House of Jealous Lovers

Two more days passed where I just constantly secluded myself from the group. I stopped caring about the days and the time. It was just one big waste of time to think about anymore. I wasn't working anytime soon so there was no point in even trying to figure things out how to carry on normally. All I wanted to do was be left alone to find some kind of peace in my room while I worked things out, hoping that my heart would swiftly heal.

Danni had tried to coax me into telling her what was really wrong but I still refused. I wasn't all the way together yet so there would be no point in telling her if I was just going to fall apart in front of her. I hated showing how weak I was. I hated that I was so miserable and unable to function because of a stupid boy. No boy was worth this kind of misery yet I couldn't snap myself out of it. When people asked me what was wrong, I would lie and tell them nothing. People continued to as what happened to cause me to become such a recluse and my answer always remained the same: go ask Jimmy. Danni told me that he refused to talk about it as well and that she was going insane with trying to figure it out. I told her there wasn't much to worry about. Things would get better eventually and then I would talk.

She had recruited the rest of the boys as well as Val and Sas to try and get me to talk but the only person I would talk to without everyone else knowing was Jason. He was the one that knew the whole story. He wasn't too biased in conversation, though he was also talking to Jimmy. He tried to convince me that I needed to speak to him but I wasn't giving in that quickly. I couldn't handle that emotional torment on my soul. He also tried to convince me that I needed to talk to someone other than him about what had happened but I refused. I realized now that I was starting to become more of a problem to everyone else and I hated it.

It was Wednesday with one more week to go until Avenged performed in Los Angeles for that show of theirs. Matt kept complaining that they sounded terrible these days because Jimmy wasn't drumming right and Zacky was messing up as well. No one seemed capable of performing their own songs and it made me feel bad. I hated that they couldn't concentrate on the one passion they had. It made me wonder what was going on with the group. They very well couldn't perform in the current state they were in.

Currently, I was stuck at Danni's parents' home for Danni and Johnny's engagement party. Johnny had set everything up with the families ages ago, since he already knew that Danni would agree to marry him so tonight, we were just having drinks with the families and friends before we went out afterwards for our own celebration. They decided to throw the engagement party early, though the wedding was a ways away.

There were a bunch of people milling around the spacious home, most of them dressed nicely for the party. Danni forced me to get a cocktail dress for the parties so I made my fashion coordinator, Randy, go with me. I knew nothing about shopping for dresses but he did so he was more than willing to help. There was just something about effeminate gay men that loved shopping for dresses.

The dress he wound up picking was a short purple chiffon halter dress that came just above my knees. It clung nicely against my upper body, bringing some attention to my cleavage while it hung loosely down from my waist. The top of the dress was hemmed with a black ribbon that tied around my neck, adding the accent color I needed to wear the black heels I had picked. I kept things simple since dresses usually made me uncomfortable. It was a lot better than the hideous pink dress he tried to force on me.

The good thing about this party was that it was a large gathering with too many people to get lost in. I had been able to slip away from my friends, excusing myself to get more alcohol or to talk to some of the family in order to grab some alone time. Everyone had showed with the exception of Jimmy, which I was thankful for. According to Matt Berry, he was running late for one reason or another. I had a feeling that maybe that had something to do with me but I didn't want to sound full of myself. I was just glad that I didn't have to see him yet. I wouldn't have been able to stand the sight of him wrapped around Morgan. I needed some liquid courage before I could deal with that sight.

Zacky had been avoiding me this evening as well, which was alright with me. Things between the two of us were unexplainable. I wasn't sure what to make of the situation. He was quieter than usual in our conversations and always watching me. There seemed to be some kind of change in the way he was around me and I didn't know what to think. I had discussed it with Randy while we were shopping and he was under the impression that Zacky wanted to 'tap my fine ass' as he so eloquently put it. I just dismissed the thought and just filed the misplacement of his emotions as concern for me as a friend.

I near the back wall of the living room, watching Johnny and Danni with a small smile on my face as they talked with different family members. Danni's long black hair fell over her shoulders in perfect loose curls as she fiddled with her new dress. It was a short, strapless, red satin dress that also, came just above her knees. It was body fitting in the bodice, clinging against her like second skin with a poofy, bubble skirt. There was a white ribbon that wrapped around her waist tied into a loose bow tie that hung around her right hip. Johnny was slightly matching in a long-sleeve red button up shirt and a pair of black pants, chains hanging down from the pockets. The sleeves on his shirt were rolled up to his elbows, showing off the tattoos on his arms. They were both glowing as they stood next to one another, Johnny's arm loosely around Danni's waist as they talked with her grandparents.

I sighed, fiddling with my glass of champagne and thought about how much I wanted to be at home right now. I was so happy for the couple, wanting desperately to be the friend they expected me to be but it was difficult for me. All this party reminded me of was that I was alone again; a failure at finding someone wonderful for myself. I was way too stuck in the past. I needed to get over this broken heart of mine and find someone else outside of the Avenged Sevenfold circle to be with.

I took a sip of the champagne, feeling the liquid bubble in my mouth and down my throat as I looked away from Danni and Johnny, unable to keep my thoughts off my romantic failures. I focused my gaze down to my feet, looking at my new black strappy high heels and trying to think of some excuse that would make me leave early. I wanted to skip out on the after party and recollect my energy to pull myself out of bed the next day and repeat the pretending. I felt awful for tonight since everyone thought that maybe it was a sign that I was getting better. They hoped that whatever it was that had been bothering me was over and done with, but I knew better. I had to let them keep their hope intact.

I found myself out of alcohol that moment so I wandered into the kitchen, grabbing another glass and wandering back to my wall. I looked around and saw Val and Matt on the couch, happily chatting with Johnny's mother. Brian's mother and father were talking to Sas, having just met her tonight while Brian stood proudly by her side, grinning like a fool. Zacky was nowhere in sight while the Berry brothers were sitting on the couch, drinking their beers and looking rather bored.

"London dear!" I heard Danni's aunt call to me.

'Fuck, I can't talk to her right now,' I thought to myself, grumbling at the sudden intrusion of my thoughts. 'This woman's a fucking chatterbox.'

"Hey," I fake smiled, trying to be polite.

"I hear that you're going to be the maid of honor for this wedding," she beamed at me.

"That's what Danni wants so I guess it's correct," I shrugged.

"I think it's so sweet that she's marrying her high school sweetheart, don't you?" she continued on. "God, the wedding will be spectacular, though I don't know why they're waiting such a long time to actually get married. It doesn't make any sense."

"Well, I think they're waiting for the band to have another break from work before they schedule anything," I said, trying my best to look as if I was engaged in the conversation.

"That's just ridiculous but I guess I always knew that my youngest niece would wind up with a rock star. She's always the type to find the extraordinary in her life and her fella is definitely extraordinary," she said, eyeing Johnny.

"Oh yeah, he's something," I nodded, taking a drink.

"So when can we expect your wedding? I'm sure you belong to one of these tattooed men around here," she smiled.

"Um, no," I replied, shaking my head.

"Oh, I find that hard to believe, a pretty girl like you without a boyfriend! Did you just choose the single route or do you have your sights set on anyone in particular?" she continued on.

'God, I want to strangle this woman! What the hell? I should've just stayed at home tonight. Now I've got strangers telling me that I'm a failure at finding a relationship,' I thought to myself.

"I'm just enjoying my life as a single guy right now," I shrugged, finishing off my glass of champagne.

The door opened suddenly, causing people to look in that general direction. I glanced towards that location as well and couldn't breathe anymore. I was frozen in place, unable to will myself to look away from the door as the room suddenly seemed to be still. Everything had slowed down drastically, playing in slow motion like certain movies when I saw Jimmy walk in, standing in the walkway as he surveyed the room.

I could feel my heart pound against my chest, drumming a quick rhythm as my eyes looked him over. He still looked amazing, maybe even more so than before but I reminded myself that it was only because I hadn't seen him in a while. He was wearing a blue button up shirt with a black blazer over the top of that. He had a pair of black trousers on, the front of his shirt tucked in to show off the large skull and crossbones buckle on his stud belt. His hair was styled as usual, messy like bed head and slightly hanging over his tired blue eyes. I couldn't help but stare at him, feeling desperate for air to breathe once again.

I forced my eyes away from him, looking back in the general direction of Jason and seeing his face full of concern looking directly at me. I offered a small faked smile and turned away, looking back at Danni's chatty aunt.

"Excuse me," I said quietly, my voice cracking a bit.

She nodded, looking at me strangely as I turned around to make my exit heading straight into the kitchen in an instant need of more alcohol. I felt so overwhelmed seeing him again. My heart wasn't ready to handle such torment. I was barely getting used to the idea of being without his comforting arms. Seeing him now was almost intolerable.

I grabbed another glass of champagne and took a large mouthful quickly, hoping that with the steady pace I had been drinking tonight, I would be able to ease some of these feelings of pain. Everything was caving in on me, the walls gravitating towards me as chatter from the various conversations around me grew louder and louder. My head was spinning so fast as everyone's faces whizzed by in one big blur. I couldn't breathe, suffocation settling in my lungs as I struggled to keep my calm appearance. I felt my hands quiver slightly as my heart raced. I needed to get out of here. I needed to get away from things.

I pushed my way through everyone and out of the sliding glass door to the vacant backyard. The sky was a dark blue, faint lights shining through the dark purple clouds from the stars. The air was cool tonight, instantly lowering my body temperature and allowing me to breathe comfortably once again. I gasped loudly for air at first, feeling near the edge of insanity but quickly regaining my cool, running a shaky hand through my hair as I inhaled deep, calm breaths.

I took a seat on the edge of the dark wooden bench at the end of the patio, shutting my eyes and letting the stillness of the night calm me down. My thoughts wouldn't stop spinning as the raw emotions from a week ago reemerged. I tried pushing them away as best as I could but they were persistent, wanting full control of my mind. Eventually I gave up and just let my thoughts run amuck, hoping this method would rid them quicker than my past efforts. I drank the rest of my champagne, feeling the effects of the alcohol slowly rising as I opened my eyes, staring at the night sky once again.

I heard the door open and froze once again, unsure of who could've followed me out here. I was hoping it wasn't Jimmy. I didn't have anything to say to him. I couldn't even look at him without wanting to burst into tears. I just needed space from him. I needed to be able to heal first.

"London?" I heard the familiar voice question. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah. I just needed some air," I replied through a shaky breath, facing away from this familiar person. "It was too hot in there."

"You're such a horrible liar," the voice chuckled.

I heard footsteps shuffling closer to me as I slouched a bit, studying my feet. This person was right behind me now, shuffling hands into pockets and sighing. I turned around, studying the current expression of worry and sighing. I felt a hand on my shoulder, squeezing it reassuringly as I felt myself on the verge of an emotional breakdown.

"What's wrong London?" he asked.

"It's nothing. I'm just being stupid," I said dismissively, trying to bottle up my feelings once again.

"It can't be all that stupid if it's got you upset like this. You can tell me you know. It's not like I would say anything to anyone. I'm just worried," he sighed.

I bit my bottom lip and looked back up to the concerned eyes of the man before me. I knew that he was right when he told me that he wouldn't tell anyone anything since it wasn't how he operated. Zacky was the one that was the gossip of the group. I only had to worry about telling him things. I looked away again, studying the wooden patio and patting the seat beside me.

"Take a seat," I mumbled.

He did as I said, wrapping a strong arm around my shoulders as I leaned against him. I smiled a little, thinking about how familiar this felt. It was something that I had done for years when I was in high school, always able to rely on a few select people to know everything about me in order to process what was really wrong. Knowing that I hadn't lost that connection over the years was actually very reassuring.

"So, what's going on with you?" he asked quietly, rubbing his hand against my arm.

"I'm just an idiot," I sighed.

"This has to do with Jimmy, doesn't it?" he asked as I looked at him questionably.

"Is it that obvious?" I asked.

"Well, you were telling us to ask Jimmy what happened so I did. He told me everything," he explained.

"So, you already know," I said quietly.

"You should've told us what was going on earlier. Everyone's been so worried about you," he said.

"I know people have been worried but what was I supposed to say? 'In order to make Zacky realize that he should be in love with me instead, I came up with a plan where I hooked up with Jimmy, only to fall for him instead of Zacky, knowing that he could never feel that way about me?' That wouldn't have worked. I already know what Danni will say when she finds out," I sighed.

"London," he sighed quietly, ready to make an argument before I cut him off.

"No, seriously, what am I supposed to tell everyone? That I'm stupid for coming up with a plan that was sure to backfire or that I've completely fallen apart because I've realized that the person that I really care about went back to the woman he planned to make his fiancée? Should I admit that I was just everyone's second choice, that I'm the one that everyone turns to when they need something?" I said, my voice wavering as I spoke. "Tell me what I'm supposed to say."

"London, you know that's not true. You're not the second choice. You're so much more than you give yourself credit for," he said.

"Then why am I the one that's left abandoned and heartbroken every time?" I questioned quietly. "Why does it always seem like no one wants me?"

He instantly wrapped his arms around me, smashing me against his body as I felt the tears fall from my eyes. He held me there, slowly swaying side to side as he rubbed my back. He smelled like cigarette smoke and cologne, a smell that was almost the same as Jimmy's smell. I guess I should have expected it though. Everyone in this band had the same habits so they were bound to have similarities amongst them.

"You're not unwanted London," he said quietly. "There are a million guys out there that would be lucky to have a girl like you. Unfortunately, you've just picked the two guys that are dumber than shit to want."

"Jason said the same thing," I sighed, wiping my tears carefully, trying not to smudge the makeup.

"Well, it's true. You're an amazing girl. You're smart, funny, and an amazing cook," he said, causing me to laugh a little at my culinary skills. "Look, Zacky's a bastard who's just completely blind. He didn't know he had an amazing thing in front of him and that's his fault. I'm sorry you had to love someone like that," he said.

"And Jimmy?" I asked, pulling away from him a bit. "What does that make him?"

"Jimmy is Jimmy, the same guy we've known since high school. I know that this whole relationship of yours was supposed to be staged but I've never seen him glow the way he did when he was around you. He's always been that way about you, even since high school. I think you need to talk to him. You can't throw him away," he told me.

"I'm not throwing him away. I just can't stand the idea of him and Morgan together," I replied. "Again, it just reminds me of how I'm not good enough to be with him."

"They're not together," he told me.

"What?" I asked, my eyes going wide with shock.

"They're not together," he repeated. "You need to talk to him about that though. You need to hear him out."

"What? Why?" I asked.

"He can explain it to you better than I can," he shrugged.

I pushed away from him, suddenly feeling angry yet curious about this whole situation. He wasn't with Morgan? What the hell was this supposed to mean then? Would I be able to go back to the way things were before or have things just completely fallen apart? I felt so confused now, unsure of what to do next. Part of me wanted to run back into the house and find him so I could feel his comforting arms once again but the other part of me was still in too much pain over his choice to begin with. Either way, he still picked her over me and that's something I couldn't get over yet.

"Could this night get any worse?" I questioned aloud to myself.

"You've just jinxed yourself you know?" he chuckled behind me.

"Oh ha, ha, I know," I replied sarcastically, rolling my eyes. "When are we taking off for the club?" I asked.

"That's why they sent me out here ten minutes ago," he laughed. "They were looking to leave now."

"Good, let's get the hell out of here," I laughed, walking past him and towards the door.

"Just tell me that you plan on talking to Jimmy soon," he said, seemingly pleading with me.

I sighed, knowing that he wouldn't let me leave unless I told him what he wanted to hear. He just wanted things to get better and go back to how they used to be before everyone was broken up into teams against each other. I didn't blame him though. I wanted things to get better as well though, I wasn't sure it would be possible now. I couldn't figure out what I really wanted out of this whole thing, other than the aching in my heart to finally end.

"I will but not tonight," I sighed. "I've already taken away from Johnny and Danni's night too much and I won't do that anymore. It's not fair to them."

"Just soon please," he requested.

"Of course," I nodded. "Thanks Brian."

"Alright, no more of this sissy girlie shit," he chuckled. "Let's go get drunk."

I laughed and walked back into the house, Brian trailing behind me slowly towards the front door. He reassured me that makeup looked fine so I didn't worry about it so much. I just grabbed my bag from the hall closet and walked out of the house.

"Fuckin' finally! It took you two long enough!" Matt Berry said.

"Hey, you shut up! I've waited for you a lot longer than you were waiting princess," I giggled, pointing a finger at him.

"Well, get your sweet ass in gear! I wanna get drunk," he grinned.

"Fine!" I replied, walking over to truck.

I opened the door and saw both Zacky and Jimmy sitting in the backseat, looking at me with very different expressions on their faces. Zacky was looking at me with concern before he started scanning my body, seeing the generous amount of flesh that this dress displayed. Jimmy was looking at me in surprise, obviously not expecting me to climb over Zacky's lap to the middle seat between them. He seemed a little ridged next to me but I tried to pay no attention to him. I just leaned forward, throwing my arms over the front seat in between Jason and Matt.

"Stomp on the gas and move your ass Matty! I wanna go dance," I laughed, trying my best to pay no attention to the boys I was sandwiched between.

"Give me a minute! Shit woman!" he whined.

I glanced at Jason, seeing that he was looking at me apologetically. I just gave a small sigh, rolling my eyes and trying to signal it was ok. In reality, if I was a little more sober than I was now, this would've been incredibly awkward for me. At the moment, I didn't really care because they were easy to block out.

Matt finally started the truck, pulling away from the crowded street and towards the club. I heard Sublime playing in the background quietly as we drove. I nodded my head along to the song, grateful for the distraction. I decided that I needed it louder so I leaned over the front seat, probably giving Jimmy and Zacky a nice view of my ass as I turned the knob to the volume up so I could hear it better.

"You could've asked, you know," Matt chuckled.

"I know but you probably would've made me do it myself anyway," I shrugged, leaning back against the seat.

I was well aware that both Jimmy and Zacky were staring at me but I just shut my eyes, continuing to nod along to the music. I needed to keep myself distracted. It was hard enough being around one of them but being stuck between the two of them just reminded me of that overly sexual dream I had where I was being forced to choose one of them.

"You know," Jason said, snapping me away from my thoughts and forcing me to open my eyes, "There's something about Sublime that's so fucking amazing,"

"Probably cuz their music is all about sex, drugs, and rock and roll," I giggled.

"Yet they sound nothing like that genre of music," Matt said.

"That's not even a genre!" I argue.

"Sure it is! Everyone knows that," Matt scoffed.

"Whatever Matt. You just wanna be right about everything though you're not," I laughed.

"He sure isn't! He thought my favorite color was black!" Jason laughed.

"Not everyone's favorite color is black," I laughed.

"Ok, if you're so smart then what is it?" Zacky questioned, finally joining the conversation.

"Red," Jimmy and I said at the same time.

We looked at each other for a moment, surprised that we had both said the same thing before he looked away. I noticed that he was forcing his stare out the window, his face reflected a bit from the street lights. He seemed to be in pain as he sat next to me, making me want to hug him but I refrained from it. I wasn't going down that path tonight. I forced my gaze away.

The truck fell into an awkward silence after that, everyone unsure of what was going on. I suddenly wished that I could just go home and forget about everything up to this point but there was no going back. I just needed to get to the bar as soon as humanly possible.

After another ten minutes, we finally got to the club we were supposed to be at, seeing that Matt's car had beaten us there. Zacky got out first, holding out his hand for me. I took it and he helped me down, giving it a small squeeze. I looked up at him to see a tiny smile on his lips as he looked at me, which was confusing me to no end. I took my hand away, walking past him quickly and up to Jason.

"Hey," he smiled, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. "I didn't know you were riding with us," he said apologetically.

"It's whatever Jas. Just get me a drink," I laughed, trying to play it off so no one started worrying again.

"You got it babe," he winked, steering me towards the bar.

This place reminded me a lot of Mercury in Los Angeles in its appearance. I guess clubs all looked the same for the most part. They were always packed, loud, and dimly lit but at this point, I didn't even care. I needed all the distraction that I could get.

Jason grabbed me a Tokyo Tea and a beer for himself, winking at me. I was so grateful he knew that my goal was to get drunk. I'm sure he didn't approve of it but I desperately needed it. The tension in the car was too great. I needed to seem like things were going back to normal, even if that was a total contradiction to how I really felt.

I nodded along to the loud bassy music that was playing, grabbing Jason's hand and leading him towards the table in the back where everyone else was. I noticed a lot of guys milling around the bar, staring at me in an obvious way that made me feel slightly uncomfortable. I was never one that got checked out by guys but I guess now that I wasn't completely wrapped around Jimmy or Zacky, I took notice of others.

We got to the table to see there was limited room available for everyone. Jason just shrugged and took a seat, leaving me to stand there and look at him in shock.

"What?" he laughed.

"You fucking suck ass," I huffed. "Where am I supposed to sit?"

"Best seat in the house of course," he said, patting his leg.

"Best seat in the house," Johnny scoffed. "That's so not true dude."

"Yeah," I replied. "Everyone knows that the best seat in the house is on Danni's lap!"

"Why me?" she questioned.

"Cuz then I can curl up there and rest my head on your boobies like pillows. It's lovely," I winked.

"I should feel offended but I don't. I actually am rather flattered," Danni giggled.

"Hey! Get your own Danni! This one's mine," Johnny protested, grabbing her arm and hold it like a possessive five year old holding a toy.

"Ugh, just cuz you're marrying her doesn't mean she can't be my pillow!" I laughed.

"Yeah it does! She's gonna be mine now," he glared.

"Hey! I'm not a cheap piece of meat! I belong to no one!" she protested.

"Seriously, you guys start fighting about the stupidest shit," Shadows scoffed.

"Whatever," I smiled, rolling my eyes. I took the straw out of my drink and chugged the rest of it down, feeling the alcohol burning down the back of my throat as my eyes watered a bit. I slammed my empty glass on the table and smiled at them. "Fine. I won't sit then. I'm going to dance," I said.

"You're always wanting to dance," Matt chuckled.

"You're just jealous cuz you don't got moves like I do," I giggled.

"You're not going out there by yourself, are you?" Val questioned.

"That's usually how I roll. I'll be fine," I shrugged, feeling myself sway a bit.

Zacky was looking at me with a small smirk on his face, watching me drunkenly move my body back and forth while Jimmy, who sat across from him, was looking at me worriedly. I just rolled my eyes and smiled at everyone before turning away.

I started walking towards the crowd, feeling a little unsteady on my feet due to the combination of alcohol and high heels. I made my way into the middle of the floor, moving my body to the familiar hip-hop music playing overhead on the speaker system. Everyone around me was moving similarly to the smooth beat, grinding themselves against their dance partners of just dancing by themselves.

It didn't take too long for someone to come up to me and start dancing along with me. It was a guy with short blonde hair and bright blue eyes that reminded me a lot of Jimmy's electric blue ones. He seemed like a typical frat boy, dressed in some nice, designer jeans and a white polo shirt but I didn't mind. He wasn't bad looking and I was too buzzed to care who I was dancing with.

I could feel his hands roaming carelessly all over my body as we danced. Normally I would be a little more reluctant to dance like this but again, I need the distraction from what was waiting for me at the table. I didn't want to deal with Jimmy's worried look because just being around him was hard enough for me and I definitely didn't need to be around Zacky's unreadable expression.

"How're you doin' tonight babe?" Frat Boy breathed into my ear.

"Fan-fucking-tastic," I replied, rolling my eyes as the song changed.

"I saw you earlier at the bar," he told me.

"Yeah," I nodded, unable to say anything else to him.

"You're fucking sexy as hell," he told me.

"Thanks," I mumbled, starting to wish I had someone else to dance with now.

"London!" I heard from a few feet away.

I turned my head a bit and saw Brian and Sas dancing together. Brian was signaling me to him as I smiled gratefully at him. Sas was looking back and forth between Frat Boy and me with a curious expression on her face. I slightly shook my head and she shrugged.

"Thanks for the dance," I told Frat Boy, pulling away from him.

"Whoa baby, what's your rush?" he asked, taking a hold of my arm and trying to stop me.

"You see that big, tall, muscular man over there?" I questioned, pointing to Brian. "He's summoned me so I need to go over to him," I said, trying to pull myself out of his grasp.

"He's already got a girl to dance with. How fucking greedy can he be?" Frat Boy scoffed, tightening the grip on my arm. "C'mon, just one more dance."

"I really need to go," I argued, starting to feel a little angry.

"C'mon babe," he continued, stroking my arm with his free hand. "I thought we were just getting' to know each other."

"Hey buddy!" I heard from behind me. I turned my head slightly to see Jimmy standing there, glaring at Frat Boy menacingly. "Let go of her."

"Who are you? Her dad?" Frat Boy scoffed, unimpressed by Jimmy's appearance.

"She's tried to turn you down nicely but now you're crossing the fucking line. If you don't let go of her now, I'm gonna fucking beat the shit out of you," Jimmy warned.

"Like you could," he continued. "What are you, like a buck fifteen? I could fucking take you."

I knew that this was soon going to escalate so I took the opportunity to snatch my arm away from Frat Boy and slap his face. He was so shocked, holding his left cheek and glaring at me.

"I'm fucking sick of guys treating me like property," I seethed, stomping off to the bar.

Though I should've felt grateful that Jimmy got me out of that situation, I was still pissed off that things were turning out to be this way tonight. I was hoping that I would be able to go out tonight without any kind of drama and then, I wind up in more drama than I could want to deal with. I was stuck with all this pain still fresh in my heart and unable to escape the two people that tormented me. I wanted to throw my arms around Jimmy and have my way with him on the dance floor for saving me from the overly friendly frat boy but at the same time, I was still angry that he was trying to stake some kind of protective claim over me after making his choice.

I got to the bar and promptly ordered three shots of Patron, desperately wanting the tequila tonight over the whiskey. I pulled some money from the bra of my dress and paid the bartender, who placed the drinks down in front of me immediately. I took all three of them at once, one right after another, before walking back to the table, still feeling a little pissed off at that whole situation.

"What the hell was that about London?" I heard Val ask me as soon as I approached.

"What?" I questioned, plopping myself down gently in Jason's lap.

"That whole fucking situation with you and that disgusting college boy," she said.

"Yeah London. I know you are willing to dance with anyone but damn, that guy reminded me of the football team back in high school," Danni said, making a face.

"It was whatever," I shrugged.

"Where'd Jimmy go?" Johnny questioned, approaching the table.

"He disappeared onto the dance floor after he saw how London was dancing with that blonde boy," Matt Berry explained.

"Fucking prick," I muttered, still feeling angry with Jimmy.

"Why are you pissed off with him?" Jason questioned. "He got you away from that fucking blonde guy."

"Cuz! God! He fucking chooses Morgan over me and yet he's still trying to stake some claim to me! What the fuck is that shit? I'm sick of this fucking bullshit! I'm a grown ass woman and can fucking take care of myself! If he really fucking cared that much, he would've actually picked me over her to begin with! I'm sick of this shit!" I snapped, slurring my words together slightly.

"What are you talking about?" Val asked curiously.

"Might as well tell you now since you're bound to find out anyway!" I said, taking a drink of Jason's beer. "Zacky started fucking Morgan, causing both my heartache and Jimmy's heart ache but we were convinced that it wasn't love like he thought it was so we decided that we were gonna hook up in a fake relationship to prove that they had missed out on the real but that fucking backfired cuz not only did I fall in love with Zacky but then I fell in love with fucking Jimmy Sullivan! But he fucked Morgan and neglected to tell me that the deal was off and thus, broke my fucking heart!" I ranted, realizing that everyone had walked back up to the table.

"When the hell did this happen?" Johnny questioned.

"Well, Jimmy fucked her the night you proposed to Danni so a week ago!" I said, finishing the beer.

"Why didn't you tell us?" Shadows asked.

"Why would I? So everyone could hate Zacky and Jimmy for no reason when this whole fucking thing is my fault?" I scoffed.

"Dammit London! You should've told us!" Danni snapped. "I can't believe you!"

"God dammit! I need more fucking beer!" I whined, trying to drink out of the empty beer mug.

Everything was starting to feel hazy as I got up from Jason's lap, grabbing my purse from the table. Danni and Val looked at each other in disbelief while the guys were looking directly at Jimmy and Zacky with unreadable expressions. Zacky looked a little shocked at my sudden admission of feelings while Jimmy stood there, unsure of what to say. I shook my head, causing more dizziness to hit me before I started for the bar.

"Whoa London," Brian said, placing hands on my shoulders to stop me. "I think you've had enough."

"Ha, ha, nice one Bri now let me by," I laughed.

"Seriously, I think it's time to get you home," he said.

"Alright, I'll get myself home then," I said, spinning out of his grasp and stumbling past him to the door.

The warm night air felt so much better than the stuffy bar as I stumbled outside, digging around in my bag for my phone. I started walking unsteadily to the street, hoping to flag down a cab so I could head home and escape the current hell I was experiencing.

I had told everyone everything without meaning to. I was so drunk at this point I just stopped caring, through I knew that tomorrow it would be difficult to face them again. Jimmy just stood there, looking like I had stabbed him in the gut. He didn't protest at all when I mentioned that he had broken my heart. He didn't even try to interject to speak to me.

Suddenly, I realized that I had been rejected for the second time by him. I could feel the tears about to fall from my eyes but desperately fought as hard as I could to keep my act together. I slumped down against a wall in the alleyway, the depression rolling out of me through my crying. I wanted to stop caring about him but I couldn't. Jimmy was the one that I wanted but I knew I couldn't have him.

Eventually, I calmed myself down a bit, lying back against the brick wall as I fought sleep. I was too exhausted to move from the current spot I was in so I just tried to make myself comfortable, feeling in and out of consciousness. I didn't care about anything at this point but sleep.

As I fell into a world of total unconsciousness, I felt arms scoop me up from the ground, carrying me away into the night.