Ring the Alarm
Chapter Fifteen
Adrienne,
I know you have asked for time sort things out in your head, and I fully respect that. And I understand why you don't want to see me or speak to me, but at the same time…I want you to know that I'm not going to give up on you.
I know I've hurt you real bad over the years, and I wish I could take everything back and change all the shitty things that have happened, but I can't. The only thing I can do however, is tell you that you and Joseph mean everything to me. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. And nothing will come close to making me as happy as being a dad is making me.
You and I are made for each other. You know that, I know that; everyone knows that! But it's always been me who's been the one to make mistakes and fuck everything up and I can't explain how sorry I am, Adrienne. I hate myself for what I've done to you and for what I've put you through. You have so much grace and dignity in dealing with all the shit that is thrown at you, that when I think about it, I fall in love with you all over again.
If truth be known you deserve so much better than me. But all I want is the one chance to be the man who gives you everything. I know I've done nothing to deserve that chance, but if you let me, I swear to God that I would never be the cause for another tear to roll down your cheek. I love everything about you---your smile, your eyes, your laugh---even the way that you have to move the mirror in the bathroom so you can see into it.
I'm writing this letter to ask you for this one chance to show you that I can treat you how you deserve to be treated. Please, PLEASE don't give up on me and on us. I really can show you how much you and our son mean to me. I know we can still have the 'forever and always' we promised each other in our wedding vows.
I already know I have got a lot of changing to do---I know that the partying has to stop. Or at least I'm going to stop going out without you, because nothing makes me prouder than when I can show you off to everyone. I can't imagine not sharing another Christmas, birthday, anniversary or vacation with you. You really do mean the world to me Adie. Please give me the chance to show you.
I'm sorry if this seems thrown together and repetitive. I would have wrote you a song, but without being able to perform it to you, it seemed redundant. Just know that I am going to keep fighting for you. And for Joseph. That, I promise.
I miss you.
I need you.
I love you.
BJ xxx
I know you have asked for time sort things out in your head, and I fully respect that. And I understand why you don't want to see me or speak to me, but at the same time…I want you to know that I'm not going to give up on you.
I know I've hurt you real bad over the years, and I wish I could take everything back and change all the shitty things that have happened, but I can't. The only thing I can do however, is tell you that you and Joseph mean everything to me. I have never loved anyone as much as I love you. And nothing will come close to making me as happy as being a dad is making me.
You and I are made for each other. You know that, I know that; everyone knows that! But it's always been me who's been the one to make mistakes and fuck everything up and I can't explain how sorry I am, Adrienne. I hate myself for what I've done to you and for what I've put you through. You have so much grace and dignity in dealing with all the shit that is thrown at you, that when I think about it, I fall in love with you all over again.
If truth be known you deserve so much better than me. But all I want is the one chance to be the man who gives you everything. I know I've done nothing to deserve that chance, but if you let me, I swear to God that I would never be the cause for another tear to roll down your cheek. I love everything about you---your smile, your eyes, your laugh---even the way that you have to move the mirror in the bathroom so you can see into it.
I'm writing this letter to ask you for this one chance to show you that I can treat you how you deserve to be treated. Please, PLEASE don't give up on me and on us. I really can show you how much you and our son mean to me. I know we can still have the 'forever and always' we promised each other in our wedding vows.
I already know I have got a lot of changing to do---I know that the partying has to stop. Or at least I'm going to stop going out without you, because nothing makes me prouder than when I can show you off to everyone. I can't imagine not sharing another Christmas, birthday, anniversary or vacation with you. You really do mean the world to me Adie. Please give me the chance to show you.
I'm sorry if this seems thrown together and repetitive. I would have wrote you a song, but without being able to perform it to you, it seemed redundant. Just know that I am going to keep fighting for you. And for Joseph. That, I promise.
I miss you.
I need you.
I love you.
BJ xxx
♠ ♠ ♠
Sorry if this is too short. I thought the letter would make more of an impact as a standalone rather than adding more narrative after it.Also, you have NO idea how long it took me to translate the shitty grammar of the REAL letter into something that's worth publishing on here haha.
Thank you to everyone who reads and comments. I love you all.