Forever & Always

March
After he left I didn’t do hardly anything. I waited the whole month for him to text me and I never got one. I tired calling and texting him but he never answered to anything. Kevin and Nick on the other hand called me and texted me everyday, they wouldn’t talk about Joe though. When I talked to Mazz, she was just as upset Nick told her he loved her then never called or texted her either. So we spent the whole month eating ice cream and crying over them.

April
Brian made me and Mazz get out of our depression and took us to some parties. I didn’t get much time to worry about Joe or wait by my phone. Mike had me out promoting my new album and singing at places all over LA. I was running all over the place signing things and doing all kinds of talk shows, when ever I would go on a talk show they would ask about my love life and it would bring back all the old memories. My answer was always that I was waiting for someone. By the end of April Mazz was done with Nick and had forgot about him, I on the other hand always had Joe in the back of my mind. Also I got a job doing some acting for Gossip Girl and of course Mazz came with me. She said it was time we found new boys.

May
I was in New York filming Gossip Girl; I was playing Nate’s new love Katelyn. I liked working on a TV show it was a lot of fun, but I think it was more fun for Mazz. Mazz had gotten past Nick pretty fast and moved onto Chace Crawford, I was happy for her. When they showed up in the papers my phone went crazy and Nick asked me if Mazz was seeing someone, I wouldn’t tell him anything about Mazz because he wouldn’t tell me anything about Joe. Lest to say I went down to only talking to Kevin. Kevin updated me on his love life a lot he had found two girls he really liked. Sage and Angela. One night near the end of May Mazz and Chace decided we should go to this new club opening in New York, so I went with them. They set me up with Ed Westwick, he was cute and fun to be around but I didn’t like him like that. I couldn’t let go of Joe no matter how much I wanted to. Back to the club though, while we were there everyone had something to drink, me more then others because I was trying to drown my sorrows. After a while I couldn’t even think I was so drunk I don’t even remember the night truly all I know was the next morning I woke up in someone’s bed. When my head stopped ringing Ed came in and explained I was drunk and we had kissed twice and he wanted to get me back to the hotel but Mazz and Chace had it for the night so he took me back to his apartment. He swore we never spelt together and I believed him, I woke up with all my clothes on. Although I didn’t plan for it when I tired sneaking out there was a ton of paparazzi taking pictures of me leaving the room. I got a ton of calls asking what happened with me and Ed that day after I ended up on Perez. When I looked at everything I never hated myself more then I did that moment I knew Joe wasn’t talking to me at all but I felt like I let him down, I knew I broke my promise when I kissed Ed.

June
I slipped back into my depression and ended up cutting my Gossip Girl time short because it was hard to see Ed it reminded me of Joe. Mazz also returned with me and Chace of course followed her. For the next month I did nothing but stay in Lola’s apartment.