Six Feet Underground

The next day, I awoke bright and early. My dreams were haunted of Gerard and what had happened to him. I still didn't know, as I haven't finished those journals yet, but today, I had a strong feeling I was going to find out. Or at least be very close to figureing out the mystery.
I jumped out of bed, fighting off the urge to fall back on it and fall asleep, and jumped into the shower. I quickly showered and got ready for work, hopping I wouldn't be late this time. I had been late the last three times, I really didn't need to be fired now, not with taxes comeing up. The ninth of April was approching fast, and that scared me. I didn't have nearly enough money to pay off the taxes this year. I barely made it by last year.
So snatching up the box and my keys, I ran out of the door and was off to work.
***
Today was a slow day, very little costomers. Very boring. So, naturally, and because my curiosity had got the better of me, I took out Gerard's notebook from underneath the counter (I kept it there during the day so I could read it at times like these), and opened it to the next entry I had to read, April 9th.
April 9
Another sad, depressing, Mikey-less year gone and another on its way. Yup, today it my birthday. Parents try to make me smile. It just brought tears to my eyes. Therapy does nothing but torment me. Mocking me even. I just sit there, itching my raw wrists, waiting for the nice lady to leave. She tries, I notice it. But I'm not going to talk. I'm not going to spill my secrets out to here. She'll tell. I can't have that. I don't need them to know. They know what's wrong. They still deny it.
It's been years now. I'm graduated, still living in their house. Sad huh? An old man, living in his parents' house because he cannot afford to move out. Because he has no streangth to move out.
I'm getting weaker every day. I'm eating less and less. My appitite is gone. I don't need to eat. There's no use for it. I'm gunna die anyway, why not now? I'll be able to see Mikey again.
I'll be able to be happy.
I can't wait to see his smiling face again. His brown eyes behind those glasses that you know are his, and only his.
I know that I'll never see him as an adult, he'll just be that little boy forever, while I'm an old man.
If you can't tell, I'll tell you. Gerard fucking Way is crying right now. He can't take it anymore. He wants to die. He is thinking about ending it all, just like Mikey did.
xoxo
Gerard

I choked back tears. I slamed the notebook shut and put it back in my hidding spot. I couldn't break down now. Not in the middle of the store.
The bell rang through the store to signal that a costomer had walked in. I tried to compose my self as much as I could.
A guy came walked twords me. He had thick rimmed glasses, brown eyes, light-ish brown hair, a face that was oh-so-fimiliar. He was about six foot. Taller than me, by far. If I didn't work here, I would be behind one of the book shelves, spying on him, checking him out.
He was definatly hot.
"How-How my I help you?" I stuttered dumbly, hoping my voice didn't waver and give him the idea I was nervous and was about to cry.
It must have worked.
"Ummm, could I have a coffee please? Just black," he asked.
"Yes, sir," I replied. I had to use sir and ma'am on the costomers as my boss told me that if I didn't, I would be fired.
"Thank you."
I turned around and began making his drink as he had ordered. I tried my hardest to do my best, but somehow I seemed to mess up. I accidentally poured to much coffee into the cup, causing it to over flow and burn my hand.
"Crap!" I exclaimed when the hot liquid ran down my hand and dripped onto the floor.