he do that?!
"I-I didn't want you to find out..." He said shamefully..."She's going to have a baby, my baby." He said, keeping his guilty eyes on the floor. "We can't do this again, Gerard...ever. I realize now that what we have done is wrong." He said totally serious.
I was shocked. I looked at the floor as all the life drained out of me. My eyes remained on the floor as all the sadness flooded out of me and was replaced by rage. I glared at Mikey. How could he do this to me? I know that it was probably just a spur of the moment thing for him. But not for me! I wanted this! Fucking needed this!
"Gerard, please unders-"
"Shut the fuck up!" I interrupted him as I left the bedroom, anger slicing its way through my veins, erasing all reasonable thoughts. I grabbed my bags and threw them to the back of my car. Mikey was following me, pleading me. I couldn't hear his words, anger was whispering sinful things in my ear. It's whispers were overwhelmingly louder than his yelling. I picked up the phone and called mom.
"You need to come get, Mikey." I said and hung up before she had an answer to say anything. I slammed the front door shut as I made my way out to my car. Mikey's lips were moving...and I could tell he was really trying to get through to me. Anger turned into rage as he followed me through the gravel driveway to my car.
"MIKEY GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME AND GO TAKE CARE OF YOUR WHORE." I told him in a venomous tone. I was fucking finished, sick of being hurt by everyone.
"We both knew this would happen." A voice echoed in my head.
I slammed the door, and sped out of the driveway. Leaving Mikey there, alone in the driveway. I gave him my heart last night, I gave him everything I was and he belonged to someone else the whole time...I thought he was going to be mine! Tears of anger and betrayal flowed smugly down my cheeks.
"Poor baby Gerard...I'm still here for you." The voice said again.
I drove faster, the anger made me feel powerful. I pressed my foot down harder on the gas, sending the car flying faster down the winding highway. I wanted to get as far away from him as possible before I came to my senses and went back to him, telling him how much I loved him and needed him. In all honesty, I didn't care that he lied to me...I cared that he belonged to someone else and she was going to have a family with him! The idea of turning around began to fight with the anger...
"He'll just betray you again. Do you really want to go back and beg for him to forgive you? He already thinks you are a piece of shit. Why go back to someone who wouldn't do the same for you?" The voice asked.