Stay Awake Through Summer Like We Own the Heat

I was slowly pulling myself out of my depression. I ate and slept on a daily basis. I was talking more and more everyday. I was even starting to smile again. I'd sometimes stiff a laugh.

It'd been a month since Zack died. I still re-play all of our conversations in my head every day. I stare at our photos for most of the hours of the day.

Sometimes I think I can hear him say my name. Sometimes I can smell him. I can still hear his laugh, and see his smile. And it's those moments that I know he's watching over me. I'm doing everything I can to keep him smiling at me.

I talk to him quiet often. Just whisper to him. I think he can hear me. I hope he can hear me. I wish more than anything that he would talk back.

I sit on my roof a lot. I laid in the exact spot I laid at with him. I could still feel his arm around me, even though it wasn't there. I could still imagine his breathing. Perfectly. Every time the sun starts to set, I go out there. I talk to him. I sometimes think he's sitting right beside me, watching the sun through the trees. That helps me get through the days.
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I walked out of the tattoo shop, and waved goodbye to Eddie. He smiled at me.

"You coming?" My mom opened her door.

I gave her a small smile, and shook my head. "There's somewhere I need to be."

"Do you want a lift?"

"Nah. I need the fresh air. Thanks anyways."

"I'll see you at home, then."

"Love you."

"Love you too. Be careful!"

I laughed lightly at my mom, as I walked the side walk through our small town. In the back of my head, I was replaying our graduation day. The whole group was around me. Zack's arm was around me. I let out a deep breath and continued my walk. I watched as the neon signs began to flash on. I had my eye on a certain one.

I smiled and stopped right in front of the coffee shop. I hadn't seen it in a month. Over a month, really. Last time I was here I was with Zack and Stephanie.

I put my hand on the handle of the door, and looked behind me. A small butterfly fluttered past me. I smiled. It was too cold for butterflies this time of the year. I thought of Zack right away. I ran my hand over my shoulder, where I had just gotten a tattoo. A butterfly, with Zack's name under it. I let out a small sigh, and opened the door.

I didn't bother getting a coffee, I just went straight for the back table. Nikki, Wesley, Lindsey and Stephanie all smiled at me. I gave them a faint smile back, and took my usual seat.

"So, Parker. We were just talking about the butterfly effect."

I'm gonna stay eighteen forever.
You're just jealous 'cause I'm young and in love.
So we can stay like this forever.
Your stomachs filled up, but you're starved for conversation.
And we'll never miss a party.
You're spending all your nights growing old in your bed.
'Cause we keep them going constantly.
And you're tearing up your photos 'cause you wanna forget.. it's over.
And we'll never have to listen.
You're just jealous 'cause I'm young and in love.
To anyone, 'bout anything.
Your stomachs filled up, but you're starved for conversation.
'Cause it's all been done.
You're spending all your nights growing old in your bed.
And it's all been said.
And you're tearing up your photos 'cause you wanna forget.. it's over.

We're the coolest kids and we take what