I’ll Go Until My Heart Stops

“Hayley?” I called her name several times, the volume increasing with each one. “HAYLEY!” I practically screamed which was thankfully drowned out by the chatter buzzing all around us in the crowded cafeteria.

“What?” she cried, exasperated.

“Would you stop drooling over him long enough to answer one question for me?” I pleaded.

She and I had both been gazing longingly across the cafeteria at him; his flawless tanned face creasing up in laughter at a joke we could not hear, his brown eyes glistening in the bright light of the afternoon sun, his long brown hair styled messily, complementing his look perfectly.

I say ‘he’ because neither Hayley or I had any idea of his name or anything about him except that he had been the object of both of our desires for the past week. We had opted to call him ‘John Doe’ just for now when referring to him in conversation.

“Maddie!!” she called irritably.

“Oh, sorry!” I sighed apologetically.

“And you say I drool too much,” she muttered to herself.

“I’m sorry, what was that??” I asked teasingly.

“Oh nothing, nothing! What was your question again?”

“Oh yeah! I wanted to know if you wanted to go for pizza and a movie with me tomorrow night? I need to get out of the house or there may be a big dent in Franklin’s perfect crime rate!” I asked hopefully, brushing my charcoal hair behind my ear.

“Oh yeah that sounds fun! Any movie in mind?” she exclaimed, her gaze wandering again in the direction of his table, her eyes glazed over. I had lost her. Again.

“Hayley!!” I screamed, grabbing her elbow and shaking her small body harshly.

“WHAT??” she snapped, her cheeks flushing red, matching her crimson locks.

“You pick the movie, I’ll pick the restaurant okay?” I finished indicating back and forth between us across the table keeping her attention.

“Sounds like a plan, now can I get back to what I was doing?” she sighed as if I was distracting her from a very important task.

“Yeah sure, don’t mind me!” I muttered to myself.

My eyes wandered back to him again and I too slipped into a trance.

“Are these seats taken?” a soft voiced called from a distance. I looked up to see a tall boy with long curly hair falling in front of his sweet face - a button nose and watery blue eyes. Compared to ‘him’ he was ordinary but in the grand scheme of things he was above average. Nothing compared to the godlike figure that was the object of our desires though.

“Nope! Feel free to take them” I gestured towards the two empty seats at our table.

“Thanks!” he chirped, pulling back one of the chairs and gesturing for the pretty blonde beside him to take a seat. She plopped down beside me and flashed me a pearly white smile, making me think of her. The blonde extended her hand to me:

“You must be one of the new girls, I’m Nat! Welcome to Franklin High!” she said with sincerity that immediately wiped all thoughts of her from my mind.

“Yeah, that I am. My name’s Maddie and this here is new girl number two, - Hayley,” I said, pointing to the entranced Hayley on my other side. “Excuse her she has a bit of an infatuation going on at the moment. Hayles?” I called cheerily while digging my elbow into her ribs.

“Ouch! Jeez Maddie! What is it?” she responded irritably.

“Be polite! Say hello,” I coaxed, nodding towards the others at the table.

“Oh, hey! I’m Hayley!” she waved quickly, immediately returning to her gazing.

“Is she interested in something over there??” Nat asked her expression puzzled.

“Yeah, she - well we are kinda infatuated with one of the guys over at that table” I admitted. I could feel the colour rising in my face as it turned as red as my companion's hair.

A knowing look graced Nat’s features. “Let me guess, it’s Josh Farro?” she laughed slightly with this statement, craning her neck to look in the direction of his table.

“That’s his name, the guy in the middle?” I asked, relieved to finally put a name to the glorious face.

“Oh yes, that’s him alright. What it is about him that every girl loves? I just do not see it and I’m as straight as a ruler!” she laughed. “Even ask Taylor,” she indicated to her companion who had remained silent throughout this exchange.

“Yeah she’s my girlfriend, so I’d hope so,” he grinned putting his arm gently around her shoulder as she placed her hand over his.

As I watched the mutual affection between the two something moved within me. Jealousy? Maybe. Longing? Yes, I wanted that affection and mutual understanding with ‘Josh Farro’ so much it hurt. But, I don’t know him. I scolded myself and those visions of us vanished as quickly as they had emerged.

“Every girl you say? So does he have a girlfriend?” I enquired cautiously as I somewhat feared the answer.

“No, that’s the thing you see. He split with his girlfriend just before the Summer started and has been free as a bird since - leaving every girl in town drooling over him!” Taylor finished pointing at Hayley who was half a step away from literally drooling all over her untouched lunch.

A flicker of hope awakened in me, he was single after all. Maybe just, maybe? Oh, who was I kidding. I’m nothing special, what guy would chose me when he could have any girl he wanted? I sighed.

“You okay?” Nat asked concerned.

“Yup fine!” I lied, masking my sadness behind a grin as usual.

As the bell sounded loud and angry I snapped back to reality, shaking Hayley to attention.
“Come on we have Art to get to!” I yelled as pupils filed out of the cafeteria all around us.

I waved to Nat and Taylor as they walked away hand in hand, the little green monster coming to life again but I beat it down, smiling back at them.

“I wonder if he will be in our Art class?” Hayley sang dreamily, her eyes following him as he walked away.

“Class!” I growled at her.