I’ll Go Until My Heart Stops

I heard the distant sound of a chair being scraped sharply off the tile floor of the cafeteria as Taylor offered a seat at our table to Nat who graciously accepted.

“Thanks sweetie,” she cooed while leaning over the chair and softly pecking him on the lips. The little green monster sprang to action, startling me out of my dream-like state.

“Oh, hey guys!” I flashed them a cheery smile across the cluttered table.

Hayley smiled briefly up at them; she was scrambling to get her over-due English assignment finished for next period. Much to her dismay, this left little time for her routine gazing so I graciously offered to do more than my fair share to make up for it!

“Hellooo? Maddie, anybody home?” Nat called a few minutes later as she snapped her fingers a few inches from my blank face.

“Oh sorry! What was that?” I gasped, snapping out of my trance.

“I was just gonna ask if you and Hayley were still crushing on Joshy over there?” she asked, nodding in Josh’s direction. “But I guess that answers my question! Ever think of doing something about it though?” she casually enquired.

This caught Hayley's attention and her head snapped up from her English textbook.

“You mean like go talk to him?” she whispered as is it were forbidden to speak such a thing out loud.

“Yeah sure why not? What do you have to lose?” Nat asked flippantly while tucking her blonde locks behind her ear and slipping her hand into Taylor’s atop the table.

“Uh, our dignity maybe!” I laughed in shock.

“No wait, that is so true! What is there to lose?” Hayley exclaimed, her face lighting up with excitement.

“WHAT?” I practically yelled at her, my eyes bulging out of my head in shock. “You would actually just walk up to him and start a conversation?” I asked in amazement.

“Sure! Why not? Jeeze Maddie, chill out,” she grumbled in exasperation, her attention returning to her still unfinished assignment laying open on the lunch table.

Unconvinced, I repeated myself, “You are actually going to go speak to him?” I asked, shock evident in my voice.

“Yes! Is that a crime?” she demanded.

“No not all, just making sure.…” I trailed off, not wanting to reveal my true feelings on the subject.

Truthfully, Hayley’s determination scared me. I knew that if she spoke to him, I would never sum up the courage to speak to him and my chance to ever have anything with Josh Farro would be lost. As usual I bottled it up, keeping everything inside. They say it’s unhealthy but that’s just me, always has been, always will be….

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sound of lockers crashing closed echoed all around me as I stood leaning against my locker waiting for Hayley - disorganised as usual - to get her things together so we could walk home. As her freckled face emerged, a triumphant smile gracing her features, I knew she was ready. Finally!

We fought our way through the bustling students that filled the corridors; some digging through lockers, others leaning against the forest green walls of metal that lined the walls, waiting expectantly for friends.
As we reached the heavy oak doors that hung open, fresh air hitting our faces, Hayley stopped suddenly, putting her hand out in front of me to prevent me from walking on.

“I almost forgot, I’m gonna go talk to Josh okay?” she spoke all in one breath as if this was a regular occurance.

She descended the steps two at a time. I jogged along beside her, my breath hitching as the enormity of what she was about to do hit me, although she seemed unfazed by it.

“You’re sure about this Hayles?” I panted under my breath just loud enough for her to hear as we were only a few feet from the object of both our desires.

“Positive. More than positive if that is even possible,” she sang, giving me a genuine smile. Running her hand over her crimson locks she turned to me one final time. “Wish me luck?” she grinned leaning in to give me a quick hug.

“Good luck!” I whispered as I leaned into her.

You’re gonna need it, I thought to myself. I know having so little faith in a friend was very disloyal but I honestly feared for Hayley. I didn’t want anything or anybody to hurt her. In these few short weeks we had grown very close, so much that I could safely call her my 'Best Friend' - no qualms about it.

I retreated back towards the school building, deciding I didn’t want to watch this encounter take place. No matter what the outcome, it was still going to be painful, very painful I knew that much. I spotted an empty bench in the shadow of one of the few large evergreen trees on the school grounds. I gingerly sat down angling myself toward the football field which was to the left of the school. I tried to distract myself from the thoughts whirling around in my head by watching the Football team practice, but guys in tight shorts didn’t hold a torch to the godlike figure that adorned my thoughts at this present moment.

“Hey Maddie! Fancy seeing you here, didn’t think this was your scene!” someone called from behind me. I spun around to find the source of this familiar voice.

“Oh hey Taylor! No, I’m just waiting on Hayles. She decided to go talk to Josh thanks to Nat’s suggestion at lunch today” I finished bitterly.

“Oh!” He sighed worriedly. “She’s talking to him right now?” He asked,

“Yes!” I curtly answered. Snapping out of my bitterness I apologised.
“Sorry Taylor, never mind that - what are you doing over in this neck of the woods. Are you on the Football team?” I asked, somehow doubting that was the case.

“Me? No way! No, I’m just waiting on my friend Zac. We usually meet here every Monday and hang out after school,” he explained excitedly, glancing around.

“Oh there he is! Hey Zac man, over here!” he called to the approaching familiar looking young boy, I say young because he looked at least a year if not younger than Taylor.

“Hey dude!” the boy exclaimed, jogging over to us. It was then that it hit me; this boy looked familiar, not because I had met him before, no - because I had been staring at his kin at lunch everyday for the past two weeks. He was Josh Farro’s brother, that much was obvious. Although he was slightly chubbier and a little shorter than Josh he still had those deep brown eyes and perfectly tanned skin. All that aside he was no match to his brother - Cute? Yes, Hot? No!

“Hey Zac, this is Maddie Stewart. Maddie, this is Zac Farro," Taylor chirped, indicating between the two of us.

“Cool! Nice to meet you!” Zac smiled warmly offering me his hand, which I shook sincerely. He did seem to have a certain charm alright, I’ll give him that much.

However, I soon snapped out of my little bubble when Hayley came running around the corner of the tall school building; tears streaming down her face….