Secrets Don't Make Friends

Cars sped by on the slick roads next to October as she shuffled down the sidewalk on her journey to school, clutching her books tightly to her chest. Around her, the bitter November wind nipped at her exposed skin, drying and cracking it on contact. The building of Barrington High loomed closer and October slowed her pace, almost afraid to step onto the grounds.

Taking a deep breath, she clutched her books tighter to her chest and walked briskly across the schoolyard, making to the front entrance in record time. Behind her snickering whispers floated around; she was used to it by now, but sometimes the words still stung. Another deep breath and she trekked through the hallways, opening her locker purposefully.

The first thing she saw was Audrina, her best friend, staring at her with a wide smile. The picture still hung in the locker and that was what helped her get through every day. She pulled her biology book out and stuffed her math binder at the top, she slammed the locker shut and forced herself down the hallway to homeroom. Even so early in the morning several students huddled in the back corner, looking up as October stepped into the room.

October groaned inwardly as she realized who was here this early in the morning: Jason Marks, the leading star on Barrington’s baseball team and her ex-boyfriend. Biting her lip she sat in the seat directly opposite from him, facing the board resolutely. Snickers and whispers from Jason and his friends floated their way to her ears and she slid down in her seat, trying her hardest to block out the noise.

Suddenly, Jason’s face appeared in front of October, blocking her continuous stare at the board. An evil sneer was placed upon his lips. Before their break-up, October had always known Jason to be a kind, light-hearted person. He never had a bad thing to say about anyone and was polite to everyone he met. But the farther they got in their relationship, the more Jason’s true colors would show.

October bit her lip, staring into Jason's eyes. There was something there, behind the malice, that she couldn't place; sympathy? pity, maybe? She shook her head. She knew Jason would never feel sorry for her; he made sure she remembered everyday. And even though he was the only one who knew, he never told a soul. It always confused October as to why he never told, but she never questioned him. She was grateful his mouth was sealed and she wanted to keep it that way.

Jason leaned closer on her desk, getting so close that October could feel his breath blow across her face. She pursed her lips and broke eye contact, staring ahead at the board behind him with tight eyes. She knew what he was going to say. Bracing for the blow, October took a deep breath as he leaned in to her ear.

"God doesn't appreciate your deed, Tobey. He doesn't forgive such acts of sin."

A sharp intake of breath into her lungs and a sting of hears in her eyes. Jason pulled away satisfied that his words did their job. October silently scolded herself for showing any signs of weakness. A smug smirk slid across his lips as he walked back to the other side of the room.

Every morning Jason would say the same two sentences just to see the reaction she would have from them. Every time her eyes stung and she felt defenseless; like an innocent mouse trapped by the hungry cat. But instead of finishing her off quickly, he cornered her and kept her there, taking a swipe or snap occasionally.

The bell for final homeroom rang and the late arrivals filed into the classroom, filling up the empty space. Jason took one last look at October before the teacher began to call attendance.

Sitting atop the football bleachers October looked out on Barrington's student body, dangling her feet over the edge. It was a fairly predictable and normal lunch period as Amber Lane sat next to Josie Parker, mouths moving at top speed about the latest scandal. Braniac McGee, or better known as Brian Chase, sat under the big oak tree with his calculator and math book laid out in front of him. From what October could see, it was a normal day.

The cafeteria doors opened out into the courtyard and a tall, fairly lanky boy stepped out. He was balancing his lunch tray with one arm while the other was shoved in his jeans pocket. His eyes scanned the courtyard and found what he was looking for. Jason Siska and Mike Carden, Barrington's baseball and musical talent, waving him over to sit.

The boy was starting to intrigue October for she was almost one hundred percent sure she had never seen him before. October ran through the list of students in her head but she couldn't place a name to the face. October watched the boy closely, paying close attention to the way he interacted with Mike and Jason.

He sat down next to Jason facing the bleachers. A soft, polite smile appeared on his lips as the boys began to talk to him. The longer he sat there, October observed, the more comfortable he seemed to be. October noted that he wasn't much of a conversationalist. Every now and then he would say something, but it was very brief and didn't look to hold much enthusiasm. She could tell that he was more of a listener by the way he would focus all of his attention on Jason, or Mike, while they talked, drinking up every word that poured from the boys' mouths.

October leaned up against the bar of the bleacher and watching him still. As Jason began speaking the new boys attention was diverted as his eyes scanned the courtyard. October saw him squint, searching for something unknown. Suddenly, his eyes slid up to the bleachers, landing and locking in on Octobers curious gaze.

Feeling embarrassed, October's cheeks flared red but she didn't look away. Keeping his stare steady, he leaned in to Jason. Jason and Mike both looked up at the bleachers. October assumed he was asking the boys who she was and suddenly felt grateful for have been friendly to the pair the year before.

The lunch bell rang signaling the end of lunch and snapping the gaze of October and the boy. Gathering her book bag from next to her and began her trek to Honors English.