Sequel: The Nephew of a Dead Artist ›
Six Feet Underground
Denial
Mom is crying non stop. They forced me out of the bathroom, asking me why I was crying on the bathroom floor. Don't they get it? Mikes' dead! He killed himself! Didn't they see him. Didn't they see the blood.
They must have because when I went to the bathroom, I had tried to hold it but I couldn't anymore, he was gone! No trace of blood any where.
I've been locked in my room, not talking to anyone. They try to get me out to eat, I refuse and drown my sorrow with the booze. I will never forget the image of his limp body laying on the floor, blood surounding him out of my head.
The image haunts my dreams, turning them into horrible nightmares. Sometimes I find myself in my brothers eyes. I always wake screaming.
My memory gets worse as the days melt away. I can't remember a lot of things now. I even forgot my birthday!
xoxo
Gerard
I stared at the signature, racking my brains to remember where I have seen it before. I know that I've seen it some where, but where? I was sitting on my bed, the box in front of me, the book book on my lap, my small reading lamp on and hot.
I had been reading these books for about a month now. It was actually like I was stepping into Gerard's shoes and living his life as he told it. He was a very good story teller. He almost never left any emotion of tiny detail out. He would write he journal, most of the time, like he was writing a book and he just so happened to be the main, tourtured, charactor.
I felt myself become incressingly depressed as the days withered away and I read deeper into the life of Gerard. I was so captivated by him that it seemed like I was slowly feeling what he felt, seeing what he saw and almost, in a weird sence, knowing his thoughts before I read them.
I had learned a lot about Gerard. He was an aspireing comic book artist, a sweet and nice guy who had fallen into the wrong habits. His little brother, although suddenly missing from his life, was a major part of his life. The was Gerard described him made me smile. Gerard really cherrished his brother, felt lucky to have one that used to be so close to him.
He would write highly of his grandmother. He often wrote of her. He would say that he would be dropped off their while his mother and father went out, every weekend. Gerard never minded. No, just more time he could spend with her. She taught Gerard how to appriciate art and she got him into plays. He even wrote about this one time when he was in fourth grade and he was picked to be in a school play. Peter Pan to be exact. He was Peter. He sounded slightly embaressed when he remembered the events.
She had made him a Peter Pan costume. It consisted of green tights. That's all Gerard would say. I giggled when I first read that. I had an image of what Gerard looked like in my mind, it was not of him wearing green tights.
By what he wrote, I was begining to think that Gerard's parents didn't really care for him. But when I watched his birthday video's, I concluded that they were, in fact, one of the nicest parents a son could have. They let him do whatever he wanted, with some guidelines, and they gave him enough space but not to much where he would be un-deciplined.
I think Gerard only wrote lowly of his parents because they didn't seem to understand him. They would always tell him that Mikey was alive and at his aunts house. Gerard would yell at them, telling them that he saw Mikey on the bathroom floor, he couldn't have been alive. But they still insisted that Mikey was alive. Most of the fights recorded would always end with Donna, Gerard's mother, in tears and Gerard storming off to his room to drown out their lies.
I wasn't sure what to belive myself. I wanted to think that Mikey was dead. Gerard had, after all depicted a very clear image of Mikey on the bathroom floor, dead. He had even drawn a picture of the image in his mind. The other part of me thought that Mikey was still alive, depressed as much as Gerard was. But Gerard didn't have any proof that would lead me to belive that Gerard's parents were correct after all.
I think Gerard is living in denial. Not wanting to belive that Mikey is still alive, he just cannot see him or contact him for that would be much harder than trying to make him disappear by saying he was dead.
They must have because when I went to the bathroom, I had tried to hold it but I couldn't anymore, he was gone! No trace of blood any where.
I've been locked in my room, not talking to anyone. They try to get me out to eat, I refuse and drown my sorrow with the booze. I will never forget the image of his limp body laying on the floor, blood surounding him out of my head.
The image haunts my dreams, turning them into horrible nightmares. Sometimes I find myself in my brothers eyes. I always wake screaming.
My memory gets worse as the days melt away. I can't remember a lot of things now. I even forgot my birthday!
xoxo
Gerard
I stared at the signature, racking my brains to remember where I have seen it before. I know that I've seen it some where, but where? I was sitting on my bed, the box in front of me, the book book on my lap, my small reading lamp on and hot.
I had been reading these books for about a month now. It was actually like I was stepping into Gerard's shoes and living his life as he told it. He was a very good story teller. He almost never left any emotion of tiny detail out. He would write he journal, most of the time, like he was writing a book and he just so happened to be the main, tourtured, charactor.
I felt myself become incressingly depressed as the days withered away and I read deeper into the life of Gerard. I was so captivated by him that it seemed like I was slowly feeling what he felt, seeing what he saw and almost, in a weird sence, knowing his thoughts before I read them.
I had learned a lot about Gerard. He was an aspireing comic book artist, a sweet and nice guy who had fallen into the wrong habits. His little brother, although suddenly missing from his life, was a major part of his life. The was Gerard described him made me smile. Gerard really cherrished his brother, felt lucky to have one that used to be so close to him.
He would write highly of his grandmother. He often wrote of her. He would say that he would be dropped off their while his mother and father went out, every weekend. Gerard never minded. No, just more time he could spend with her. She taught Gerard how to appriciate art and she got him into plays. He even wrote about this one time when he was in fourth grade and he was picked to be in a school play. Peter Pan to be exact. He was Peter. He sounded slightly embaressed when he remembered the events.
She had made him a Peter Pan costume. It consisted of green tights. That's all Gerard would say. I giggled when I first read that. I had an image of what Gerard looked like in my mind, it was not of him wearing green tights.
By what he wrote, I was begining to think that Gerard's parents didn't really care for him. But when I watched his birthday video's, I concluded that they were, in fact, one of the nicest parents a son could have. They let him do whatever he wanted, with some guidelines, and they gave him enough space but not to much where he would be un-deciplined.
I think Gerard only wrote lowly of his parents because they didn't seem to understand him. They would always tell him that Mikey was alive and at his aunts house. Gerard would yell at them, telling them that he saw Mikey on the bathroom floor, he couldn't have been alive. But they still insisted that Mikey was alive. Most of the fights recorded would always end with Donna, Gerard's mother, in tears and Gerard storming off to his room to drown out their lies.
I wasn't sure what to belive myself. I wanted to think that Mikey was dead. Gerard had, after all depicted a very clear image of Mikey on the bathroom floor, dead. He had even drawn a picture of the image in his mind. The other part of me thought that Mikey was still alive, depressed as much as Gerard was. But Gerard didn't have any proof that would lead me to belive that Gerard's parents were correct after all.
I think Gerard is living in denial. Not wanting to belive that Mikey is still alive, he just cannot see him or contact him for that would be much harder than trying to make him disappear by saying he was dead.