Inside That Cave You Call a Chest

The day I was born my dad and my uncle were in the middle of a concert, playing in front of hundred of people with their band, saving their lives. When my mother realized she was in labor, she called the manager of my dad's band as soon as she could. My dad stopped the concert, leaving his fans disappointed, trying to explain his first baby boy was going to see the light of the day for the very first time. He was going to become a father in minutes.

My mother arrived to the hospital in a cab by herself, doing the best she could to manage the stress and the pain. My dad and the rest of the band arrived twenty minutes later, my father running without asking the nurses or the doctors, looking for my mother.

He found her just in time, and he was able to be a part of my birth.

I was born at 2:30am on a Friday, I was named Jeremy Michael.

My dad told me the day I was born was the happiest day of his life. He told me the first time he saw me he couldn't believe he became a father. He told me I looked exactly like my uncle when he was a baby...

The night I was born the stars were twinkling in the sky, and when all my dad's friends and band mates saw me for the very first time, even a few tears escaped from their eyes. Especially from my dad's best friend who couldn't stop crying. He was so happy my grandma told me once.

Everybody was happy, everybody, except my mother. She never really cared for me, and sometimes I think she despised me.

My uncle told me once that she only got pregnant because my dad wanted a child before he was too old to be a father. She wasn't mean to me, at least I don't remember her being mean, but she had better things to do instead.

I wasn't a priority in her life.

Women are supposed to love their child from the womb. But I think my mother never developed that kind of instinct, not after she held me in her arms, not after my first birthday, and not after she run away from my life ten years ago.

She never really loved me. I guess my uncle was right when he said she only got pregnant for my dad's happiness. I was mistake. Even though my dad constantly repeated that I wasn't. I knew it, I've always knew I wasn't supposed to exist, especially when I became a total weirdo.

Who cares anyway? Uncle Mikey always says he and my dad were freaks in high school.
Even my godfather was one too, he told me the story how he met aunt Jamia and how he thought she was never going to fall for him because he was short and all the jocks used to shove him inside the lockers.

Jocks shove me on lockers too. They say I deserve it for being a faggot, for being the son of a rock star and not being masculine.

When I asked my dad what a faggot was he just laughed and asked me who said it and why. After I explained everything to him, he just smiled and said "faggots are people like us, we don't give a fuck what other people think Jeremy." and I couldn't help but smile.

My dad was the best, he didn't care what other people thought about him. He didn't care that people were creating rumors about why he divorced my mother, he only cared about his family. Most importantly he cared about me.

I miss my dad. I wish I could see him again, I wish I could spend time with him like we used to. I wish I could hear his advices, his voice singing when I had to go to bed.
I know, I'm too old for that kind of thing now, but when I was younger nothing else helped me sleep better than my dad's voice.

His voice was beautiful, he was the leader singer of My Chemical Romance. Gerard Way.