Ring the Alarm

"I can't believe you're crying Anna!" Adrienne angrily scolded her friend and tore the letter out of her hands.

"I can't believe you're not! Has it not even touched you at all?! He's a desperate mess for crying out loud! Can't you see that?"

"He can be as desperate as he wants. but at the end of the day, he's made his bed and now he's got to lie in it."

Adrienne had been ignoring Billie's calls, for the most part, for the up most of a month. The only time she spoke to him was when she called him to arrange a time that he could visit his son. Then when he came round, she said nothing to him, merely just put Joseph in his arms and then made herself scarce upstairs; only coming back down when the visiting hours were up.

It was no surprise to Adrienne when she found the letter Billie had left on the fireplace after his last visit. She was surprised however, at her reluctance to open it. That was when she called her friend, who was also Mike's girlfriend, to come round and help her read it.

“The guy is desperate Adie, and you’re acting like you don’t care!” Anna started again.
 
“How can you expect me to care after everything he’s done?! He’s lying to my face Anna, and now you expect me to feel sorry for him because he writes a few pitiful lines?”
 
Adrienne balled the letter up and threw it across her kitchen.
 
“This is exactly what he wants,” she continued, pointing in the direction where she threw the letter. “He wants us to feel sorry for him. He wants us to believe he’s this desperate little man. He’s a musician Anna, writing is what he does. He’s so used to manipulating peoples’ emotions through his words that he thinks that I’ll succumb to it too. But he’s wrong…”
 
“No Adie, I think you’re the one who’s wrong! Billie loves you, OK? Like really, desperately loves you. He’s not using the letter as a mind game. He wrote it to try and get you to see how sorry he is. You need to stop being angry at him and stop pushing him away. Let him explain himself…”
 
Adrienne screamed in frustration. “Explain himself?! I gave him THREE chances to explain himself and he did nothing but lie to me! I asked him to EXPLAIN his relationship with Abigail and he told me they were just friends. Then I asked him to explain the emails and he told me I'd got the wrong end of the stick. And then SHE admitted the affair to me, and Billie told me she was lying! He's had plenty of opportunities to redeem himself so why the FUCK should I give up any more of my time just so he can lie to me some more?"

Anna opened her mouth to retaliate but soon closed it again when she realised she had nothing constructive to argue back with. Adrienne was so wound up that she struggled to breathe evenly. Hot tears stung her eyes as she gazed at the face of her friend.

"I'm sorry," Anna mumbled at length. "When you say it like that then you have every right to not want to talk to Billie Joe. I didn't realise he had been such an ass. It's understandable to hate him---"

Adrienne wearily drew up a stool next to Anna at the table and began to massage her temples with her fingertips. She couldn't remember another time when events had left feeling as exhausted. "You know what the worst part is---I don't actually hate him---am I disgusted in him? Yes. Angry at him? Hell yes. But do I hate him? Well---it's in fact the complete opposite."

She lifted her watery eyes to meet Anna's confused gaze. "Well then why aren't you with him? Why won't you talk to him? Why not try to work it out?"

"Because it's just not that easy. I know what Billie is capable of now. I know he can hurt me. What would you do if you were me?"

Anna gave a small laugh. "I would have curled up into a ball and died by now. I think you're amazing Adie, I really do. I wouldn't have half the strength you have to carry on with each day---"

"I'm not trying to make a martyr of myself though---when I sit and really think about what Billie Joe has done, it makes me physically sick. But I can't bog myself down in the shit because my son needs me."

"Now I'm not trying to take sides here, but don't you think that Joe needs his dad too? Every child deserves to be brought up by two parents. And you and Billie, you have history, you have shared experiences between you that make you more than just two people who spend time together.  It's those things which draw you close, and can’t be erased by a lapse in judgement or a yielding to passing temptation, no matter how much hurt or anger it generates. I know that for me, it would hurt worse to know that Mike really felt something for another woman, than to know that he was just smitten and in lust with her---which is clearly all Billie felt for this Abigail!"

The tears that Adrienne had been trying to keep at bay, finally broke through her barrier and rolled slowly down her cheeks. Anna reached over and squeezed her hands.

"I don't want to sound like I'm preaching to you Adie," she continued. "But I have to say that I think I would want to hold on to what I had with Mike, as long as I was sure that he wanted it too. And Adrienne, it really sounds as if Billie doesn’t want to lose you.  If there was doubt in his mind, if he really thought that he wanted someone else, he had the perfect opportunity to tell you when you confronted him.  It would have been all too easy for him to say---yes, since you know now, I do want Abigail and I think we need to break it off---BUT HE DIDN'T!"

"But he's still lying to me Anna! He's still insisting that he hasn't had sex with her when I know for a fact that he has---and that's what hurts the most---the fact that he can't be truthful."

"Then I think you need to give him just one more opportunity to tell you, because you clearly still love him. Just give one more chance for you both to lay all your cards out on the table and tell him, 'this is how it's going to be.' Let him know that you can forgive, but forgetting may be harder.  And that if he abuses your trust again, there won’t be a next time. IF that’s how you feel, that is---"

"I don't know how I feel---"

"And I can't tell you how to feel. But I do know Adie that you're strong, and smart, and I'm quite confident that you will make the right choice because I know you won't settle for anything other than the special love you deserve. And the fact that Billie is so afraid of losing you tells me that he understands that too---"

Anna got up and picked up the crumpled letter from the floor. And then Adrienne's cell phone from off the counter. Walking back to the table, she made a point of placing the two items heavily down in front of Adrienne.

"I know you'll do the right thing," she said as she then reached for her jacket and prepared to leave.

"How? How do you know that?" Adrienne was staring vacantly at the objects in front of her, a thousand thoughts all racing furiously through her mind, only easing when she heard Anna's parting shot---

"Because you're Adrienne Armstrong---and NO ONE fucks with Adrienne Armstrong---"