Love Is A Dirty Word

Sequioa's P.O.V

“Do you HAVE to feed the fucking thing too?!” Jack questioned, with his I’m a non-caring douche-bag voice.

“Shut the hell up Jack. Your so in-com fucking passionate. The cats like skinny and black and ohhh! I just loves it.” I squeal in delight. “And don’t be such a fag basket about it.”

“Sequoia? Uhm; did you call the number yet?” Monday asks; sitting on top of the kitchen counter while trying to put on sparkly purple mascara without a mirror.

“No, but I’m going to. And, aren’t you gonna stab your eye out putting that shit on without a mirror?” I sarcastically point out.

“Oh shut up. I’ve put eyeliner on in a moving vehicle. So, no; I’m not.” Monday smiles and continues applying her sparkly eye-make up.

I’m bored with the whole mascara situation, so I turn back to Jackass for some more quality bitching; only to find him…..eating cat-food?

“Uh, Jack? Um. I don’t want to interrupt your dinner. But did you happen to notice your eating CAT FOOD?!” I question; trying not to laugh.

“….Yeah? Whats your point? Turkey and giblets is the shit.” He says; wiping….giblets off of his mouth.

I turn around to see Monday laughing her ass off; noticing she’s switched to mascaraing the other eye.

“Uhm; you DO know what giblets are; right?” she asks; grinning.

“OH MY GOD!” I jump up and down with my hand in the air. “I do! I learned it on Jay Leno! Giblets are like the insides! Heart, liver, intestines, other yummy shit.” I smile, thanking Jay Leno for his knowledgable night show.

“….Liver? Oh my god.” Jackass puts his cat food can down and hops off the kitchen table. “I’m gonna barf.”

Monday and I laugh in unison as Jackass runs to the bathroom and flushes the toilet repeated times. Turning back to the cat; I reach for the phone to dial the number; sad that my little kitty friends gonna leave soon.
I punch in the numbers on the handset; looking just in time to see Monday jab herself in the eye with her purple sparkly mascara wand. Haha. I told her so. She runs off to the bathroom screaming; while the phone rings.

“Hello?” A male voice at the other end of the line says. Hmmm. He sounds rather familiar.

“Hi. I found your cat; I think.” I say.

“Really? Oh good. I’ve been worried sick about her.” He says; in a rather happy voice.

“Yeah. She’s black with one white spot. And..yeah.” I finish.

“Okay! Okay. Well give me the address and I’ll be by soon!”

“Okay. It’s 134 Birch Lane; the green house on the corner.” I’m horrible with direction giving.

I hear a click at the end of the line; and shrug. Listening to the barfing Jack and the screaming Monday; I get worried.

“Are you guys okay?!” I yell towards the end of the hall.

“Yeah; I Think so….” Jack says.

“FUCK NO!” Monday screams. “I have SPARKLY SHIT embedded into my eyeball!”

I laugh at their pain; and run to the front door as the bell rings. Swinging it open; I look into the eyes of a familiar face.

“Hi; you have my cat?” He asks.

I knew I’ve heard that voice before.

At the entrance way of my house; a god was standing. I couldn’t help but scream.

“OH MY FUCKING GOD. IT’S CHAD KROEGER!”