Six Feet Underground

Another day gone, another one on it's way.
Why can't I just drift into the darkness?
Disappear amoung the shadows
Become friends with the ghosts
Live with the wind

I'm becoming skinnier and skinnier by the day.
My imune system is failing.
My breathing slowing down.
The blood drips at a steady patten from my wrists.
I am losing control.
I can't feel anymore.
The spirits have taken my soul and devouered it.

Mum and Dad are talking again. They keep saying that they should bring him back. I tried telling them that he was dead and he wasn't coming back, ever. But they never believe me. Mum started crying when I said that. Maybe I shouldn't have brought him up. They don't talk about him much, just mourn. Gets old. I'm trying to move on, but I have this feeling that I'm not supposed to. I'm meant to mourn every single fucking day.
I got accepted to Art School. Yeah, shocking. I thought that I wouldn't make it in because of my school record. I never knew that completely destroying an art room would get you into collage.
My old art teacher never got mad at me. He told me that he was amazed that I was able to get out all of the emotions built up inside of me out. I looked around the room to see that the walls, desks, chairs, grey floor-everything was covered in paint, marker, pastels, pen and charcole.
It brought tears to my eyes to see what I had drawn. To the normal eye, it probally looked like a bunch of scribbles and a huge mess. But to me and the teacher, it was a beautifull peice of art. I don't know how I got away with it, but I did. I was amazed.
So, the first day wasn't bad. I met this guy, Dusty I think he said he was called. He's interesting. He is a lot like me. He lost someone he loved dearly. We sat next to each other and helped eachother with the work.
I seen him again today in Brooklyn. He was walking out of a coffee shop. I think it was called Starbucks.
Yeah, I went in there. The guy behind the counter was nice. He had long black hair, brown eyes and this preaty smile. He was smiling at all the costumers. He looked like he was daydreaming.
I ordered a coffee, I really didn't know what to get. He made it and handed it to me. I said thank you and sat down in a booth.
He was nice. He kept me company for a while, talking about random news of the day. I woundered where he came from, he had this southern like accent. It was cute. I'm not sure why, but he seemed to brighten up my day and warm me up quite a lot.

Well, we got to talking and he mentioned the art school I go to. His brother used to go there. He wouldn't say what happened to him, but I could sence that he missed him and wished he was here. I'm getting the impression that he was sent off to train for the military or something similar to that. I hope there won't be any war soon, that would be really crushing to her if he died in battle. He wouldn't be able to have a proper funeral. He would just be left there on the battle grounds to rot, an empty casket going six feet in the ground with his name on it, a flag atop of the brown box.
The itching begins yet again,
must go.
xoxo Gerard

I was shocked at the passage. He was there that day? He was the cute guy I talked to for a while? He was the one that looked like he just woke up?
My god! I met him. I talked to him. No wounder why his name seemed so fimiliar. No wounder... no way. That can't be right.
He knew about my brother. He knew before I even let anything slip. How the hell can someone do that. I didn't even talk much about Randy. I just mentioned him once... If only I knew then that he would die like Gerard had predicted. If only the towers didn't fall, he would still be here, helping me with life and trying to live it to its fullest.
I sighed and set the notebook down, hoping to caught some sleep before work tomorrow. I didn't want to wake up early to go in, but I knew if I didn't I wouldn't be able to pay the bills and I wouldn't see Mikey. God, I missed him terribly. He was so addicting. You could talk to him for hours on the phone and not even be close to being done with what you had started to talk about. He was such a great person...

I think I'm falling for him.

The bell rang as the door opened. Mikey stepped through it and walked up to the counter. He had a big smile plastered on his face, a glint in his eyes that wasn't there before.
"Hi!" he said happily.
I swear that he must have already had his daily dose of coffee and skittles this morning.
"Hey, Mikey," I replied just as happy as I began making his coffee. "Anything new today?"
"Yeah!" he exclaimed. "There is a contest in the newspaper! The crossword contest!!"
"Really?" I asked, my eyes lighting up.
He sure loved to do those things, but I must admit, they were fun.
"Yeah. It says that the winner gets $1,000 and the runner up gets $500!" Mikey said as I handed him his coffee and we walked to his booth.
"Really? Are you gunna try it out?"
"Already started. I got up way to early today and decided to see if the paper was out, and I found the contest and thought, Damn! I'm gonna have to work hard for this!"
I chuckled. "You think you'll win?"
"No, I know that we'll win!"
I smiled at that. He was truely perfect in almost every way.
So we began to work at the puzzles. They were tough. But with hours, books, and tons of coffee on our hands, we were able to complete it.
"What the heck does this mean and say?" I asked pointing to a line.
It said: J'adore Mikey
"Jay adore Mikey?" I said.
Mikey laughed and said, "It is pernounced Jah dore Mikey and it's french. It stands for 'I love Mikey'. Which is really weird."
I laughed and copied what he said.
"J'adore Mikey. J'adore Mikey. J'adore Mikey." I repeated.
"Okay, okay! I know you love me and all, but you don't have to go saying it over and over!"
My face flushed when he said that. Did he really know that I had feelings for him? I'm preaty sure he seen that my face got slightly red as he said that.
We spent the net few hours working on the crossword. Mikey would sometimes accidentally brush his hand against mine, which in turn caused me to blush and pull it away quickly. Any other physical contact we shared caused me to become nervous and blush heavily. God, I was falling for him, and hard! And the worst thing is that he wouldn't be at the bottom to catch me. I would just fall and fall into a dark abyss of love.
As the days withered away, my love for Mikey grew more and more with each second I spent with him. I eventually got to a point where it seemed so weird to be around him. I didn't like it. I loved being around him, but I wanted to be comfortable around him. Not acting like a complete fool, trying to hide my love but still hold our friendship.
It seemed almost impossible as a day came and he asked me over to his house. Being the dumb person I am, I agreed and after my shift was over, he took me over to his place. He lived in Brooklynn so it wasn't a long drive to his house.
Once we got there, I gasped. His house was beautifull.