Six Feet Underground

As the days wore on, Mikey seemed to be coming by less and less. I've been trying to count the hours but, as I'm not awake, I cannot see a clock to tell the time. But I've learned that the nurses come in three times a day, I've been counting.

The days are wilting away before I can get a grasp on them. It seems like someone is speeding time up. The nurses seem to be comeing faster and the days are going faster. I'm loseing track of time.
Mikey still hasn't been in to see me. I'm worried about him. I miss his voice. I miss his eyes. I miss his scent, the way he giggles when I used to poke him to wake him up, the way his hair seemed to sometimes have a mind of its own. But most of all, I miss they way he would hold me. The sweet, caring, loving arms that would wrap themselves around my torso whenever I would wake in the middle of the night crying, screaming and almost hypervenalating.

But now, he's not here to save me from the night mares. He's not here to sing me that song anymore. Only his voice is ringing throughout my head as I'm drawn closer and closer to consiousness as the horrid nightmares grow scarier and, sometimes, more and more destructive.
*Flashback*

"And it's like, it feels like somebody was gripping my, it feels like as if somebody was gripping my throat. They're worse than tremors, they're these terrors, it feels like somebody was gripping my throat and squeezing..." I sobbed as Mikey tried to soothe me.
This was the third time this week I had been woken up by Mikey shaking me and trying to calm me down. I had been staying over at his house. At first it was just for the fact that we wanted to have a 'sleepover', but then Mikey found out about my dreams. He insisted on me staying over at his place for a bit.
"Shhhh," Mikey soothed. "It's all right. It's over..."
He kissed the top of my head and rocked me back and forth as he sung this song under his breath. It was peacefull and, somehow, made so much sence. I couldn't describe it, but it made all of the thoughts go away for the time being.
*end flashback*
His voice was swiming about my head. That song being sung over and over, soothing me back into a sleep.
"....Some say now suffer all the children and walk away a saviour,
Or a madman and polluted from gutter institutions.
Don't you breathe for me, undeserving of your sympathy,
Cos there ain't no way that I'm sorry for what I did."
Mikey, what are you not sorry for? Was it something that happened while I'm here? There I was again.. Thinking of that song while I lay here.
Yes... I've woken up. The nurses say that I've been out for a long time, all hope was almost gone. They tell me of a man that used to come visit me, years ago. He was Mikey. But they said he hasn't came in for four years...
Yeah, I've been out of it for six years now.
But it doesn't seem like it. I still feel like I did that day, the day I came here.

"And through it all how could you cry
For me?
Cos I don't feel bad about it.
So shut your eyes, kiss me goodbye,
And sleep.
Just sleep.
The hardest part is letting go of your dreams.''

All I have left of him now, it seems, is the memories and the songs. They say I'm getting better, slowly. I've only been awake for two days now.
It's very boring. White. Everything is white!

The memories of the times I would wake up screaming haunt me. No one is here to confort me any more.

"Sometimes I see flames. And sometimes id see people that I love dying and... I'ts always" I would tell him as he rocked me, conforting me.

"Just sleep
Just sleep
Just sleep
Just sleep
Just sleep
Just sleep" He would soothe as he rocked me. Telling me to have a dreamless sleep.

" Wake up!" he would scream whenever I had that dream.

"I cant, I cant wake up" I would replie through a sleepy daze... Never being able to wake up untill I saw that person die. That shaded figure that had no face.
*Mikey's POV*

It's 3:00 in the morning. I'm sitting on the window seat, looking out at the brooklyn sky. It's very beautiful.
Then I look at Kiki. God, why'd I end up meating her. She's so beautiful, so amazing. I truely love her.

But Frank.

What about Frank?
I love him, don't I?

No! You used to love him, then he went into a coma and almost died. Then you found Kiki and fell in love with her, wanting to forget about Frank because he wasn't able to help you find Gerard. He wasn't able to heal you the way you wanted. He wasn't able to bear your child. Kiki was able to, and she did. Look at Anay. She's beautiful.
You wouldn't have her and all that you do now if you stuck around and waited for Frank. You never loved him. My mind told me.

Maybe I never did love him the way I thought. I just used him, to get to figure out my brothers death. I just needed him to solve a mystery.

And I've solved it, so I don't need him, right?

Right. He's nothing to you now. Just a memory. A past relationship that grew apart and forgotten.

Then why do I feel so bad for not visiting him?

Your just attached. So used to being around him, talking to him. It's hard to move on, but you have to. That's what was meant to happen. You have Kiki and Anay now. You have a family that needs you. A wife and a five year old daughter that needs her daddy now more that anything.

Damnit! Why do you always have to be right?

Because I'm your brain. I'm never wrong!

You are this time. Frank needs me!!!

So I jumped off the window seat and crept out of the bedroom, leaving my wife behind and going to fix something that I should have done a long time ago, to explain myself and, hopfully, help heal some open wounds that should never have been left open...