I Have Been Right All Along

SARA’S POV

Three thirty in the morning and somehow I am still awake. We are all in an airport in the middle of nowhere. Tomorrow is the big mid-tour show in LA.

The airport here is deserted, sans everyone on tour, which isn’t a lot of people for an airport. I have had hard time keeping my eyes open waiting for our flight to Los Angeles to be called.

To my right is Brendon. He’s quietly messing around on his iPhone and has been for the past hour. He hasn’t said much to me as we sit here in the airport, but I’m fine with that. I’m too tired to hold a conversation, much less follow along with one.

My cell phone is tucked snugly into my jeans pocket, but I quickly pry it out after the vibration signaling a text message. It's from Brendon.

I glance over at him, confused, but he doesn’t look at me, just keeps his eyes on his phone as if he didn’t just send me a text.

“Don’t fall asleep,” I read. I blink my eyes at the screen, not sure what to reply.

“Don’t wake me up if I do,” I say out loud, looking at Brendon. He smiles down at his phone, showing his perfect teeth.

I pocket my phone and lean my head on the back of the chair. I can feel myself drifting off to sleep.

------

It is after lunchtime in LA. I can barely remember our flight being called, and I was definitely sleeping for the entire plane ride here.

Everyone is done eating at catering, having conversations with each other. They’re all excited for the big show tonight. Each band is going to play for as long as they would if they were the headliners. It's going to be a long show.

I sit at a table by myself. I still haven't gotten a chance to really talk to Brendon, I've still been kind of avoiding him. I scoot my chair back and gather my trash and head towards the trashcan.

I am in such a daze that I don’t realize Brendon is trying to get my attention until I feel his hand lightly grabbing my shoulder.

“Oh, shit, Brendon, are you trying to give me a heart attack?” I whirl around, flinging the remains of my lunch on the ground.

“I didn’t plan on it,” he says coolly, giving me a sly smile.

I laugh and bend down to pick up what I can and throw it away.

“I’ve been following you and saying your name ever since you got up from the table,” he says. I turn around and give him an apologetic look.

“Sorry, I’m still half asleep I guess.”

“I would say so. I was wanting to know if you'd like to talk?"

"Um...sure. When?"

"How about during Paramore's soundcheck, in their dressing room?"

"Okay. I'll wait for you there."

He flashes me a smile and pats my shoulder saying, "Great!" before running off into the venue for Panic's soundcheck.

I head back to the bus and lie down in my bunk. I attempt to think about what I want to say to Brendon later, but jet lag catches up to me and I fall asleep.

------

I wake up with a jolt, immediately knowing I didn't wake up in time to talk to Brendon. I reach over to my cell phone and see that I missed three calls and six texts from Brendon, and two calls and one text from Hayley, all asking where I am.

I let out deep breath. Guess they didn't check the bus.

I slide out of my bunk and stumble into the front of the bus where it's totally dark. I find my shoes in front of the couch and slip them on before I head into the venue to find Brendon.

Inside, the halls are filled with the sounds of Fall Out Boy playing their set. I wander around the halls, eventually stumbling upon the dressing rooms.

I knock on Panic's door and am greeted by Ryan, who lets me in immediately.

The mood in the dressing room is somber. It’s virtually quiet. Spencer sits on the couch on his laptop with headphones on watching a movie; only the dull sound of the actors’ voices can be heard. Jon is sleeping on the other couch breathing heavily. I don’t see Brendon but, judging from the sound of water running in the bathroom, I can guess he’s in the shower.

Ryan heads to the bathroom door and, without knocking, goes inside.

“Jesus Christ, Ryan!” I hear Brendon yell.

“Shut up, people are asleep, idiot,” Ryan mumbles.

I hear some undecipherable arguing, my name, and some more of Ryan calling Brendon an idiot before Ryan casually walks out of the bathroom, the door clicking shut behind him.

“Do you want anything to drink?” he asks quietly, pointing to the small refrigerator at the back of the room.

“Sure, water’s fine,” I reply quietly. The shower turns off in the bathroom.

Ryan wanders over to the fridge and grabs a water bottle and brings it over to me. I thank him for it, taking a seat on the coffee table.

The sound of things being slammed around in the bathroom can be heard. Ryan gets up and quickly heads to the bathroom.

He peeks in and says sternly, “Brendon. Stop.”

Brendon mumbles a few things I can’t quite understand.

“I don’t care. You’re being rude,” Ryan says, giving Brendon an uncompromising look before quietly closing the door.

Ryan sits down on the couch next to Spencer, absentmindedly staring at the movie on the screen. I can tell he’s not really watching it, but thinking about something else.

Brendon opens the bathroom door and I turn my gaze to him. He looks at no one as he carries his things across the room, letting the bathroom door slam behind him.

This wakes Jon up, but Brendon doesn’t care. I sit there and watch him put his dirty clothes in his suitcase. He grabs his cell phone and leaves the dressing room without a single word.

I immediately get off the coffee table and head out the door. I look to my left and see Brendon walking away and head towards him.

“Brendon,” I say loudly, but he doesn’t respond. I say his name again and he stops. I hurry towards him and he drops his arms to his side as he turns around and spots me.

“Brendon, I'm sorry,” I say, looking intently into his eyes.

“I don’t want to talk to you right now,” he says quietly. His face reveals hurt as he turns on his heel and continues walking away.

I stand there for a few more moments. I'd run after him again, but I know he won't talk to me. I know how he gets. So I head towards the stage to watch the show Fall Out Boy is putting on.

Lights flash across the stage frantically as Fall Out Boy play the final songs of their set. Paramore plays next, leaving them the last to play tonight.

I figure I should let Hayley know I'm alive before she goes on stage. I don't want her to worry during their show.

I head to Paramore's dressing room, peeking my head in the door, "Hayley!"

"Sara! Where were you? Brendon and I tried calling and texting you."

"I fell asleep in the bus."

"Makes sense. Brendon was kind of pissed, thought you were avoiding him."

"Yeah, he's still mad. He wouldn't let me talk to him, let alone even tell him where I was."

"He'll come around."

"We need to warm up in a minute," Jeremy says from the couch.

"Alright," I sigh, smiling.

"I'll head out of here so you guys can do yo' thang."