House of Jealous Lovers

It had been a week since my painful revelation of the true Zacky Baker and I was utterly devastated. I hadn't really left Jimmy's since then, both of us feeling way too pained to face anyone. Zacky had been trying to call me all week but I refused his phone calls, not wanting to deal with his apologies. The things he had said to me still hurt and I could just let it go like I normally would have in the past. I needed to keep my anger towards him, otherwise, I would fall right back into my miserable state of being the best friend.

Though what Zacky had done was completely horrible, I still loved him. I didn't get why these feelings for him didn't die that day I caught him in bed with Morgan but they were still there. I guess I guess I just hoped that Morgan was another one of the random girls he picked up in a bar, which would leave me going back to our regular routine. I missed it, though it put me through so much emotional turmoil. For some reason, I still wanted Zacky for myself.

Danni was worried about me as well as everyone else. Danni and Brian always called Jimmy and me multiple times a day, just checking in to see if we were still alive. I rarely went back to the house because I didn't want to face the questions and the sympathy. Jimmy understood my heartache so we spent most of the week in his house with the exception of me having to suffer through classes and working night shifts. We were leaning on each other, acting as one another's crutch. It was at least good to know that someone understood my hurt.

Currently, my head felt like a jackhammer had been running in it all night long. Jimmy and I spent our evenings drowning our horrible love lives with alcohol, which was causing major problems for the both of us. By all the binge drinking we were doing this past week, I had a feeling our kidneys were starting to deteriorate.

I was laying half way on the black couch, still clutching the empty bottle of Jack in my left hand and Jimmy's foot in my right. When I leaned up, I groaned loudly in pain, feeling as if my head were going to explode any second. I decided that it was best to just lie back down and get comfortable.

When I tried to move my leg, I wound up kicking Jimmy in the face.

"Ow! What the fuck?" he bellowed. "Shit, my head kills."

"Shh!" I hissed. "Loud noises hurt my head."

He groaned a bit, stretching his arms over his head as I tried to get some more sleep, hoping that would kill my headache. Jimmy, on the other hand, felt the need to speak to me.

"London?" he whispered.

"Yeah?" I whispered back.

"Why are you holding my foot?"

"I have no idea. Why was my leg near your face?"

"How am I supposed to know?"

"I thought you might have been the brains of this operation."

"Well shit."

"What happened last night?"

"I have no idea."

I leaned up again to look at how Jimmy and I were positioned on the couch. We were all tangled up in each other's bodies with Guitar Hero controllers not too far away. The cords from the controllers were wrapped around our legs and arms and the television was on, saying that both of us had failed the Nirvana song. I guess we played drunken Guitar Hero before passing out drunk.

I carefully sat up, trying my best not to hurt Jimmy any more than I already did when I kicked him in the face. He groaned in protest when he was forced to move his head but also sat up with me, looking at me carefully.

"We need to stop drinking like this," I said, leaning against the back of the couch.

"Probably," Jimmy shrugged.

I heard my Muse ringtone blaring loudly from the coffee table, causing Jimmy and I both to wince in pain. I picked up my vibrating phone and saw it was Danni, already starting her daily phone calls. I sighed and answered it.

"Hello?" I whispered loudly into the phone.

"London? Why are you whispering?" she asked loudly.

"Gah! Tone down your voice! It's hurting my head," I groaned.

"Hung over again, are we?" she sighed.

"Maybe just a tiny bit."

"Well this isn't good. You and Jimmy need to stop before you both wind up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning."

"We just came to that realization like five seconds ago," I sighed. "So is this another phone call to check up on us"

"No this is the phone call saying that you and Jimmy need to get your asses up and be at Brian's house later for movie night. We haven't seen you all week and I'm pretty sure that you've just been moping around. It's not healthy. You need to spend time with us."

"Will Zacky be there?" I questioned.

"I'm not sure. Brian didn't say anything."

"I don't really want to go," I said finally.

"Tough shit, you're going, even if I have to get Brian and Matt to drag the both of you to his house, you're going!"

"Why the hell do you want us there?"

"Cuz we care about you two and we need to make sure that you're both at least still functioning. What's the harm in pretending for your friends?"

"Fine, I guess. What time?"

"Whenever. Matt and Val are there right now, getting the barbeque ready."

"So we're barbequing tonight? This isn't gonna be a huge fucking party, is it?" I asked, causing Jimmy to look at me.

"No, it's just gonna be a bunch of friends together, eating some food and watching movies. You guys will be fine," she assured me.

"Fine. We'll see you there," I said.

"I'd better fucking see you there or else someone's precious Monster supply will go down the sink drain," she threatened.

"You wouldn't," I replied lowly.

"Oh I would. Too-da-loo!" she said cheerfully, hanging up the phone.

I glared at my phone and threw it into the chair. Jimmy looked at me with disappointment in his face, knowing what that conversation was all about. I knew he was just about as enthusiastic as I was about going to Brian's but we both knew the repercussions of trying to avoid it.

"What time do you wanna go?" he asked me.

"Well, we need to shower and get dressed before we think about doing anything," I sighed.

"Well, let's get a move on. Maybe if we show up early, we can cut out of there sooner," he said.

I stood up slowly from the couch, holding my aching head as I wandered lazily down the hall to the downstairs bathroom. Jimmy trailed behind me before going up the stairs, also holding his head and groaning loudly in pain.

I turned on the shower and stripped my clothing off, realizing it smelled like whiskey and peanuts, which I thought was so odd. I opened up the medicine cabinet, finding a bottle of Excedrin and smiled a little, realizing that I needed the painkillers and the caffeine. I took two pills and swallowed them with ease. I would soon be feeling a million times better.

I stepped into the shower, letting the warm water envelop my body and sighed contently. The warm water felt amazing against my sun-kissed skin, reminding me that I always needed to take a shower after a hard night of drinking. I was immediately perking up. I grabbed some of the shampoo that was in there and poured it in my hand. I spread it across my hand before running them through my matted, wet hair, massaging the shampoo into my scalp. I'd never felt anything better in my life.

After spending a good ten minutes washing my hair and my body, I shut the water off and stepped out of the shower, wrapping a large towel around my soaking body. I shook my head from side to side to rid myself of some of the water in my hair and then laughed at myself. I was completely ridiculous.

Once I was dried off enough, I wrapped the towel around myself again and wandered down the hall to the living room. Since I was staying with Jimmy so often, I just decided to pack myself a bag filled with clean clothes and essentials. I grabbed a pair of black pants and a purple and black 'Search and Destroy' shirt before wandering back to the bathroom to change. I towel dried my hair a bit before slipping the fresh clothing on, feeling like a new woman at this point.

I realized that I didn't have any makeup with me, since there was really no point so I wandered up the stairs to Jimmy's room, since I knew at the bare minimum, he would have some eyeliner I could borrow.

I knocked, hearing him shuffling around in his room.

"Come in," he said, the door muffling his reply.

I opened the door and found Jimmy standing in front of his closet wearing a pair of tight black pants that hung low on his hips and no shirt. Though he was skinnier than most of the guys in the band, he wasn't a toothpick. He had some musculature to him; he just wasn't as beefy as the others. I smiled a little, letting my eyes wander over his tattooed upper body.

"Can't pick a shirt?" I questioned.

"There aren't many that are clean," he pouted.

I wandered over to the closet, looking through his collection of shirts before finally settling on a black and red splatter shirt. I tossed it at him and then found a black blazer and held it up to him as he slipped the shirt over his head.

"Yeah, that works," he smiled, grabbing the jacket off the hanger and slipping it on as well. I walked over to him and rolled up the sleeves to his elbows as he just laughed at me. "Leave it to you to make sure I look good," he said.

"Well, you're all majorly cocky about looking good at all times. What kind of friend would I be if I allowed you to make fashion mistakes?" I chuckled. "Hey, do you mind if I borrow your eyeliner?"

"You know I don't," he said.

"Thanks," I smiled, walking into his bathroom.

The mirrors were still fogged from his shower and the air humid. I frowned a bit when I realized I could put on the makeup in this room. I grabbed the eyeliner and stood at his closet, looking into my own reflection before applying the eyeliner.

Once I was done, I handed it to Jimmy, knowing he would probably throw some on as well before we headed out. I walked back downstairs, gathering all the necessary items together in my bag and trying to find my shoes. I finally found them in the kitchen, one on top of the fridge and the other in the microwave.

"Jimmy!" I called.

"What?" he asked, appearing in the kitchen a second later. "Why's your shoe in the microwave?"

"I thought you might know the answer to that," I laughed. "Could you grab the one on top of the fridge for me?"

"No problem Shortcake," he said, retrieving my shoe.

"Hey, it's not my fault I wasn't born a freak of nature like you," I laughed.

"I'm hurt! I'm not a freak of nature!" he whined.

"No, everyone is just super tall like you in this world," I said sarcastically.

"My mother just says I'm special," he said in defense.

"You're special alright," I laughed. "Special Ed."

"That's it! Your shoe can just go back on top of the fridge forever!" he said, reaching over head.

"No!" I cried. I tried jumping up for it but couldn't even reach it in the slightest. I instantly wrapped my arms around his torso, pulling him close to me. "I love you Jimmy! You're the most amazing person in the world! I don't know what I'd do without my lovable giant!"

He chuckled, "I guess I'll take mercy on your shoe just this once." He handed me back my shoe and I smiled at him, slipping them on. "So, you ready to go?"

I sighed, "I guess if we must."

"I'm pretty sure that we hafta or else Danni will kill us," he said.

"Did you want me to drive or are you driving?"

"I can drive," he shrugged.

"Alright, let's get going then," I sighed.

I grabbed my purse from the living room as we walked out to the car. I climbed into the passenger's seat and started looking for something to listen to. I sifted through radio stations before finally settling on one that was playing classic rock.

"So, do you think Zacky's gonna be there?" he asked after a moment.

"No clue. Danni said she wasn't sure," I shrugged. "I'm pretty sure he'll show up though," I sighed.

"He's been calling you all week," he said.

"I know. I don't wanna talk to him."

"I understand. I'm having a hard time being around him myself," he said, tightening his grip on the steering wheel.

"Look, let's just go tonight and if he shows up, we'll deal with it. At least we have each other through this," I smiled.

"That was so damn cheesy," he chuckled.

"Oh fuck you, you like it," I laughed.

"Of course I do. It seems we're slowly getting back to normal," he said.

"Maybe."

The truth was I was trying so hard to make it seem like I was getting better. I knew that if Jimmy saw I was still miserable then he would remain miserable as well. I just decided that to further his progress, I would bottle up all the hurt I felt and try to put on a show. I just wanted everyone to stop feeling so concerned about me. I needed time to myself in order to suffer properly.

We arrived at the house and parked on the street. I saw Johnny's car which meant Danni was already here as well as the Berry brothers' truck. I smiled a little, feeling better about getting to see them.

Jimmy grabbed my hand and led me into the house, not being bothered to knock.

"Yo!" I called out, seeing no one in the living room.

"Everyone must be out back," Jimmy said.

We walked out to the backyard where everyone was. Val and Danni were sitting in chairs on the patio while Shadows and Brian were arguing over the grill. Jason was grabbing a beer from the cooler. Johnny and Matt were nowhere to be seen. Val was the first to notice Jimmy and I walk out.

"Well look at who finally rose from the dead," she laughed. "Good of you two to grace us with your presence once again."

"We were threatened," I said, glaring at Danni.

"Well with good intention," she winked.

"We're just glad to see you at all," Jason said, passing the two of us and heading back into the house.

We heard a loud crash and saw that Shadows and Brian were still yelling about who was doing what at the grill pit. Jimmy and I laughed at them, watching as they carried on like four year olds.

"I'm gonna go break up their fight before someone gets doused in lighter fluid," Jimmy smiled.

"Alright, I'll catch you later," I said, letting my hand slip from his. I wandered to the cooler, grabbing myself a beer before settling in one of the chairs near the girls who were staring at me curiously. "What?" I asked.

"What do you mean what? What was that?" Danni asked.

"What was what? I have no idea what you're talking about crazy woman!" I said, taking a sip.

"You and Jimmy," she said.

I nodded my head, waiting for more information. They didn't give me any so I sighed in frustration.

"What about me and Jimmy?"

"Nothing at all," Danni grinned knowingly.

I shrugged it off and continued drinking my beer in peace. Val went to get another one for herself while I looked around the backyard. I noticed Johnny and the Berrys were missing, which made me curious.

"Where's Johnny?" I asked.

"He's inside somewhere. I think he and Matt are trying to figure out what movies we're watching tonight," she said with a shrug. Val returned and they both looked at me, smiling softly. "It's good to see you," Danni said.

"What do you mean? You live with me! You see me every day," I laughed.

"Not lately," she said.

"Yeah, you and Jimmy seemed to fall off the face of the Earth for a while there," Val said.

"Well, can you blame me?" I asked.

"No, we get it. It just sucks that you had to deal with that. It's gotta be hard," she said.

"When I found out what happened, Zacky had turned up around the house asking for you," Danni said. "I popped him one in the mouth and told him he was a complete asshole for doing this to you and Jimmy."

"Jimmy knew about it though before I did," I said quietly.

"Seriously?" Val asked.

"Yeah. He's about as messed up as I am right now," I sighed.

"You two seem better though," Danni said. "When you walked in here together, you were both smiling. I thought that maybe something happened between you two or something to cause those kinds of smiles."

"You're definitely off your rocket," I laughed.

"Well, you two sure did look happy together. Sorry if we mistook you for a couple," Val said, taking a sip of her beer.

"I'm gonna go find Jason," I said, standing up.

I wandered away from the girls, shaking my heads at their assumptions. Why would they assume that Jimmy and I were together? We had both just had our hearts trampled on by two people. I couldn't possibly think about anyone else in that way, much less Jimmy. He was just a good friend. It was too weird to think of him as something more than that.

I shook my head of the thought and wandered into the house, hearing Johnny's conversation with someone in the foyer.

"Dude, I don't think it's a good idea to be here," he said to the person.

"Look man, I really need to talk to her," I heard Zacky's voice say, causing my heart to race.

"London just needs some time. You know better than anyone how she is when she's pissed. Let her have some more time to cool off," Johnny said.

"She's been avoiding me all week! I've felt like complete shit for saying those things to her. I just wanna make it right and have my best friend again," he said.

Best friend. That's all I would ever be in the eyes of Zacky Baker. I hated it when I heard him call me his best friend. I didn't want to be his best friend. I wanted to be his girlfriend but I couldn't. Morgan was with him now and I was left alone because I had fallen for the wrong kind of guy. My luck definitely sucked.

I glanced around the corner into the living room, seeing Johnny and Zacky standing there in the foyer. Zacky looked so amazing as usual. His short black hair was slightly messy, like he had been running a hand through it. His eyes were pleading, desperate even which broke my heart even further. I was tempted to run over to him and hug him right there but I stayed where I was, knowing that it was just part of his charm.

Zacky caught a glimpse of me and smiled a little. I cursed mentally in my head, realizing that I had been looking at him a lot longer than I thought I would be. I walked over to the two guys slowly, realizing that there was no avoiding a conversation now.

Johnny looked at me curiously as I nodded to him, signaling I was ok. He nodded and reluctantly left me there alone with Zacky. I took a deep breath and sighed, trying my best to avoid his stare. I didn't want to give in too easily.

"London," he greeted uncomfortably. "How've you been?"

'Getting struck by lightning would be a vast improvement compared to how I'm feeling now,' I thought to myself.

"Fine," I answered curtly.

He sighed, running a hand through his messy hair, "I'm sorry London. I didn't mean those things I said to you. I feel like an asshole for hurting you like that," he told me.

I looked into his eyes, which was a big mistake when I noticed that he looked terribly pained. I tried my best to look away but I couldn't. My gaze always fell back to Zacky. I bit my bottom lip nervously, hoping that I would be able to find some kind of urge to tell him to fuck off.

"You are an asshole," I muttered bitterly.

"I know. I'm the hugest asshole on the planet," he agreed. "But I'm still sorry about what I said. It was way out of line," he told me. I remained quiet, looking down at the floor. He cautiously approached me, placing hands on my arms. I looked up at him and saw that he was giving me a look of sincerity. "I've really missed you London. It's been hell not being able to talk to you all week."

"I've missed you too," I whispered.

"Do you think you'll be able to forgive me for being an asshole?"

'No! Don't forgive him! It's just gonna end badly all over again. Do you really want o suffer though just being the best friend again? Just forget him and move on! Tell him no!' my mind was screaming at me.

I sighed, looking down at the floor. I wanted to tell him exactly what my mind was telling me but my heart interjected and reminded me that he was still my close friend and that it would be stupid to throw away all those years of friendship over this. I still loved him and wanted him in my life, though I knew that it was going to hurt me.

"I think I might be able to," I replied quietly.

He felt him pull me into a hug, squeezing me tightly to him. I was instantly hit with that familiar smell of cigarettes and soap, his smell. I tentatively wrapped my arms around him, returning the hug as the feelings I had to him returned. I desperately wished that this was more than just a hug amongst friends. I wanted this to be the moment where he realized that I was the one for him but it just wasn't. That moment would never exist.

"I'm sorry London. I really am," he said, breathing into my neck.

"It's alright Zacky," I sighed, shutting my eyes and relishing in the moment.

"I love you," he whispered quietly. "I don't know how I would survive without my best friend."

"Yeah, me either," I replied.

The cycle was to begin again. Why couldn't I let go of my feelings for him? Why did I have to be so forgiving?

Things were heading right back to normal again. Zacky and I were to be friends and I was going to be stuck in my misery. Could things get any worse?