Pain Without Love, What Else Is There?
Trust In Me
"I think that fall killed my back", I stretched as we sat in the camp just thinking of how we were going to capture the Sheriff's spy that was coming into town.
"At least you're not dead,"Much pointed out like it was the worst thing.
"I could've gotten out of that,"I smiled at him with a shrug,"Trust me, I know things too."
"No one said you didn't,"John added,"But you're alive."
"I know,"I nodded as I stretched,"Ok my back is killing me."
"She's not going to stop complaining about that,"Djaq smirked as I sent her a glare.
"It just really hurts,"I pouted as I caught Allan's eye for a second but looked away,"I think I'm going to take a walk."
"But I thought-"Much started but I cut him off.
"Being in a cell twice in one night puts a lot in perspective. I need to clear my head."
Getting up from my spot, I had Mateo follow me as I walked up and down the trails, lightly stepping on the ground, careful not to make a sound against the twigs. I knew I was being followed though, the small twig that snapped behind me as a dead give away even though they weren't trying to be noticed.
"I know you're there Locksely,"I smiled to myself as I heard the footsteps get closer to me.
"How did you-"
"That twig,"I turned around to look at him with a smile as I kept walking with him.
"Are you ok?"
"Fine, just sore but."
"No, I mean you seem like you know something,"Robin sighed as he looked at me.
"I just realized some things is all,"I shrugged as he stopped me to have me look at him.
"Things? What things?"
"What matters most to me in my life. Who matters most."
"What did you realize?"Robin spoke softly as I looked into his eyes for a second.
"That I've killed more people that I've let on,"I gave him a light smile,"That I've got so many layers that it's hard just to shed one. Losing one, will mean opening another which I don't know if people are ready for yet."
"I think I can handle that."
"See, that's the thing,"I sighed as I turned to start walking again,"I hear people say that but when they hear what I've done, where I've been, it changes them. It makes them think of me as less lady like."
"Lady like?"Robin asked as we walked.
"I know I told you my family were gypsies right?"
"Yes."
"They are,"I nodded,"But they haven't always been."
"What are you talking about?"He watched me as I stopped to pick a small flower and place it behind my ear.
"My mom was Romanian, ruled a provence for many years, the same one her family ruled for centuries, then these men, they came in, different views on religion, ways of living, they started taking over, kicking out the ones who believed in loving everything about the earth, that it all had a spirit, out of town. That's how my family started becoming gypsies. I never told anyone because we were outcasted, thrown to outside world, no longer allowed to be a part of what I knew for the few years. Then when my mom went Will's father, well it just furthered her into being exiled."
"Why didn't you tell anyone?"
"Because what good would it do? My family name is already exiled and me being born out of wedlock, I had no right to say anything to anyone. Plus believing what I believe in didn't help either."
"Why come clean now instead of when you first met us?"
"Because Robin,"I smiled at him,"I know they mean well and they're family but I trust you with this out of the rest of them. As stupid as that sounds, I trust you with my life and that includes knowing my past."
"How many people have you killed?"Robin asked as I smiled lightly then walked off a bit.
"Is that important?"
"It is."
"Robin,"I sighed looking at him,"It was a while ago, it's a long complex story for another time. Please try to be patient with me."
"I trust you,"He took my hand to stop me as I looked at him.
"Thank you."
"You can't think we won't trust you,"He played with my fingers lightly as we stood there over watching a valley below.
"I don't."
"In order for us to work,"He looked into my eyes as I fell into his,"You have to trust me. We need to be honest with each other."
I nodded as his lips met mine in a soft kiss which I didn't want to end but the sound of a carriage and horse hooves were in the distance.
"Meet me here tonight,"Robin kissed my cheek as I smiled as I followed him back to the camp.
"At least you're not dead,"Much pointed out like it was the worst thing.
"I could've gotten out of that,"I smiled at him with a shrug,"Trust me, I know things too."
"No one said you didn't,"John added,"But you're alive."
"I know,"I nodded as I stretched,"Ok my back is killing me."
"She's not going to stop complaining about that,"Djaq smirked as I sent her a glare.
"It just really hurts,"I pouted as I caught Allan's eye for a second but looked away,"I think I'm going to take a walk."
"But I thought-"Much started but I cut him off.
"Being in a cell twice in one night puts a lot in perspective. I need to clear my head."
Getting up from my spot, I had Mateo follow me as I walked up and down the trails, lightly stepping on the ground, careful not to make a sound against the twigs. I knew I was being followed though, the small twig that snapped behind me as a dead give away even though they weren't trying to be noticed.
"I know you're there Locksely,"I smiled to myself as I heard the footsteps get closer to me.
"How did you-"
"That twig,"I turned around to look at him with a smile as I kept walking with him.
"Are you ok?"
"Fine, just sore but."
"No, I mean you seem like you know something,"Robin sighed as he looked at me.
"I just realized some things is all,"I shrugged as he stopped me to have me look at him.
"Things? What things?"
"What matters most to me in my life. Who matters most."
"What did you realize?"Robin spoke softly as I looked into his eyes for a second.
"That I've killed more people that I've let on,"I gave him a light smile,"That I've got so many layers that it's hard just to shed one. Losing one, will mean opening another which I don't know if people are ready for yet."
"I think I can handle that."
"See, that's the thing,"I sighed as I turned to start walking again,"I hear people say that but when they hear what I've done, where I've been, it changes them. It makes them think of me as less lady like."
"Lady like?"Robin asked as we walked.
"I know I told you my family were gypsies right?"
"Yes."
"They are,"I nodded,"But they haven't always been."
"What are you talking about?"He watched me as I stopped to pick a small flower and place it behind my ear.
"My mom was Romanian, ruled a provence for many years, the same one her family ruled for centuries, then these men, they came in, different views on religion, ways of living, they started taking over, kicking out the ones who believed in loving everything about the earth, that it all had a spirit, out of town. That's how my family started becoming gypsies. I never told anyone because we were outcasted, thrown to outside world, no longer allowed to be a part of what I knew for the few years. Then when my mom went Will's father, well it just furthered her into being exiled."
"Why didn't you tell anyone?"
"Because what good would it do? My family name is already exiled and me being born out of wedlock, I had no right to say anything to anyone. Plus believing what I believe in didn't help either."
"Why come clean now instead of when you first met us?"
"Because Robin,"I smiled at him,"I know they mean well and they're family but I trust you with this out of the rest of them. As stupid as that sounds, I trust you with my life and that includes knowing my past."
"How many people have you killed?"Robin asked as I smiled lightly then walked off a bit.
"Is that important?"
"It is."
"Robin,"I sighed looking at him,"It was a while ago, it's a long complex story for another time. Please try to be patient with me."
"I trust you,"He took my hand to stop me as I looked at him.
"Thank you."
"You can't think we won't trust you,"He played with my fingers lightly as we stood there over watching a valley below.
"I don't."
"In order for us to work,"He looked into my eyes as I fell into his,"You have to trust me. We need to be honest with each other."
I nodded as his lips met mine in a soft kiss which I didn't want to end but the sound of a carriage and horse hooves were in the distance.
"Meet me here tonight,"Robin kissed my cheek as I smiled as I followed him back to the camp.