I’ll Go Until My Heart Stops

A gust of wind rushed towards me bringing with it the familliar scent of honeysuckle. My fuzzy mind took a while to register with this scent, then like a second gust of wind it hit me, Hayley.

"Maddie! How do you feeeel?" her high soprano voice sang from her spot at the foot of my bed.

"Hey Hayles," I answered meekly, "I'm alright I guess....stupid appendix!"
I grumbled attemting to sit up in my hospital bed which bizarrely seemed even more uncomfortable, if that is even possible.

"I was so scared, you just fell!" she gushed. Her unbridled energy, I have to admit, was starting to irritate somewhat.

She took a seat in the leather chair previously occupied by my mother and placed her hand over my cold one which lay at my side. I sighed; finally she had calmed down. Silence fell between us until a shrill buzzing sounded, obviously coming from somewhere on Hayley's person.

She grappled with her pocket, attempting to pull out the offending gadget without jostling my bed. She smiled triumphantly as she held the phone and flipped it open gleefully.

Her facial expression stretched in a grin and she sighed a sigh of utter delight. Who could possibly light her face up like that? Her Mother? Father? Cousin? No, this person had to be very special to her. I'm guessing romantically special - now to investigate.

"Who is that Hayles?" I asked, attempting to sound flippant and easy-going, despite my excitment building at an unmeasureable rate.

"Hmm...?" she asked, her attention still on the source of her delight.

"The text, who is it from?" I asked bluntly, my patience being greatly reduced by my increasing exhaustion.

"Oh sorry, it's just somebody I met," she stated, looking up to face me; her expression a forced calm but I could see the excitment in her eyes.

"Come on Hayles it's not just 'somebody'," I drawled, my voice illustrating my growing interest. I leaned over to poke her shoulder attempting to force an answer out of her.

"Awh, come on Hayles! I need something to distract me from the pain!" I begged while giving her puppy dog eyes in pleading.

"Okay first off, you're not in any pain, the doctor, who is very hot by the way, told me himself! Secondly you already know who it is!" She finished grinnig up at me in spite of herself.

My fuzzy mind was working over time now. Who could it be? It was obviously a guy, so which guy do I know, that Hayley knows? Taylor? Nah, he's in pretty deep with Nat already. I wracked my brains attempting to ignore the nagging feeling in the back of my head, I knew who 'he' was, but I just refused to believe it.

After a couple of minutes of awkward silence I spoke. My voice cracking, it took everything I had not to shed those tears that threatened to fall.
"Josh Farro?" I asked, my voice wavering uncertainly. The flood gates threatening to give way to those menacing tears. But I refused to cry, for I had told Hayley he was not worth her tears - I would not cry!

She flashed me a winning smile.
"Yeah! We were talking yesterday at lunch; it turns out that Zac didn't keep it to himself and Josh was so sorry that he upset me, he came over to apologise!" her high soprano voice returned in her excitment.

The sharp pain returned in the pit of my stomach; and although I knew it wasn't possible, it felt like my appendix was back, causing unfathomable pain to course through my veins.

"Maddie? You okay?" Hayley asked, her voice laced with concern.

I forced myself to smile weakly and turned to face her. "Yeah I'm fine! Thats great Hayles, I'm really glad! So are you guys a couple now?" I asked, attempting to sound interested; my pain stabbing at my insides.

"Yeah I think we are, we have so much in common....." she gushed.

I caught very little of her explanation of her and Josh's bonding session as the pain seared through me. Why did I feel so much pain at Josh being taken by Hayley? Only two days ago, I had told Hayley that he wasn't worth her time. Now however, my increasing pain told me that I did not agree with my own opinion. I loved Josh - loved being the right phrase - but he was Hayley's now.

Tears were beginnig to fall but I refused to cry in front of Hayley. I wiped the fallen tears of weakness and turned to face her and my weak voice spoke in almost a whimper.
"Hayles I'm really tired do you think you could come back another time?"
Only after uttering these words I noticed their sheer bluntness.

"N-no problem," she stuttered in surprise, her face falling from a grin to a disappointed grimace.

She stumbled as she stood from the leather chair quickly. "Bye!" she called somewhat hopefully, as she waved softly from the doorway.

"Bye Hayles!" I called to her as she shut the door quickly.

Alone, the pain attcked me from all corners; images of Hayley and Josh together pleagued my mind and unwavering tears ran down my face in tiny streams. I could taste salt on my lips and I plummeted into the depths of despair.

Laying down on the hard mattress of the cold hospital bed, I curled into the fetal position. Placing my heavy head on the white pillow, streams of tears fell on to the starched cotton, drowning it in my pain....