I'm Holding Every Look

"Now, Julian. If any of them tr-"

"Try anything, like pulling a prank, staring at me, or even trying to jump my bones, I need to call you immediately and you will contact their bus driver and make them pull over." I mocked Ryan. Jon looked up from his laptop and chuckled.

"You two sound like an old married couple." I squeezed my eyes shut and shook my head.

"OH! Ew, ew, ew, bad mental images."

"Good, I'm gla-"

"WAIT! Bad mental images, what is that supposed to mean, Julian Mika Buches?" I shrugged as Ryan stood there, eyes huge.

"Okay, going to Paramore now, bye!" I screeched, grabbing my backpack and purse, hurdling out the door, and running as fast as my legs could take me to the bus Hayley told me. I pounded on it, and Jeremy stuck his head out.

I could honestly feel my legs giving out as he smiled.

"Hey! Come in, come in." He opened it wide, and I stepped inside.

"Thanks."

"HAYLEY!" Jeremy called, glancing around awkwardly.

Zac emerged from his bunk and strode over, kicking a shoe out of the way.

"It's so much cleaner in here. Hayley, I assume?" I said, glancing around. Zac shook his head.

"Josh, actually." My eyes grew large as Hayley appeared from the back room. She gave me a hug, dismissed the boys, and pulled me to a bunk above hers.

"This is your bunk for the few days!" She exclaimed, tapping it with her pinkie.

"Thanks. Mind if I take a nap or something?" I asked sheepishly. "The Panic boys don't believe in sleep." Hayley laughed.

"Yeah, go for it." I thanked her and slipped into the bunk, pulling the curtain and letting sleep overtake me.

I awoke roughly an hour later to hushed voices outside of my bunk.

"Do you think she hates me?"

"No, you idiot."

"She's said about five words to me."

"Why are you so worried about it, man?"

"I-"

"She doesn't hate you!"

"You don't know that!"

"Ryan said she's shy."

"That she seems standoffish but she's really not."

A sigh.

"Man, just get over it. You met her a day ago! That's not enough time for someone to hate someone else."

"Yeah, why are you so wrapped up about it?"

"I don't know, man."

I pulled my hair into a ponytail and pulled back the curtain, before slipping a Hurley hoodie over my thin tank top.

"Oh! You're awake!" Hayley smiled, gesturing to the spot beside her on the couch. She was sitting next to Josh, and their hands were intertwined between them.

I should have seen THAT one coming.

They're adorable.

"Yeah, thanks for letting me sleep." I said as I sat next to Hayley and pulled my legs under my thin frame. Jeremy was perched on a chair next to the couch and Zac was sitting on the bench by the table. I had no clue where Taylor was.

"So tell us about yourself." Josh said, stroking Hayley's hair softly. I smiled before looking down at my red and black socks.

"Um, okay." I felt a blush creep up my cheeks and I cursed it inwardly. "I grew up in Las Vegas and met the Panic guys freshman year, wasn't really friends with any of them except for Spencer until graduation day, and then Ryan and I became best friends."

"Wait, graduation day?" Zac asked, confused.

"Yeah, Radiohead brought us together."

Josh nodded solemnly, he obviously knew the glory that is Radiohead. My eyes fluttered to Jeremy and I caught him staring at me. He directed his gaze down and coughed slightly, causing me to blush again and look away quickly.

"I graduated from U of N last year with a bachelors in International Studies and whenever I had a break from school, I was touring with Panic as the merch bitch, and now that I'm out of school, I'm doing it full time while working as an online correspondent for the organization Free the Slaves."

"Wow, so what do you do with Free the Slaves?" Hayley asked, leaning forward.

"Basically I email anyone who emails us for information and opportunities and I do the online newsletter."

"Have you ever been overseas with them?" Zac wondered. I nodded.

"Yeah, I went to Cambodia this May for a month and Mauritania last October." They all murmured their approval and "wows".

We talked for about an hour more, and then Hayley announced she was going to bed, and Josh followed her to his bunk, which was just across from hers. Zac began playing Halo and Jeremy retreated to his bunk, so I pulled out my laptop and sat at the table, checking emails and working on the latest newsletter. A pop-up came into view.

I clicked on it, expecting another email from Ryan - who had written me approximately five times in the past three hours. I replied to one of them.

But instead, it was an instant message invitation from north.import. Whoever that was, I didn't have them on my buddy list.

'hello?' I typed, clicking send.

'hey julian,' was the response.

'who is this?' I questioned.

'north.import.' Okay, so they were not about to tell me who they were. That's fine, I'm assuming that it's a fan of Panic or something - and since I'm not in the band and wouldn't usually get thousands of im's, I usually responded to fans.

'ok, cool.. how did you get my screen-name?'

'a friend. so what are you into?' Wow, straight to the point.

'haha, everything! music, movies, selling clothing for emo boys, ending slavery, you know, every day stuff :P'

'what sort of music?'

'well, you know, everything from radiohead to flyleaf...'