I’ll Go Until My Heart Stops

As the vast landscapes of Tennessee sped past, I gazed sadly out the car window. I had spent the duration of our drive staring a hole in the car window and occasionally glowering in the direction of my mother who was sitting in the passenger seat, harping on about the various tourist sights we passed.

“You okay back there Maddie?” called my Dad from his position in the front of the car, glancing in his rear view mirror to give me a brief smile.

I looked up, catching my reflection in the mirror. My face was a clear pale colour, save for the dark circles beneath my eyes. My black hair glinted a dark blue in the sunlight and my striking green eyes sparkling with unshed tears at my present predicament. His bearded face lit up into a wrinkled smile, attempting to get me to reciprocate. He failed.

My misery was stemmed from the purpose of this journey. It was no ordinary family drive - oh no! We were not alone on our journey either; driving down the highway we were stalked by two filled-to-capacity moving vans. We were moving to none other than my mother's home town - Franklin, Tennessee.
The mere thought of us moving to her home town caused anger to rise within me like a volcano rising towards eruption. I had exploded at my parents when they had announced we were moving to her place of birth. To me it was like entering the dragon's lair; my only armour being my dear old Dad, but much to my dismay he agreed with her!

My hatred towards my mother has been a long time issue in our house. It was caused by a total personality clash. I have never been the Barbie doll she expected me to be when she learnt she was to have a baby girl, thus leading to countless arguments concerning clothes, hobbies and other such issues. At this point in my life I try to avoid speaking to her in any way shape or form. I have never envied the ideal mother daughter relationships I have come across in my life, not being able to comprehend having that with my own mother.

As the vast landscapes gave way to a picturesque town flanked by mountains and a thick forest I knew my fate was sealed. There was no turning back now, for we had reached the dragon's lair and it was up to me to fight for myself. I had no armour.

“Maddie sweetheart?” Dad asked, concerned, reaching out to stroke my cheek. “You okay kiddo? I know this is gonna be hard on you, I really do. Just keep your chin up ‘eh?” he finished, tilting my chin up to face him.

“I’ll try Dad,” I grimaced at him in reply.

Suddenly, I noticed what my father had stopped in front of - our new house. It was pale blue in colour, and two stories high with a freshly painted white wrap around porch and pasty white sash windows. The wild garden was inviting and the aroma of jasmine hit my nostrils as I stepped out of the stuffy car.

As the movers shuffled past me, hauling all of our belongings mercilessly inside, my Dad and I stood together captivated by the sheer beauty of our new home. It was almost dusk and the sun was setting in the east casting the shadows of the house over the garden. Other scents became apparent to me at this point, sweet honeysuckle and a hint of rosemary combined with the jasmine to create and intoxicating odour which was impossible to ignore. We stood motionless just basking in each others company for what felt like hours until she shouted from somewhere inside the house.

“Robbie! Can you give me a hand?”

“Coming Gina darlin'!” he called as he ran toward the house whispering back to me as he jogged away, “Chin up kiddo!”