A Not So Sweet Fairytale

The next couple weeks went by in a blur and pretty soon Mike called to ask me to pick him, Billie Joe, and Tre` up from the airport. It was still fairly early and I didn’t really want to wake up Jeffrey since he’d just make me stay and eat a proper breakfast with him which would take an hour. Instead I grabbed a bright orange post-it and stuck it on the back of his door so he’d be sure to see it. Then I pulled on my new favorite pair of jeans from the vintage store as well as my favorite 18 Visions shirt. Then I raced through a bowl of frosted flakes from the box I kept under my bed after the first time Jeffrey’d thrown my box away when he’d found it. Though I was still hungry so I grabbed a few bananas to snack on the way to the airport.

With a banana in one hand and the other guiding the steering wheel I eased my way through the LA traffic towards the airport. By the time I’d reached the long curb displaying the copious airline names. I sighed and put the engine in park as I neared the correct sign and a crowd awaiting the doomed trio probably already fending off the pre-crowd from the airport. I unlocked the doors to the truck and waited for them to come racing any minute now.

“There!” Someone shouted, pointing to me.

“Oh my god, it’s her,” Another exclaimed. My eyes just bulged, truly fearing for my life as the crowd suddenly surged to me. I locked the truck doors. The guys could stand to knock, after all a few extra precious seconds with the crowd couldn’t be all that bad.
I tried to ignore the people who were brave enough to knock on the window and try to talk to me, but all I could hear were muffled shouts that I ignored.

“Anytime now,” I muttered softly to myself, worried that the paint on the truck would get ruined. As if on cue a blur ran to the truck with luggage dangling and I recognized them as Mike, Billie Joe, and Tre`. I waited until they were reaching for the door handles to unlock the truck and the next thing I knew they all three were in, luggage shoved into the backseat in a careless manner.

“Well what are you waiting for?” Asked an exasperated Billie Joe before he'd gotten into the truck completely. The next few minutes were spent in silence, each breathing heavily from running from the time they’d exited the plane all the way until they’d successfully (and gratefully) made it to my truck. After we’d been driving for a while and yet were still an hour away from the house, I decided to break the silence.

“So who wants something to eat?” I asked, feeling my stomach grumble.

“Me,” all three concurred simultaneously.

“Well then, the next question would be where?” I continued.

“I feel like pizza,” Tre` grinned.

“Oh c’mon we had that last night, for breakfast, and all five meals the day before,” Billie Joe muttered annoyed.

“Fine. How bout some good ol’ California fish?” Tre` suggested again.

“Don't you remember the last time we tried that?” Mike asked.

“Oh yeah,” Tre` grimaced.

“My stomach hurts just thinking about that. That’s gotta be the sickest I’ve ever gotten from stupid food poisoning,” Billie Joe muttered, probably more for my benefit than anyone else’s.

“Well, then why don’t we just go get a burger or something?” I suggested, my stomach really starting to get hungry now.

“Ok,” Tre` said awkwardly, probably forgetting that I was even there since he surely wasn’t used to the fact I was there yet. I saw Mike and Billie Joe shrug in satisfaction out of the corner of my eye, so I got off the freeway and drove around until I saw an old fashioned diner. The guys pulled on their ultra dark shades, then followed me into the diner.

“How many?” The plastic doll of a waitress asked with a smile that stretched across her entire face.

“Four,” I muttered and she led us to a booth covered in shiny metallic silver vinyl. I selected a side so that the guys could figure out the arrangements amongst themselves.

“Uhhh… I’ll sit here,” Tre` muttered sitting next to me to my surprise. If anyone had sat next to me I would have been sure it would have been Mike. Then I remembered that Tre` was probably the odd man out more so than either of the other two who had been childhood friends. He was probably used to being the one who took the empty side and now I was occupying it. I could get along with him if this was so. It might not feel quite so awkward if I had someone to talk to every once in a while.

“Alright,” Billie Joe muttered and I bet anything he rolled his eyes, but with the shield of dark lenses I couldn’t tell. Mike just shrugged and followed Billie Joe into their side of the booth. After glancing at the food stained laminated menus with bad graphics and worse names of foods (“Moon Over My Hammy” etc…) we each sounded off our orders, each a burger and a shake, until it came to me.

“This burger and a chocolate malt,” I smiled kindly, pointing to the burger whose name I couldn’t pronounce.

“Hey, I didn’t know we could get a malt!” Billie Joe whined to Mike.

“Get whatever you want dude. I could care less,” he replied.

“Fine I want a malt then,” Billie Joe finished, sighing.

“If he gets a malt, then I want a malt,” Tre` complained, arms crossed.

“Fine. Make mine a malt too,” Mike sighed, giving in.

They recapped the tour, all the little behind the scenes inside jokes I didn’t really get, but laughed just for the sake of not having to say anything. The only topic of conversation with Jeffrey this past week and a half, had been all about been my stomach, so that’s all I could really think about and I really wanted to get my mind off of it. Occasionally they’d ask politely what I’d been up to or whether I’d done such and such yet. Usually I just replied no and they’d launch back into their ever growing story. After the very cute table boy with carefully gelled, but seemingly messy, hair came by with our food we dug right in. I was the first to finish my burger, so I made the most of my fries by dipping them into my shake, hoping that none of the guys would say anything about my eating habits.

“So what exactly have you done this entire time? I mean, you didn’t go to the little kiddy park, any restaurants, and you only saw like one movie,” Tre` asked, apparently finally finding an end to the story and apparently very informed about what I had hadn't done.

“Well Jeffrey hasn’t let me eat out since the first day we got here. He insists on making everything himself. One time we went to the mall, god I hate the mall. The rest of the time we just relaxed and pretty much did nothing,” I replied, telling the truthful recap of the past few weeks.

“Aha,” Mike said, pushing his plate away apparently finished.

“What?” I asked, sensing a note of disbelief in his voice, and I knew that he was hiding something.

“Explain to me how I got a bill for five thousand dollars from one store, a store I’ve never even heard of and when I call them they say when you're doing 'nothing'-” He demanded gently.

“-Your daughter came in and bought a beeeeeeeeeautiful dress,” Tre` said, clasping his hands together next to his batting eyelashes identically to the lady in store and I immediately blushed a bright vibrant shade of red.

“Yeah. About that…Blame Jeffrey I swear. The only thing I hate more than shopping is dress shopping. Jeffrey managed to pick out the one dress I actually liked enough to manage to wear. He honestly didn’t know the price,” I explained hurriedly.

“Hey, relax. Just lemme know next time so I don’t embarrass myself in front of these two bozos by calling an exclusive dress shop and having them remind me that my d-daughter bought a dress,” he said, stumbling a bit on the word. I could tell Billie Joe and Tre` had noticed, but they kept their faces straight and found something to busy themselves with quickly (Tre` started coloring the child’s menu with the crayons he’d asked the waitress for, and Billie Joe was trying to convince him to play a wagered tic-tac-toe).

“I’m sorry,” I muttered, rubbing my stomach, knowing it probably wasn’t the last time I’d be saying that.

“Stomach ache?” Tre` asked eyeing my hand which I quickly pulled off my stomach.

“You could say that,” I muttered more to myself than to any of them.

“Hmmm?” Billie Joe said incredulously, cupping his ear.

I smiled, “Yeah. Stomach ache,” Tre` eyed me, then went on to finish his little tic-tac-toe game. After we’d managed to pile into my truck I had to argue with Billie Joe for the right to drive because apparently I drove slower than anyone he’d ever met.

“It’s my truck and I can drive it however I want to drive it,” I informed him, hands on my hips

“But it’s my precious time and I don’t want to waste any more than I have to so come on and just let me drive,” he pouted.

“We’re just going to get there at the same time. The traffic’s the same,” I countered.

“Mike, would you please control your daughter. She’s as stubborn as you are and that’s saying a lot,” Billie Joe muttered to Mike.

“Just let him drive, alright? You look tired so just take a break in the back with Tre`,” Mike started, but I cut him off.

“Oh come on. It’s my truck. My truck,” I reminded him, dangling the keys on the end of my finger.

“Fine. I give up. Mike, let’s go to the back. Tre` can sit with the stubborn one,” Billie Joe said, balling his hands into fists at his sides.

I smiled in triumph as I climbed into my rightful seat, that just happened to be next to Tre` this time. I was truly glad I’d been able to take the wheel because within five minutes of us taking off for the long hour ahead Billie Joe and Mike had fallen asleep.

“So how’s it going?” I asked Tre` since I couldn’t really think of anything else to say to someone who was just like a stranger to me.

“Fine I suppose. How about yourself? You barely said anything during breakfast/lunch thing we had,” he asked, turning to look at me as I kept my eyes glued to the road.

“Really? I dunno how I’m doing honestly. It’s just that there are so many changes,” I muttered, having no idea why I was telling an almost complete stranger what was really going on.

“Yeah. Look, if you ever need someone to talk to, other than either of those two assholes-yes they’re asleep so I can say that without having to worry about being socked in the stomach later-I’m here. Not that I can help you with much, but I am here,” he told me and I found an odd comfort in that.

“Uhhh… thanks,” I managed awkwardly.

“So how’s your boyfriend doing?” Tre` asked, abruptly changing the subject.

“Who Jeffrey?: I asked taken back.

“Yeah, who else?” He asked sarcastically, which had the desired effect of making me feel stupid.

“He’s not my boyfriend,” I corrected.

“But Mike said-never mind. How is he?”

“He’s okay. A little bit obsessive when it comes to cooking, but I think you can adapt pretty well once you’ve tasted some of his stuff.”

“So what is the deal with this kid? If he’s not your boyfriend is he like a half brother or something?” Tre` asked, clearly confused.

“No. I actually met him in Chicago. He’s just a really good friend,” I told him honestly

That and he can seriously screw me over with the secrets he knows.

“But how is sharing a house with him? I mean come on. Two teenagers with raging hormones, you’d think that one of you would give into temptation eventually,” Tre` suggested, nudging me a bit.

“What? Sex? Wow… Mike really doesn’t believe me about Jeffrey does he? Well look, Jeffrey is gay. Okay?” I told him, rolling my eyes.

“Oh… Ooooh. Now I understand. So that’s why… Oh god. Now I feel like an idiot,” Tre` sighed, clamping his hand to his forehead.

“And how did you finally manage to prove that one to yourself?” I asked, smiling.

“When we snuck him into a strip club while we were in Chicago and all he really wanted to do was look at Billie Joe. Wow… now it all makes crystal clear sense,” I laughed real hard at the mere image of Jeffrey walking into the strip club.

“Don’t tell Billie Joe,” I muttered and Tre` gave me a questioning look. “He might feel awkward with Jeffrey not being able to help but stare at him,” I explained.

“Fair enough I suppose. I think he already figures though. He brings up his wife and kids more when Jeffrey’s around now that I think about it,” I smiled, silently this time. "So what do you like to do?” Tre` asked, apparently feeling suddenly more comfortable around me now. The whole Jeffrey situation had probably been bugging him more than I’d thought.

“Uhhh… just about anything. I like to sing badly to music, I like to play poker and uhhh…. I like to put stickers on things. And yourself?” I managed. No one had asked me that in years and I hadn’t really thought about it lately.

“Cool. I like stickers too. Hmmm…I can kick your ass in poker, I like to sing and play well to actual music and I like finding ways to annoy the two assholes in the back. I won’t go through my sex obsession,” he told me, eyes straight forward with not even a hint of a smile, which made it all the funnier, but I managed to keep the laughter in.

“Thanks. Well we could find a way to annoy them right now. I mean, an opportunity like this doesn’t come around too often. Look at them, they’re like helpless babies. There’s a set of markers that Jeffrey stashed under the seat if you would like to do the honors as I am driving by the way,”

“I like the way you think...” he grinned, stretching to locate the described object beneath the seat.