I Have Been Right All Along

SARA'S POV

I wake up to the buzzing of my cell phone. It’s about 12:30pm and Brendon is texting me, wondering if I want to get lunch with him. I’m actually quite surprised that he is out of bed already.

I crawl out of my bunk and head to the bathroom all the while texting Brendon, informing him that I would love to have lunch with him. Suddenly I bump into something. Something warm and sturdy…something that makes and ‘uuf’ sound when we collide.

“Good morning,” the thing I bumped into says. I look up and see Josh momentarily before being wrapped up in a hug. Crap. We’re dating now. I completely forgot. I mentally slap myself for agreeing to date him, but hug him back nonetheless.

“Good morning, Joshua, how’d you sleep?” I ask.

“I slept great, what about you? You didn’t come and tell me you were going to bed last night.”

“I’m sorry; I just kind of went to bed without thinking about it. I slept okay, no unusual dreams, unfortunately, otherwise I’d probably have something more interesting to talk about,” I laugh, trying to be humorous and pleasant towards Josh. It’s really quite awkward to be around him right now since we’re ‘dating’ and all.

My cell phone buzzes in my hand, signaling Brendon’s reply telling me that he’s currently waiting outside of the bus just in case I’m “walking around naked”. I laugh out loud, and immediately cover my mouth with my hand.

“Has he been texting you all night?” Josh asks, a hint of jealousy present in his voice as he looks down at the screen of my cell phone. Nosy much?

“No he hasn’t, he just wants me to go out to lunch with him,” I tell him. “Would you like to come along?”

Dangit. I would have to ask. I really don’t want him to go but since we’re ‘dating’ I probably should.

“Yeah sure! Where are you guys going?”

“I have no idea. Brendon’s just outside if you’d like to go ask him while I get dressed,” I say, making my way around Josh to the bunks. I grab my suitcase and pull out an outfit for today while Josh goes to greet Brendon.

I quickly change and hurry out to the front of the bus where Josh and Brendon are currently conversing. Brendon immediately looks at me, smiling widely with his perfect teeth. My heart melts at his huge grin.

“Did I wake you up?” Brendon asks, his eyebrows scrunched together.

“Yeah, but it’s totally fine! I’m starving anyways.”

“You can hit me if you’d like,” he says, holding out his arm. “I know I wouldn’t be the happiest person in the world if someone woke me up at 12:30 in the afternoon.”

I laugh, “I’m not going to hit you, I’m not that mean. I may want to hit you, but I will probably avoid doing so.”

“Okay good!” he blurts out with a breath.

“Though I’m not sure that it’d hurt, you probably hit like a girl,” he says nonchalantly as he walks towards the door of the bus.

“Hey!” I yell out, following behind Josh.

“Maybe I should have hit you, Brendon, you little jerk,” I say jokingly.

I step out onto the grass where Brendon is waiting for Josh and me.

“Well you can still hit me if you want,” he says, offering up his arm once again. I look at it for a moment, seriously considering hitting him but can’t seem to bring myself to do it. I’m not a fan of hitting people.

“You’re out of this one, Urie, but next time, maybe not,” I say, smiling sweetly. “And I don’t hit like a girl, just so you know.”

“So you and Sara are together?” Brendon asks Josh, fully aware that we indeed are together.

“Word travels fast, doesn’t it Sara?” Josh asks me, sounding a little ticked off.

The three of us are eating at a local diner, all waiting for our check to arrive. I swear the service here isn’t that great for being the “Best Local Diner” in this city.

I don’t look at Josh to my right; I just roll my eyes at Brendon, hoping we can get out of this place soon.

“Yes, Josh, word travels fast. Did you not want me to tell anyone? Because I don’t remember you saying anything to me about that,” I reply, looking down at my empty plate. I can see the reflections from the hideous fluorescent lighting shining down onto my plate.

“Stop getting mad at me,” Josh says quietly.

The table is silent for a few moments, minus the sound of Brendon drinking through his straw as I watch the liquid in his cup disappear.

“Sorry I asked,” Brendon says, taking the straw out of his mouth as the contents of his drink are now gone.

“No, you’re fine. Josh is just being a little bitch right now,” I say politely to Brendon, looking him in the eyes. The look on his face is kind of hilarious. He looks like he just wants to leave, not wanting to be the cause of Josh and mine’s argument anymore.

“Maybe it’s because you’ve been less than enthusiastic about us being together, Sara, not to mention you’ve told the whole world that we’re dating.”

“Brendon, you’re the whole world!” I say sarcastically to Brendon, causing Josh to become even more upset.

Brendon just scratches his head as Josh and I continue to argue.

“Who else have you told? I know Hayley knows,” Josh asks, irritation present in his voice.

“I’m not the one who told Hayley.”

“Then who did? I sure didn’t.”

“What does it matter? She’s my best friend, why is it not okay that she knows?”

“Then why does Brendon know? I bet you told him immediately because you two are basically joined at the hip,” Josh replies nastily. I finally look at him.

“In case you live under a rock, Josh, you and I aren’t meant to be together. I do not want to date you, and I have never wanted to date you. You’re one of my best friends and this whole dating thing is really difficult for me to handle. I want my best friend Josh back, I don’t want ‘my boyfriend Josh’ anymore, I want ‘my best friend Josh’.”

Josh just stares at me and Brendon clears his throat.

“I’m going to go get our bill, I don’t think our waitress is coming back,” Brendon says quickly before getting up, leaving Josh and I alone in the booth.

“We’re not going to end this less than 24 hours into a relationship, are we?” Josh asks quietly, staring at me. The space between us is seemingly expanding, it’s like we’re not even dating anyways. I just want my best friend back and all he wants is for us to be dating. Does he even care about our friendship anymore?

“No we’re not. But just so you know, this relationship really doesn’t mean much to me, I just want my best friend back,” I say, sliding myself out of the booth and heading out of the door.

I sit down on a bench placed next to the doors of the restaurant and wait for Brendon and Josh.

After a minute, I hear the bells on the door ring.

Josh walks out and mumbles to me, “I’m going back to the bus,” before walking off alone, hands in his pockets and head hanging low.

I watch him for a few minutes, feeling terrible for making him upset but I can’t really help it. I’m not about to keep how I feel to myself. Josh needs to know and he has turned a deaf ear to me since the beginning. It’s about time he started listening.

The bells ring again and this time it’s Brendon.

“He’s that upset, huh,” Brendon says, glancing at Josh’s shrinking figure.

“I suppose he is, but there’s nothing I can do about that.”

“Let’s go back to the buses. You can hang out on my bus if you want.”

“Sounds good to me,” I say, getting up from the bench.

Brendon and I walk back to the buses in silence. I can’t say I feel good about Josh finally listening to me, but I do feel a sense of relief.

The buses come into view, though they’re still far away. Josh is nowhere in sight. I guess he’s picked up his pace or has taken a detour. Either way, he probably just wants to be alone. Brendon’s hand bumps into mine before he lightly grabs at it, grasping my hand firmly. We weave our fingers together and I turn to look at him.

“I feel bad holding your hand. Josh and I are together,” I say, laughing at how ridiculous I sound.

“He’s not around. Besides, you don’t really like him so it’s not like you two should even be dating. It’s not going to last,” he replies, dropping my hand.

“Yeah, we’ll I’m still giving him a chance. That’s all he asked of me. Things could change between him and me,” I say, looking at Brendon next to me. The buses are now in front of us and we head straight for his.

The look on his face reveals hurt. I guess today is the day where I see how many people’s feelings I can hurt. Maybe I can set a new personal record or something.

Brendon holds the bus door open for me and I head inside in front of him. No one is on the bus. They’re probably all at catering which leaves Brendon and I alone. I plop down on the couch and watch Brendon head towards the fridge. Opening it, he takes out a Red Bull.

“Look, Brendon, all Josh asked me for is to give him a chance,” I say, but he cuts me off before I can continue.

“Well what happened to me being everything you’ve ever looked for in a guy, Sara? How can you tell me that and then the next day date someone else and say that you’re feelings for him could change? What happens to me?”

He takes a seat at the small table located across from the couch.

“I’m sorry, Bren. I guess I’m just confused. I try to make everyone else around me happy before I let myself be happy. Josh just happened to be at the right place at the right time, I guess. He caught me at a time where I was just fed up and ready for him to leave me alone. I agreed to date him just to please him and make him shut up about giving him a chance.”

He doesn’t say a word, just keeps sipping on his Red Bull.

“I just need to get this sorted out. And I’m going to give Josh a chance because I told him I would and I’d be a total bitch if I didn’t,” I say, getting up and sitting across from Brendon at the table.

“Look…I just need time. Everything will work out, I swear.”

“If you don’t need me-“ he starts, but I cut him off.

“I never said that I didn’t need you-“

“But you implied it.”

“I didn’t mean to imply it and I’m sorry if I did.”

All is silent for a few minutes as we each let everything said sink in.

“So my plan for the current situation is this: I’m going to give Josh a chance, just like he asked me to. I can’t promise that nothing will happen, but I highly doubt anything will. I still mean everything I said to you so nothing has changed in that regard.”

Brendon wipes off the condensation on his Red Bull, watching the water droplets slide down the can.

“That’s good to hear,” he says quietly. “I’m not mad or anything, just so you know.”

“Well you can be mad at me if you’d like, I kind of deserve it,” I say. Brendon’s eyes dart up, looking me straight in the eyes.

“No you don’t, Sara, don’t say that,” he says, I just stare at him.

“You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have everything you’ve ever wanted and I just want you to be happy even if that means dating Josh. I’m not going to sit here and tell you to date me because I want you to do what you want. I’m not mad at you and I have no reason to be mad at you. I’m just frustrated because I know for a fact that Josh isn’t the one for you.”

I can feel a smile start to form and butterflies in my stomach. I really need to break up with Josh as soon as possible. Or as soon as it would be fair to Josh, I suppose. Brendon is too sweet, he really is. No guy has ever told me that I deserve to be happy and have anything I’ve ever wanted.

All Josh ever said to me was how much he wanted me to date him, not even taking into consideration that I was totally not into that idea. And here is Brendon, telling me that he doesn’t mind if I date the wrong person because if that’s what makes me happy, then he’s happy for me.