Burning Cities
Lateralus
The car quickly quieted itself as I pulled the key from the ignition, resting my forehead against the steering wheel that smelled like leather, even though I knew it couldn't really be. My knotted, shaggy, choppy, and medium length blond hair fell over my face, blocking the light that came from the gray skies. I let loose a sigh that shook my whole body. I didn't care if I end up being late to class.
After what felt like a couple minutes, I lifted my head to see the snow falling and melting on the dark blue hood of my car. It had been snowing all night, and hopefully it'd stop soon before the roads get too slushy. I looked at my cellphone, fat, and dark blue, with a qwerty keyboard. It's still the same time it was when I turned off the car. Time is going by too slowly for me.
For some reason, that made me think of the boy who delivered the take out last night. His face, and the calm feeling I felt when I opened the door. For some reason, it seemed like he was masking his emotions, like he knew I was doing it, even if I didn't realize I was. Not until now, not until I've had time to filter the details of the way he made me feel did I realize I was doing it. And his eyes. Those seemed to be permanently burned in the back of my skull.
BOOM! against the car window, and I jumped in my seat, hitting my head against the ceiling of the car. It's not a very big car anyway.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Alan yelled as I opened my door, rubbing the top of my head where it seemed to hurt most. The pain was fading quickly though. However, Alan wasn't.
"Trying to get some peace of mind." I whispered softly, but regretted it the moment I felt my arm twist behind my back. I squinted my eyes in pain, but bit the scream back.
"Be grateful I even called last night." He breathed into my ear, his hot breath sending shivers down my back. I refused to feel his fury.
He laced his fingers with mine gently, pulling himself together slowly, then tugged me along after I had gotten my backpack out of the trunk. So long dear blue, rusty car with your leather top and beautiful crystal clear windows and bald tires. At least, so long for eight hours of treacherous hell.
Alan was not exactly popular in the school, though he was a legend in the ears of many and eye candy to those who were unable to reach him. But he had a lot of 'contacts', is what I should really call them instead of friends like what he considers them to be. They are just people that he walks up to, says "Hi, how are you?" And then proceeds to walk away because he honestly doesn't really care about them, like he honestly doesn't care about me.
I closed my eyes breathlessly, wondering what it would feel like to hold my breath long enough to pass myself out. Who knows how long I'd be able to feel blissful peacefulness that, even though there would only be blackness that surrounds me, I'd enjoy every second of my collapse. There I go. Imagining what it would be like to feel non-existent again.
"Your thinking again?" Alan pointed out as he opened the door for me. I wanted to scoff. He's anything but a gentleman.
"Yes. I think a lot."
"Unfortunately." He spoke under his breath just before he let go of my hand and screamed a hello to one of his close and personal friends. An actually friend. And they hugged too, a manly hug plus a corny pat on the back. I felt like rolling my eyes, but his other friend, Joe, was watching me with those creepy black eyes of his. I hated him.
Strongly disliked, no, loathed that kid for very specific reasons. He's a pervert. Not just because he's a hormonal teenage boy with a sex drive to make us all happy, minus me of course. He's just messed up in the head. Calling my house at night telling me he's watched me undress and he likes to sneak into my room and smell my underwear. He gives me the chills every time I'm around him. He's a ghost, my ghost perhaps, in the way that he stalks me. I can't tell anyone though. No body. Not even Alan, if it was worth the time anyway.
"How was your weekend?" The one he hugged, Tyler, who's just a pothead with enough bottles of eye drops to last him a lifetime, asked Alan as he wiggled his eyebrows at me. I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for Alan's answer.
"I've got no game with her man." I heard him whisper, obviously not soft enough if I could catch it from four feet away.
"Just make her." Tyler pushed, but Alan shook his head with reluctance. I let myself feel both of them, catching a whiff of impatience from Tyler and desire and disappointment, even rage from Alan. What was Tyler so impatient about? Some bet they made to see how soon I'd crack and let Alan have me? No, the one thing Alan's been able to let me keep so far was my virginity. But the desire and rage in him made me worry just how long it would still be mine.
After what felt like a couple minutes, I lifted my head to see the snow falling and melting on the dark blue hood of my car. It had been snowing all night, and hopefully it'd stop soon before the roads get too slushy. I looked at my cellphone, fat, and dark blue, with a qwerty keyboard. It's still the same time it was when I turned off the car. Time is going by too slowly for me.
For some reason, that made me think of the boy who delivered the take out last night. His face, and the calm feeling I felt when I opened the door. For some reason, it seemed like he was masking his emotions, like he knew I was doing it, even if I didn't realize I was. Not until now, not until I've had time to filter the details of the way he made me feel did I realize I was doing it. And his eyes. Those seemed to be permanently burned in the back of my skull.
BOOM! against the car window, and I jumped in my seat, hitting my head against the ceiling of the car. It's not a very big car anyway.
"What the fuck are you doing?" Alan yelled as I opened my door, rubbing the top of my head where it seemed to hurt most. The pain was fading quickly though. However, Alan wasn't.
"Trying to get some peace of mind." I whispered softly, but regretted it the moment I felt my arm twist behind my back. I squinted my eyes in pain, but bit the scream back.
"Be grateful I even called last night." He breathed into my ear, his hot breath sending shivers down my back. I refused to feel his fury.
He laced his fingers with mine gently, pulling himself together slowly, then tugged me along after I had gotten my backpack out of the trunk. So long dear blue, rusty car with your leather top and beautiful crystal clear windows and bald tires. At least, so long for eight hours of treacherous hell.
Alan was not exactly popular in the school, though he was a legend in the ears of many and eye candy to those who were unable to reach him. But he had a lot of 'contacts', is what I should really call them instead of friends like what he considers them to be. They are just people that he walks up to, says "Hi, how are you?" And then proceeds to walk away because he honestly doesn't really care about them, like he honestly doesn't care about me.
I closed my eyes breathlessly, wondering what it would feel like to hold my breath long enough to pass myself out. Who knows how long I'd be able to feel blissful peacefulness that, even though there would only be blackness that surrounds me, I'd enjoy every second of my collapse. There I go. Imagining what it would be like to feel non-existent again.
"Your thinking again?" Alan pointed out as he opened the door for me. I wanted to scoff. He's anything but a gentleman.
"Yes. I think a lot."
"Unfortunately." He spoke under his breath just before he let go of my hand and screamed a hello to one of his close and personal friends. An actually friend. And they hugged too, a manly hug plus a corny pat on the back. I felt like rolling my eyes, but his other friend, Joe, was watching me with those creepy black eyes of his. I hated him.
Strongly disliked, no, loathed that kid for very specific reasons. He's a pervert. Not just because he's a hormonal teenage boy with a sex drive to make us all happy, minus me of course. He's just messed up in the head. Calling my house at night telling me he's watched me undress and he likes to sneak into my room and smell my underwear. He gives me the chills every time I'm around him. He's a ghost, my ghost perhaps, in the way that he stalks me. I can't tell anyone though. No body. Not even Alan, if it was worth the time anyway.
"How was your weekend?" The one he hugged, Tyler, who's just a pothead with enough bottles of eye drops to last him a lifetime, asked Alan as he wiggled his eyebrows at me. I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for Alan's answer.
"I've got no game with her man." I heard him whisper, obviously not soft enough if I could catch it from four feet away.
"Just make her." Tyler pushed, but Alan shook his head with reluctance. I let myself feel both of them, catching a whiff of impatience from Tyler and desire and disappointment, even rage from Alan. What was Tyler so impatient about? Some bet they made to see how soon I'd crack and let Alan have me? No, the one thing Alan's been able to let me keep so far was my virginity. But the desire and rage in him made me worry just how long it would still be mine.