Return To Sender

Mikey's fingers are shaking as he dials Frank's number, the small piece of paper it's written on quivering in his hands. Mr. Murphy is lying on his bed beside him, practically mocking him as the moon illuminates it. On the other end, he hears a pre-recorded message saying Frank's phone is off and he throws his phone across the room, nearly tossing it out the window.

It hits the ground ringing.

Scrambling off his bed, he immediately flips it open, panting as he presses it hard to his ear.

"Frank? Did you kill Juan?" he whispers, aware of quiet murmuring outside his bedroom door as Gerard tries to pick the lock.

"I did it for you. I love you Mikey."

"I need to see you." With this, Mikey hangs up and quickly pulls a shirt over his head before scrambling out his window. He's walking away towards the back of his yard when he hears Gerard finally succeed in breaking into his room.

"Mikey!" He's wailing loud enough to wake up half the neighborhood and Mikey winces, hating the sound of his name flowing out from those shredded lips. The Way's property ends with an eight foot tall hedge, separating their "perfection" from the chaos of an abandoned apartment building at the bottom of a steep incline.

For a brief moment, as he stands in front of this ugly, dark wall that just creates another barrier between him and the life he desires, he considers turning around and going back inside to wait things out. Maybe if he just goes to sleep, then things will be better when he wakes up in the morning.

His brother screams his name again and he instantly dives into the hedge, allowing the sharp twigs scratching at his skin to drown out the flashbacks of Gerard's lips on his ear. All of Juan's hard work is going out the window as he tears frantically, feeling blood dripping down his arms and neck. His eyes are shut tightly and as he gropes blindly, hoping he won't stumble over a hidden rock, he wishes he had his glasses back to protect him.

And then he's breathing in cold air instead of plant dust and he automatically stops himself before he tumbles down the hill. Even though the hedge was only a few feet thick, three at the most, he feels like he's stepped into a different world. The upper floors of the apartment building, empty shells, loom against the sky, a stark metal framework crossing over the full moon. The lower floors would have been ready for habitation if the company paying for the construction hadn't of went under. Mikey can see the outlines of porches, doors, win-

There's a light on.

For a second, Mikey thinks he's imagining it until he watches the silhouette of someone pass by the window. He slowly starts descending down the hill, rocks slipping from underneath his feet as he keeps his eyes fixed on his destination. This couldn't be happening, how would he get electricity, how is he so close?

The apartment is a corner one on the first floor, one which would have been the cheapest in the building simply because the view would be hideous.

"Mikey!" The voice isn't rough and torn like his brother's and the goosebumps that pop up this time aren't the bad kind. Frank is highlighted in the light spilling from inside as he stands on the concrete porch, gripping the railing tightly.

The entire time, he'd been so close. So close and yet, Mikey feels like he's a city away from his house. Him and Frank are from two separate worlds and this never feels more evident as when they collapse against each other, the railing marking Mikey's back as he slumps against it. He can smell blood on Frank's neck as he burrows his nose against his skin, eyes shut tightly.

"I love you," he murmurs over and over again, unable to stop the words even if he wanted to. "You shouldn't have done that for me."

"But you wanted it," Frank says, stepping away and pulling Mikey into the apartment. "You wanted him dead. If I hadn't of killed him, he would have went from fucking your mother to fucking you, he would have hurt you and no one hurts my better half."

"I'm your better half?" Mikey smiles, although he knows he should be more concerned about the allegations Frank just spewed about Juan.

"Of course you are. You're the only person who has ever meant this much to me." The apartment is sparsely furnished, with only the kitchen and living room appearing to be lived in. Other than one door that gapes open to reveal the bathroom and the patio they just came through, every other exit is boarded off with two by fours. Frank turns off the light, although the room is still illuminated by the moonlight pouring in.

"Your father would never kill for your mother," he says, leading Mikey across the room and around his few items of furniture. "Your parents represent everything that is wrong with relationships. They dote on each other, give each other plastic surgery as gifts and strive for perfection in the other's eyes. However, what they can't give each other is love, because they don't have it."

"Your parents are seeking the youth they don't have," he continues, sitting down on the end of his bed and bringing Mikey with him. "They have affairs with people young enough to be their sons because they want to be you. They never kick Gerard out because they wish they could get away with injecting heroin every night."

"And what about me?" Mikey asks, shifting so that his feet are curled underneath him. "Why haven't they committed me to a mental hospital yet?"

"Because you're not crazy," he whispers, one hand cradling Mikey's cheek, who arches into it like a cat. "You're the only one who can see what's really going on in your world and you're just trying to escape. Why are you crazy for that?"

Frank kisses him and Mikey automatically reaches out for his shirt, pulling it up over his stomach. However, before he can yank it off, he's lying flat on his back, having been pushed over by Frank. His breathe is warm and tempting against Mikey's skin, erasing all the memories of Gerard's tainted lips.

"Mikey, I'll do anything to keep you safe," he murmurs, lying on his side with one hand absently trailing up and down Mikey's chest. "No matter what happens, just tell me and you'll never have to worry about it again."

"Just say the word and you can have anything you want." Mikey's heart is pounding hard in his chest and he's scared he might go into cardiac arrest.

"Anything I want?" he asks, licking his lips as he rolls on his side to face Frank.

"Anything,"

***

"We're like puzzle pieces." Mikey says this as he's lying with his head on Frank's chest, eyes shut contently. He looks up at the glowing cigarette that informs him where Frank is and sighs, feeling the steady rise and fall of his boyfriend's chest underneath his arm.

"We're not," Frank says, blowing a cloud of smoke out into the stale air. "Puzzles are never completely together, there's always that small space between each piece. There's no space with us." Out the window, the sky is lightening and Mikey can feel himself falling asleep swiftly.

"Then what are we like?" he murmurs, hissing as an ember falls on his shoulder.

"Nothing."

***

When Mikey wakes up, he's lying on his back, staring up at the ceiling. The sun is up completely and he can feel a thin layer of sweat on his body as he slides out from underneath the sheets and puts on his boxers, knowing without looking that Frank isn't in bed.

Surprisingly though, Frank is sitting out on the porch railing, which is still lightly dusted with morning dew. Mikey approaches him from behind and rests his chin on his shoulder, kissing it lightly. He stares up the hill at the hole in the hedge where he broke through the previous night. It's an ugly mar in the otherwise perfect shrubbery but he thinks it's the beginning of something good.

"I have to go home," he murmurs, biting back a yawn. "Gerard's probably torn my room apart by now." For a moment, Mikey wonders if he should tell Frank about what his brother did before he ran away but he decides not to. Gerard had obviously been high, he'd meant nothing.

He was harmless.

"I want you to start staying here," Frank answers, turning himself around so that Mikey is standing in between his legs. "It'll be one step closer to freedom. No rules, no needing to impress anyone... just you and me." It sounds like a good idea, it sounds like everything he's ever wanted and... could he really have it?

"It can't be that easy," Mikey says, turning around and heading back inside to fetch his clothes from where they've been thrown.

"It can be," Frank murmurs in his ear, causing every hair on Mikey's body to stand up. That voice always makes his system pulse with electricity, no matter what it's saying.

"All you have to do is let go."