A Not So Sweet Fairytale

I got out of the minivan slowly. I really didn't want to be here. The last time I had I'd managed to get kidnapped by a psycho rapist who had it in for me. But here I was anyways. Tre` had wanted to take me. I figured it was because he felt guilty, after all it was kinda his fault too.

"So, are you ready?" He asked me, coming over to my side of the minivan to see what was taking so long.

Just me and my stupid feelings. So sorry.

"No. But I don't think I'll ever be,” I shrugged, starting towards the door with Tre` right next to me. He held the door open for me as I passed and I smiled up at him.

"I'll go check us in,” he muttered before leaving me in a comfortable seat (you could tell they were designed with pregnant people in mind) and shuffling off to find the front desk.

I sat back in my seat and tried to start thinking about what I was going to tell my dad. I was sure I was pregnant, and if I was it could spell total disaster for everyone involved. I still couldn't even face my own kid after getting married. He didn't even know about it. All he knew was that everyone was mad at Tre` and that Gerard and I were having "a major debate" as Billie Joe so naively put it.

"Torrie Dirnt,” The nurse called, pulling me out of my thoughts abruptly and I realized that Tre` was sitting next to me in silence, an unusual thing for him.

I got up and waited for Tre` to do the same before following the nurse into the hallway lined with deceivingly safe looking doors. The metallic smell that always accompanies a doctor's office of any sort hit me like a wave of water. I tried breathing through my mouth, but that only made me taste it which was worse and caused my eyes to start watering.

Tre` took my odd breathing and tearing eyes as a sign something was wrong so he grabbed my hand (again) and squeezing it to let me know he was still there.

The nurse led us into a room, then handed me a cup and pointed to the bathroom. I shuffled off in its direction after Tre` sat down on the table because there was no chair.

***

"Whatever happens, I'm here,” Tre` told me for what seemed the millionth time. We'd been waiting for the test results for about an hour and it was starting to gnaw at me and apparently him as well.

"Thanks Tre`,” I replied, exasperated. I just wanted to know. At long last the door decorated with carelessly drawn teddy bear with a big blue bow holding a bunch of brightly colored balloons creaked open and the doctor walked in.

"-understand. We'll talk later Rita,” he finished with a smile before turning to us, his newest victims, and asked, "So what are we here for today?" He grinned, pulling on a pair of latex gloves and I shifted away from him.

"She thought-" Tre` started, but I silenced him with a harsh look. I was right there and perfectly capable of speaking for myself.

"I'm pregnant. Tre` here just wanted to confirm it,” I shrugged and it was Tre`s turn to give me the harsh look. The doctor looked disappointed as he pulled off his gloves reluctantly, throwing them away in the small white metal trashcan operated by a foot pedal in the very corner of the room.

"Alright. Let me see here. Well, you're HCG levels are up considerably,” he smiled and I waited for him to translate as he lubed up the ultrasound and positioned it on my bare abdomen.

"In English please,” Tre` requested, refusing to believe the picture that was being shown on the monitor.

"Oh, sorry. You're pregnant,” he said, still smiling as he moved the cold metal object just in the right place to view a black blob I knew all too well to be my to be child.

I just turned and looked at Tre` with my best I told you so look I could manage.

"Fuck,” Tre` murmured, pulling his clenched fist apart to cover his eyes.

"Well, I'll uhhh… Just leave you two to talk,” The doctor said very uncomfortably and I nodded in reply as he returned the metal thing to its proper container and gave me a towel for my stomach.

I leaned back against the wall, the table was definitely not the most comfortable place to be. Especially with doctor's ready to pull on the gloves and dig in. I closed my eyes and tried to drown out the constant beeping of machines around me.

"So what are we going to tell your dad?" He asked slowly and I was reluctantly pulled out of my stream of peace.

"Nothing,” I said simply, then continued when he gave me a confused look, "We'll wait til I’m three months in. Most people don't tell anyone for three months anyways,”

My explanation was met with another one of those annoyingly adorable confused looks that I was getting so acquainted with today.

"Miscarriages usually occur within the first three months,” I sighed and he nodded in comprehension (at last).

"So where does that leave us?" He asked and I took a deep breath before answering that question.

"I'll make you a deal. For the sake of my-our- baby if I don't miscarry within the next two months then we'll stay married and raise this kid together. No divorce,” he smiled the biggest, most grateful smile I could ever remember and it nearly broke my heart to continue, but Gee was still nagging at the back of my mind, "But if I do miscarry then we just won't tell anyone about this and get divorced as planned,” his smile faded, but he nodded all the same.

***

We finally got out of there and Tre` drove me back to his house where I'd parked my car. He turned off the car and I got out. More than ready to get to my own room and down another box of tissues, as had been my agenda for the past few weeks. I blamed being pregnant.

"Hey,” Tre` smiled when I got around to him and he embraced me in a hug, "It'll be okay. I promise,” I just nodded, not hugging back, and got into my own car after ending the embrace.

I gunned the engine before shooting off back towards my own home-or rather house. There was nothing there to call a home anymore. Neither Apollo nor Gerard were there. I was barely there myself. Mikey was the only whole person there. He pretty much had the house to himself.

I pulled up the immense driveway and parked in my usual spot, by the front door. I was tired, angry, frustrated, and sober (which was the way I was gonna stay for the next eight months of hell). There was no other car in the driveway so I assumed Mikey wasn't around, which was just as well because as soon I got into the door I lost it. I crumpled into a ball and started bawling.

Amidst the tears I felt someone help me off the floor and I guessed Mikey had leant out his car for the day, or parked it down the street. He helped me over the couch, the emotional wreck.

"Shhhhh… Shhhhhh… Torrie. It's okay. Everything's okay,” That's when I really knew I was losing it. I was beginning to become so desperate I was turning Mikey's voice into Gerard's.

"You don't know that. All this shit happens and happens and never stops. It will never stop,” I choked through tears.

"Torrie. It'll be okay. I promise,” Mikey told me confidently.

Wow, haven't heard that one before.

"It's just- I can't deal with this anymore,” I struggled as a fresh batch of tears came. I realized I hadn't really cried in years. Like bawled to the point I couldn't control it anymore. I'd forgotten how good it felt to get it all out.

"Look at me,” Mikey commanded and I did just that, but instead of looking into his eyes I looked into the scared face of-no. It was just my imagination.

"Gee?" I asked quietly, my tears still streaming, but I put a hand to his face which he grasped and held close to his clearly unshaven cheek.

"Yeah, baby. It's me. Who else would it be?" He grinned before kissing me.