Harsh Addiction

( present ) When I saw that house, and saw the people standing outside, and heard the music buzz in my ears, my friends eyes got exicted, something inside me was screaming for me to stay in the car and ask someone to take me home.

( past )
I didn't fully understand why I was acting like I was, this wasn't my first party, but for some reason, my palms were seating as I reached for the door handle. I took in a big gulp. Something about this house rubbed me the wrong way. Everyone there looked like they were having fun, the music was blaring, and lights were going on and off and there were people standing in and out of the house. I forced myself out of the car once I noticed I was the only one sitting half way out of the car, looking at this big house. I stood beside Emma, and lit a cigarette. She had the biggest smile on her face.
"Oh gosh, this is going to be fun! Don't you think so, Anne?" She turned her face towards me, and she was almost jumping out of her skin with so much happiness and joy.
"Emma, Emma, Emma. You got to calm down and relax. You don't want these people to think you're fresh meat, eh?" I took a drag of my cigarette, and looked forward, still not moving towards the house.
"Shit." I heard Lisa say. I inhaled the cigarette once again.
"What?" I said, the smoke from my last puff of cigarette came out when I spoke. I was playing it cool. Like I didn't care about anything...like parties were something I was so used to ; like I met new people everynight.
"I left my cell phone in the car."
"Not like the car is twenty miles away, no need to get worked up." Another hit in my lungs. I almost forgot I was talking to Emma, and has just confused the hell out of her.
" I don't understand, play it cool?" she asked, her eye brows pulled together. I let the cigarette rest between my lips, and I put my hands on her sholders.
"Just don't act like everything is all peaches and you'll be-" Lisa pulled me.
"Come on," she laughed. I had no other choice but to follow her. As we were walking up the walkway, I saw tons and tons of beer cans, just thrown about on the wet grass, and manys of coolers filled with beer. Cans and bottless. As I looked around, there was about five or six people out infront of the lawn, all males. They weren't bad looking, at all. Suddnely, they were all starring at us. Simply because, we had tits. They all went goo goo ga ga eyed. I smiled my nervous smile as one approached us and when Lisa went to him and threw her arms around him.
"VINCE!" she screamed and hugged him,
"Hey, Lease" He hugged her back, but he was looking at Emma. I cought that, and as soon as he saw me looking at him admiring my friend, he smiled. Lisa finally let go but kept her arm around him and walked over to us.
"Guys, this is Vince. " He looked at all of us.
"..We can tell by the big shriek, "OH VINCE!" " Natalie said, joking.
Lisa smiled and laughed. "Thats Jay, the dyke" she was still smiling, and now, so was Vince.
Jay touched her heart. "Thanks, babe." She joked.
"Well maybe we can change that tonight. " Vince spoke, his voice was low, and husky. Someone Jat could get along with. He reached down and grabbed a beer can and threw it to Jay. Jay cought it with one hand.
"Don't hold your breathe bud." She opened the beer and chugged some of it and put her hand in her pocket and pulled out a cigarette, and lit it and just chilled there. I took another hit of my cigarette as Lisa went on.
"Thats Emma, " Lisa pointed at Emma and looked at Vince, which was already looking at her, and smiling, once again. "She's single. And this lovely, " She danced over to me and kissed me again "Is Anne." she said my name with a smile in her voice.
"Welcome girls." he reached down again and this time grabbed three beers, and threw them to me and Lisa. He took the time and walked over to Emma to give her hers. She was blushing so much.
"Thank you," she mumbled. "thats was very sweet of you." After that I turned away and stopped looking at them. My eyes looked at the house, and my stomach turned, no way I'm going in there. So my eyes grazed across the lawn, and I saw a log. Since I wasn't going inside, I might as well sit there, so my feet drug across the lawn, and my made peace with the log. The beer can got colder and colder in my hands as I turned it roung and around between my fingers.
"Fuck it." I mumbled as I opened the beer can and took a sip of it. "Enjoy yourself, Anne." I took a cigarette out of the box in my pocket and I pulled it to my lips and lit it and inhaled a big puff of smoke, and closed my eyes.
I remember when I first met Timmy..my ex boyfriend. I was at a party with the girls, and he was standing across the room from me, smiling at me the whole night. He smoked cigarette after cigarette, and he was perfect. I had a lust for him, him with his long firty brown hair, and his one tattoo on his wrist, smoking a cigarette and drinking beer with those perfect lips. He finally walked up to me and said Hi to me, and after that--
No. I couldn't do this to myself. I stook my head and took another puff of my cigarette and took a chug of my beer.
"Bullshit" I said to myself, and opened my eyes just in time to see a nervous guy walked over to me, his hands in his pockets.
"Hi." His voice was low, but high at the same time, it was adorable. I smiled and waved, his smile was good. He had straight teeth.
"You were sitting here all alone, and your friend, " he patted the back of his head with his hand and took a breathe "told me to come over here and talk to you, and let you met some of the guys."
I nodded my head and kinda of smiled, holding onto my beer and taking another sip of it, playing it cool. "She did, did she?" I looked at Lisa and took another puff of my cigarette.
"Yeah, but if thats not cool with you, it would be totally cool for me to leave, like no problem, it'll be cool." I could tell he was nervous, he used to the word "cool" about three times in that sentence. I laughed and closed my eyes.
"It's fine." I think I said that a little bit to loud, but you could tell he was listening to me, because without a second thought to it, he sat next to me on that log, it felt twice as small now.
"I'm Austin" he extended his hand, and then pointed to the guy that was talking to Emma "Vince," and then a new guy standing by himself by another cooler "Todd," and then he pointed somewhere different but these guys were all standing together, and Lisa and Natalie were standing by them, mingling, talking..laughing.. "Mike, Bobby, Curtis, and Jordan."
"I hope you know I won't remember these peoples names, at all." I laughed a little bit as I looked at him, but for some reason I couldn't meet his eyes.
"Well, you haven't been around us for a long time, it'll take some getting used to. And your name?"
"Anne."
He smile and he starred at me. "Hi, Anne"
I waved once again and smiled and took another sip of my beer, and kept smoking my cigarette. He pointed at my cigarette. "Nasty habbit, eh?"
"Huh, what?" I looked down at his hand "Oh, yeah..very. But it's sticking with me. I didn't ask you to like it, haha."
"Yeah, I'm not for cancer, not me man..." he paused "So can I bum one of you?"
I laughed, a real laugh. I haven't had one of those in such a long time. I took my cigarettes out and gave him one. As I was handing him one, the song changed and "Funky Cold Medina" came on, and I smiled.
"What are you smiling at?" He asked as he lit the cigarette.
"Nothing, ahaha Just, the song."
His head snapped up to the house and started nodding his hand.
"Uh, funky cold medina!" he got up and started dancing like an idiot, and I covered my mouth from the laugh. I gave up on fighting it and I just laughed, after a little bit he grabbed my hands and made me get up and started dancing with me.
"Oh no, I don't dance" I said between laughs.
"Ah come on, everyone can dance, just gotta feel the beat in your soul" he said sacrasticly.
"You're a trip." I smiled big at him and looked at his eyes, and he laughed once more and sat back down and handed me my beer back.
"Beautiful laugh." He didn't let my gaze go.
"Thank you." I made my smie fade as I looked away from him, sipping on my beer taking a sit next to him and looking around the party. The song changed and our conversation died.
"So, how old are you? " He said, finally.
"I'm the big eight teen."
"Legal, got cha." he winked at me and smiled, and I laughed. "Status?"
I leaned my elbows on my knees and sat forward and took a chug of my beer.
"Getting my dyke to kill all males, thats my status." I looked back at him and he put his two hands up as to say, ' I'm backing off. ' I smiled.
"And why's that? " he smiled.
"I was into this one guy, " taking another sip of my beer. "got pretty serious with him, and then.." i hit my hands on the beer can and just closed my eyes. "i dont know what happened, exactly. He didn't love me anymore, I suppose. Went around telling everyone things."
"like what?" he seemed interested.
I looked surprised, "You really wanna know?"
He took a sip of his own beer, and looked at me. "Of course."
"I have this, hm, problem."
He bumped my shoulder with his arm and smiled, "Come onnn, tell me" he smiled brighter.
"I have an addiction, and he told everyone I was addicted to sex. " It sounded silly coming out of my mouth.
His eyes got bigger, and he smiled with his mouth closed and looked ahead at the house, and took another sip of his beer and a hit of his cigarette, "well are you?"
Something inside me smiled, so I slid closer to him on the little log, making us closer and I flicked my cigarette and put my hand on his knee, almost whipsering in his ear.
"Most deffinatly. It's actually quite hard to go days and days without it."
Austin tensed up and his mouth opened and he got up, studdering, he said "Well, my beer is getting low, and uh.. wow..is yours?" I smiled and laughed as he shook his head " Well, I'll go get you one anyway. I..I'll be right back. " and he walked off, slowly with his hands in his pockets. I smiled and look dow, taking the last chug of my beer and putting it by my feet, looking up just in time to see Jay walking by me, with a smile on her face. She sat next to me.
"Hey, babe."
"Hey." I said with a smile.
"How's the night going for you?"
"Good, so far. Yours?"
"Well, good. I found out why that kid Vince was in jail, killed someone, " she laughed and looked at me. " We're going to be great friends."
I smiled and looked at the people sitting there with my girl friends. "Vince into Emma?"
"Oh, yeah deffiantly."
"And Lisa?"
"All the guys there are drooling over her, but that kid Todd..little fuck..is trying to get with her. Lisa 'aint exactly stoppin it."
I smiled and looked at Jay. "What about you?"
"Eh, I'm doing pretty good. "
"Any girls you see in here you like?"
She looked around, and took a sip of her beer. "Only one." with that she closed her eyes and kissed my forehead, just then Austin was coming back.
"Aye, dude." Jay said as she nodded her head and got up, looking back at me. "Be good, honey." I smiled at her, " I will " and I looked at Austin and he stook Jay's hand like she was a real male, it made me laugh inside (:

NOT DONE.