If Only Love Was That Simple

Part 4 – Demy’s P.O.V.

I spent the rest of the night hanging out with Maggie and John, learning some pretty interesting and somewhat embarrassing stories about them both. For one, John had crushed on Maggie for the first month he knew her until Maggie had enough of trying to be nice about it…and rejected him in front of their whole math class.

It surprised me that John had forgiven her but once I saw how close friends they we’re, I realized not much was going to tear them apart.

I also found out that Maggie had learned she was gay while playing a game of spin the bottle when she was 12, and realized she only wanted to kiss the girls. This made me laugh for some ironic reason, because something similar had caused me to become confused about my sexuality. Only for Maggie it was a long time ago, for me, only a couple of years.

After the party was over Maggie walked me back to grandma’s house, in a strange but comforting silence. I wasn’t sure what to say to her, but I did know that I wanted to see her again. “Maggie” I started when we we’re turning up the hidden driveway to grandma’s. She looked at me, slowing her pace a little.

I took a breath and kept going, “when you told you’re parents you we’re a lesbian, what did they say?” I asked looking anywhere but at her. I felt her gaze on me as she answered, “well, mom was happy that I trusted them enough to come out to them, but my father, well, he wouldn’t talk to me for months. He wasn’t accepting of the fact that his “baby” didn’t like boys” she said, and I could hear the sadness in her tone, “he’s still not happy with it. He only talks to me to shout at me for something I did wrong.” she finished, pain dripping from her voice.

Without thinking I stopped, wheeled around and hugged her tight. I felt her slowly wrap her arms around me. I rested my chin on her shoulder and whispered “I’m so sorry Maggie; I can’t imagine how that must have felt for you”.

Pulling back, I saw a single tear running down her cheek so I reached up and wiped it away. “Maggie, you’re father needs to understand that if you’re happy, he should be happy too, so cheer up!”. She nodded and dropped her arms back to her side, giving me a small smile. “That’s better, now about our deal. I danced with you, so when are you going to show me around?” I said attempting to brighten up our conversation.

“Hmm… how about tomorrow?” she asked almost sounding hopeful. I smiled, “yeah sure, sounds good. What time?” I asked trying not to sound to eager to see her again.

“I don’t have work tomorrow, so I’ll pop up at around 11 so then maybe we can have a picnic for lunch?” she suggested and started to walk slowly up the drive way again. A picnic? This was starting to sound like a date, but there was no way she was into me. Besides, she thinks I’m straight anyways, she wouldn’t hit on me.

“Yeah, sounds good!” I said as we got to the front step. We stood there awkwardly for a few moments until Maggie spoke up, “Well I better be getting home, long day tomorrow” she said grinning. I grinned back, “god only knows what you’re planning” I said with a laugh, “but yeah, I guess I’ll see you tomorrow then”. She smiled, “yeah, see ya later Demy” and then she was down over the steps and cut off through a path in the woods.

I smiled to myself, and opened to the door leading into the living room. I glanced at the clock on the wall, 12:38, nice. Grandma must have been gone to bed by now, because all the lights we’re off except for the one in the hall. I walked over to grandma’s room and saw her sleeping figure curled into a ball on the left side of the bed, the right side still neat and tidy like it was the night grandfather died.

She had never gotten over his death completely; I guess that’s why she is as reluctant as she is to start seeing Mr. White. No matter how much pleading any of us do with her, she was firm on her belief, that it would be a dishonor to start seeing someone else after granddaddy passed.

Shaking my head a little I walked across the hall to what has always been my room since I was a little girl and I would come up to see grandma and grandpa in the summers. It was a cozy little room, the walls a faded yellow, with what appeared to be new white curtains. The floor was hardwood, a little scratched in places where I had had my clumsy moments.

Scooting across the floor to my bed, I lay down and thought about tomorrow. Maybe I was just imagining it, but through out the whole night, when ever I looked at Maggie, it seemed she was checking me out. Now, that’s probably just my overactive imagination working its magic, but I can’t help but think…what if.

Sighing I changed into my Pajamas and fell asleep into a dreamless state as I did every night.

The next morning I was up by 9, a little disoriented but psyched for the day’s events. I got dressed in my fitting jeans, and a new red and white striped tank top I bought shortly before moving here. Mom had always said that red was a nice color on me… she would have loved this shirt. I tried to block the painful memories from overwhelming me, and set on enjoying the day.

I walked out of my room, peeking into the kitchen too see where grandma was to tell her where I was going. “Grandma?” I called, noticing she wasn’t in the kitchen or living room as I had just passed by it and there was no sign of her. Backtracking down the hall, I peeped into her bedroom checking to see if maybe she was still sleeping, but no. she was sitting in her rocking chair facing the window. I could see a photo album open on her lap, and her shoulders we’re heaving slightly.

“Grandma..?” I asked softly, walking slowly towards her. She beaconed me to come over, so I did as I was told not sure what to expect.

The first thing I saw on the page was a picture of her and grandpa a year before he passed. They both looked so happy, it made me sad to think that they we’re apart now. Though the last picture made me sad, it was the next picture that sent the waves of pain through my body. It was a picture of me, dad, and mom when we visited when I was 14. We all looked so happy; little did we know that was all going to change in a couple of months.

As my thoughts progressed so did the tears running down my cheeks, “I miss them so much…” I whispered staring down at their smiling faces, wishing they we’re still on this earth for me to run too when I’m scared. Grandma nodded and wrapped her arm around my shoulders, “I know darling, we all miss them, but at least we still have you right?” she said with a small smile.

I tried to smile back, but couldn’t help thinking about the few months after that drunk driver hit our car on the way back from midnight mass Christmas Eve. I was 14 and really didn’t want to have to go to a stupid church gathering, so naturally I was pissed off at them for forcing me. Little did I know what was going to happen and that that was going to be the last argument we ever had.

I was sitting in the backseat with my ipod turned on blast to block out the never ending string of Christmas songs being played on the radio, so I never heard the swerve of car tires right before it hit us. The only thing I heard over all the wreck was mom’s high pitch scream of terror. Then it stopped.

Mom had died on impact. Dad died a couple of hours later when they we’re performing surgery to repair his collapsed rib cage and cracked skull. At that point I was being treated for a broken rib and wrist and had no clue what was going on. The only thing I knew at that point was that mom was dead and dad was severely damaged. What I don’t understand to this day is that I never once cried until 2 weeks later at their funeral. That’s when the hysterics started.

Grandma had come down to say her respects and offered for me to come live with her. I had declined the offer then, wishing so bad I hadn’t now. I went into foster care for 2 years, until all the families couldn’t deal with a depressed teen and sent me back to the agencies. I think they gave up on me when they sent me to a lady who had 5 other foster children all into hard drugs. That was the breaking point for me; I had to get out of there, so I tried.

I took a knife from the kitchen, walked to the bathroom and shut the door. If I could go back now I would have made sure the door was locked, because only seconds after the blood began pouring out of my wrists, the eldest of the druggies walked in and screamed. She immediately ran and called 911. They picked me up and rushed me to the hospital, officially diagnosing me with depression and that’s when grandma got called.

That’s also how I ended up here, not that I really mind now. For the first few days I wouldn’t even come out of my room, I just wanted to mope. It was only a few days ago actually when I decided there was no point fighting it I might as well get used to this.

So that’s why I went to the store yesterday, to get new things for my new life, which so far seems to be going alright. At this thought, I got pulled back into the present and remember what was going on today. “Grandma, someone offered to give me a look around town, so I’m gong to be off soon. Is there anything you need to be done first?” I asked politely, as I always did with grandma.

“No sweetheart, you go on, I’ll see you when you come home” she said and kissed my cheek, turning back to the photo album.

I nodded and walked out of the room, grabbing my sweatshirt off the hook by the door and heading outside into the fresh morning air. It wasn’t warm out and it wasn’t cold either, but for some reason when I saw Maggie walking up the driveway I got goosebumps all over my body.

Ignoring this sign I walked down the steps and walked towards her, noticing that sly little smile she had on last night when she was teasing me. It was kind of sexy. Oh boy, this was going to be a long day.