Wires
Chapter Four
I sometimes wonder if I have strayed from the point of this retelling already. The point is supposed to be Nancy on the 17th of July, 2005, but I am focusing so much on Gabriel. He is the reason, he is the cause, and this relies on him, but I don't think Nancy would be very happy with this explanation. I loved Nancy despite how much she confused me when she was with Gabe. She was my best friend.
I don't know whether or not Nancy saw the Gabriel the rest of the world saw, or if she only saw her Gabe.
One thing I was sure of was that no one saw Gabe as she and I did. He and Nancy had never been together without me present. It had somehow turned into some sort of routine, and while it confused me, by mid-2004 I was flattered. We never spoke to anyone else when Nancy and Gabe were together.
They were the strangest pair I had ever seen, and I think in some ways that worked well. I had never seen Nancy so happy in my entire life, and she'd never stayed with a boy almost two years before, either. Everything seemed so ease less when they were together, and even I took it for granted that it would be forever.
Gabe's nonsensical words stopped mattering to me. I just didn't speak to him, only to Nancy. I realized that following wires was pointless, because I was never going to get anywhere with Gabe. I did believe, however, that I would get somewhere with Gabriel, who I suspected had no wires at all. Gabriel, in a way, was so much less interesting than Gabe. I guessed that if Nancy had been dating Gabriel, they would have broken up a long time ago. Maybe this could have been avoided.
To me, Gabriel was even more intriguing. Perhaps this was purely because I didn't see him very often, or maybe it was because I knew that Nancy was unaware of his existence.
The only problem was when I went too far.
On the 30th of August, 2004, I called Gabriel. He answered and I knew it was him because of the way he spoke – so easy to understand. It made me smile.
We went to the library and sat on the comfortable chairs while I ignored the book I had grabbed off the shelf in favor of talking to him. Without Nancy present, I asked him everything I had never been able to ask him before. I asked him about his family, his favorite color, his favorite food. Everything he couldn't answer before, because he made no sense to me.
I vaguely wondered if Nancy had extracted these petty facts from his strange words, or if they just didn't matter to her at all.
I was too frightened to ask him about Gabe. The question was swelling on my tongue, but as I listened to him tell me about his sister I realized that I wouldn't like any answer he could give me. The idea that he knew Gabe existed – perhaps had even purposefully created him – was terrifying. But equally terrifying was the idea that he had no clue.
He remembered me fine. He smiled at me, recalled my name, and knew that we barely knew anything about each other. Could he remember me if he wasn't aware of his counterpart that spent a majority of his time with me?
I didn't want to know what Gabe was. But that was because I didn't want his confusing tendencies tainting the simple Gabriel I had befriended. I didn't like that they were combined, and so different.
We spent the whole day talking, I didn't want to stop. I felt I still had so much I wanted to know. I wanted to feel like I knew every crevice of his mind, and I wanted him to feel like he knew mine as well.
On the 30th of August, 2004, I stood on the library steps and kissed Gabriel Saporta. I had never been happier.
I don't know whether or not Nancy saw the Gabriel the rest of the world saw, or if she only saw her Gabe.
One thing I was sure of was that no one saw Gabe as she and I did. He and Nancy had never been together without me present. It had somehow turned into some sort of routine, and while it confused me, by mid-2004 I was flattered. We never spoke to anyone else when Nancy and Gabe were together.
They were the strangest pair I had ever seen, and I think in some ways that worked well. I had never seen Nancy so happy in my entire life, and she'd never stayed with a boy almost two years before, either. Everything seemed so ease less when they were together, and even I took it for granted that it would be forever.
Gabe's nonsensical words stopped mattering to me. I just didn't speak to him, only to Nancy. I realized that following wires was pointless, because I was never going to get anywhere with Gabe. I did believe, however, that I would get somewhere with Gabriel, who I suspected had no wires at all. Gabriel, in a way, was so much less interesting than Gabe. I guessed that if Nancy had been dating Gabriel, they would have broken up a long time ago. Maybe this could have been avoided.
To me, Gabriel was even more intriguing. Perhaps this was purely because I didn't see him very often, or maybe it was because I knew that Nancy was unaware of his existence.
The only problem was when I went too far.
On the 30th of August, 2004, I called Gabriel. He answered and I knew it was him because of the way he spoke – so easy to understand. It made me smile.
We went to the library and sat on the comfortable chairs while I ignored the book I had grabbed off the shelf in favor of talking to him. Without Nancy present, I asked him everything I had never been able to ask him before. I asked him about his family, his favorite color, his favorite food. Everything he couldn't answer before, because he made no sense to me.
I vaguely wondered if Nancy had extracted these petty facts from his strange words, or if they just didn't matter to her at all.
I was too frightened to ask him about Gabe. The question was swelling on my tongue, but as I listened to him tell me about his sister I realized that I wouldn't like any answer he could give me. The idea that he knew Gabe existed – perhaps had even purposefully created him – was terrifying. But equally terrifying was the idea that he had no clue.
He remembered me fine. He smiled at me, recalled my name, and knew that we barely knew anything about each other. Could he remember me if he wasn't aware of his counterpart that spent a majority of his time with me?
I didn't want to know what Gabe was. But that was because I didn't want his confusing tendencies tainting the simple Gabriel I had befriended. I didn't like that they were combined, and so different.
We spent the whole day talking, I didn't want to stop. I felt I still had so much I wanted to know. I wanted to feel like I knew every crevice of his mind, and I wanted him to feel like he knew mine as well.
On the 30th of August, 2004, I stood on the library steps and kissed Gabriel Saporta. I had never been happier.