Secrets Don't Make Friends

Although he tried to come off as confident and nonchalant, inside, William’s nerves were spiked and he swore he felt his heart palpitate when October’s mother answered the door. She was a short, thin woman with long black hair and a round face. A button nose above a set full lips held no similarity to October, but he could see that she got her large, round eyes from her mom.

He stammered a small hello as Maria smiled widely and greeted him warmly. Maria’s gracious welcome instantly calmed William down, knowing he wouldn’t have to worry about an over-critical mother. But he couldn’t say so much about an over-protective father. Stepping carefully into the house, he followed Maria to the kitchen where he saw October facing the stove. A smile appeared on his face as he said her name lightly watching her stiffen and turn around awkwardly.

Her pale face was alive with a wild blush that made her mother giggle to herself before suggesting the two go upstairs. William felt his body warm at the suggestion and was more than surprised when October grabbed his hand, pulling him away from the kitchen. He glanced around the house, noting all of the pictures of Maria and October. Above the mantle were several pictures of October as a child; sitting on Santa’s lap, hugging the Easter bunny, watching the fireworks, dressed up as a spider-witch.

They quickly walked up the stairs, leaving behind the pictures of childhood memories. When October ushered William into her room, he felt as if he stepped into a whole different world. Posters of bands, landscapes and still-life decorated October’s bedroom walls. Photographs of October and Audrina, wildlife animals and city people littered her mirror and desk. A large camera sat alone on the top shelf of the desk, completely untouched while dust collected in layers.

October let go of William’s hand and she shuffled to her bed, settling herself in the middle of the mattress, watching William look at her stuff. He leaned over, examining her mirror, trying to not think of her stare on the side of his face. The air thickened with a tension that William knew only he felt. He decided to break the ice with a simple question, wanting to make the tension disappear.

“These are really good, did you take them?” he asked, pointing to the collage of pictures on her mirror.

October nodded, explaining about her project and aspiring photographer dream. He noticed her voice dropped considerably when she mentioned not doing the project this year, and even though he knew something was wrong, he wanted to understand why. The way October looked down at her hands, or the way the sad, fearful look crossed her eyes when she mentioned it.

It was times like these, times like the pizzeria and times like when October got really quite was when William’s interest in her peaked. He wanted to understand her pain, to help her through it and her help her feel better. He hated seeing the look of pain and suffering that crossed her features each time he said the wrong words, or each time he took her to the wrong place; her reaction and expression made his chest tighten with guilt, and the need to comfort her grew.

He dropped the subject when she didn’t further explain, but he knew that one day he would understand everything; one day, he vowed, he would learn the ins and outs of October Lanley. William knew that there was a lot October was hiding, and he respected that. If she didn’t want to talk about it, he would leave it alone for another time, hopefully at a time where she would be willing to open up to him.

October fidgeted nervously on her bed, bouncing her leg wildly in anticipation. He could feel the waves of discomfort roll off her, but he didn’t know how to alleviate the tension. Just faintly he could hear the footsteps of October’s mother climb the stairs and stop at the door before she poked her head through, grabbing both of their attention. As she asked for desert, he saw October shift uncomfortably and then jump excitedly when her mother asked them to come downstairs.

He followed the two women into the kitchen where he was handed a few silverware and plates to set on the table. October led him to the small, four-seater table and began setting up the table. October sat down in her seat once she was done, and William followed, taking the place across from her. Only moments later Maria walked out of the kitchen carrying a steaming bowl of mashed potatoes and pork chops balanced in the other hand.

Passing around the food and side dishes, Maria looked between October and William, a faint smile on her lips. The last time she had October invite a boy over was when she was dating Jason, and if Maria was being honest she didn’t like that boy one bit. Being a mother and having her fair share of boys, she could see right through the cute, happy façade that Jason put on for Maria. Although Maria had wanted October to be happy, she openly expressed her dislike for the boy.

But this time, as she looked between the two teenagers sitting in her dining room, she felt more content and at ease with William than she had with Jason. From the awkward hello to the light stammer of his speech Maria was given more than enough trust that William was a genuine boy. As she handed William the mashed potatoes, she decided that now was a good time to start asking the questions she had been itching to ask from the moment October mentioned a whisper about the boy.

“So William, how old are you?” Maria started with the basic questions.

“I’ll be turning eighteen in February,” he answered, trying his best to sound confident. Maria smiled at his attempt.

“That’s nice! Do you have any siblings?”

He nodded, swallowing hard. “I have a younger sister and brother.”

“Oh, that must be fun!”

William shrugged, then cringed at the too-casual act. “It’s alright. They can get annoying, but at least you know you’re never bored.”

Maria nodded, jumping into a story about living with five younger siblings, and being the oldest. William nodded, and ‘hm-ed’ at the right moments. He could sympathize (somewhat) with Maria, but he wasn’t as interested in her story about her childhood as he was trying not to think about why October’s dad wasn’t sitting at the end of the table, staring hard at him.

He wanted to ask about her father, but he didn’t want to seem rude. He never heard October mention her dad, only her mom. But in the wake of Maria’s silence, William could help himself, and the question slipped venomously off his tongue.

“W-will October’s dad b-be joining us?”

The moment he spoke the words, he wished he hadn’t. The air in the room stiffened considerably. October looked as if she had seen a ghost and William bit his lip to the point it bled. Maria looked down at her plate then up at William with a hard expressing, not directed at him.

“No, he won’t.” Her voice was stiff.

William looked down at his plate and muttered an apology over again, wringing his hands nervously. The hard look that crossed Maria’s face softened significantly at William’s apprehension. Carefully she reached over, rubbing William’s arm lightly trying to reassure him.

“William, honey, don’t be sorry. You did nothing wrong, you asked a simple question.”

William nodded, but still felt the guilt knot tightly in his gut. He tried to break it and keep it down, but it rose steadily burning the back of his throat. Even after Maria’s consoling, the tension lingered thick and October excused herself, pushing away from the table to walk upstairs. Looking around nervously, William cleared his throat and bounced his leg before Maria addressed him.

“William, I think you should go upstairs and talk to October…” she said quietly. Very slowly she looked William in the eye and held his gaze. “And don’t be sorry for anything; you didn’t know.”