You Don't Know a Thing About My Sins, How The Misery Begins

"Listen, Jay, that was before I met you." Mikey said, apologetically.

"Oh, I shouldn't have said that..." Gerard whispered to himself.

"No, Jay, believe me when I say that I love you. I think you're fantastic." He said, trying to reach for my hand on the other desk. I pulled away. "Baby, what's wrong?"

"Quiet back there, Mr. Way." the teacher shouted from the front of the big classroom.

He had white hair and black thick rimmed glasses,a lab coat and wore a pair of torn up converse. I'd like him.

He looked at the Advanced Chemistry attendance sheet, and mumbled to himself, "New student? Jasmin Samuels?"

"Yes?" I answered quietly, lancing over at Mikey.

"New student?" he asked in a friendly voice.

"Uhm yes." I said.

"Welcome, I'm Proffesser Ylite."

"Thank you." I whispered. With all eyes on me I glanced again to my left where Mikey nervously sat.

Proffesser Ylite put an assignment on the board and I paired up with Ray.

I can't believe he has a crush on that prep. I'm the exact opposite of her. But he likes her anyway. Most people like a certain style. How could Mikey like that prep? But he loves me...? I am carrying his child...maybe...

"Hello? Jay?" Ray said, waving his hand in front of my face.

"Oh, what?"

"Pour the sodium chloride in there please." He said pointing at the beaker.

"Oh, okay." I poured the water in the beaker and glanced at Mikey once again. I met his gaze and he smiled at me. He still loves me.

...

Next I had Pre-Calculus with Frankie, my best friend in the whole wide world and Gerard my other best friend.

Gerard walked me to math, "Listen Jay, that crush Mikey has on Laine, it's no big deal. He just thinks she's hot. His feelings for you are way stronger." He smiled at me reassuringly.

"Thanks Gee, I understand. I find other people attractive too."

"Really, who?"

"Everyone in My Chemical Romance!" I laughed.

We arrived to math and sat in the back with Frank. I was relaxed in math because I always found math easy. I'd be okay until lunch period.

Lunch period came by quickly, though.

I sat at a table with Gerard, Frank, Bob and my two brothers.I saw Mikey and Ray walking our way. Gerard chatted with Frank and I, but I escaped the conversation when I saw him.

He sat down across from me. He took my hands in his. "When I say that I love you, I mean, I LOVE YOU. I love you."

"I love you too. And I..." I hesitated.

"What?" he asked

"I have a doctors appointment...today." I whispered so only he could hear.

"Oh. Do you want me to go with you."

I nodded.

"Okay. Forgive me for what Gerard said. I have you and I don't need Laine. I don't want her."

I nodded and smiled. "Thank you Mikey. I love you." Suddenly a cold hand overtook my shoulder. "Is this your girlfriend, Michael?" A high pitched voice asked Mikey. Laine.

Gerard's conversation ended and all eyes were on the prep standing behind me.

"Yes, Laine, this is my girlfriend." Mikey answered.

"Well now I know who to tell Ricky who to beat up if she gives me any more problems..."

My eyes widened.

"Okay, thanks for the heads up, Laine." Mikey said sternly.

She turned around and walked away with her preppy minions trailing behind.

Gerard stuck out his tounge at the three girls until he saw Rick walk next to her. "I hate Jocks." he said.

"Me too," Frank whispered.

Everyone went back to their conversationsa dn soon the school day was over. I rode back home with Vick and Dee.

When we got home I went up to my room and saw Frank. I gasped when I saw him.

"What, did I scare you?" He asked.

"Yeah, a little. I don't think you have a key to my house..."

"Yeah," he laughed, "window." he said pointing to the window.

"Are you going to be doing this often?"

"Oh, don't worry, I'll knock." He said and grinned a gorgeous grin.

I sat down next to him on my bed.

"So, how was your first day?" he asked.

"Tragic." I answered.

"Aw, does someone need a hug?"

"Yes." I laughed. Frank pulled me in for a tight hug. "I love you, Frankie."

"I love you, too."

When he released me (which was like five years later) I grabbed my bag and took out a book. "I have to get started on homework, I've got somewhere to go in a couple hours." I said looking at the clock.

Frank stood up, "Where to?"

"Oh, no where special."

"You know, you don't have to hide anything from me."

"I know, Frank, I trust you."

"I know. We're best friends, right?"

"Uh huh."

"So...?" He pushed.

"Just, an appointment...for..." I pointed at my stomach.

"Oh. That's cool. Are you going alone?"

"Oh, of course not. Mikey's coming with me."

...

I sat in the doctor's office, holding Mikey's hand. Shaking, nervous.

"Don't worry babe, it's gonna be okay." He squeezed my hand reassuringly. But the butterflies in my stomache never went away.

I smiled back at him.

"Miss Samuels," the doctor called.

"I'll be waiting here." Mikey whispered.

I nodded and walked with the doctor into a room.

.......................

"Well, Miss Samuels, you are pregnant." The doctor confirmed as she stepped away from me to the counter and signed some papers.

I bit down on my lip, fighting back the tears.

"Teen pregnancies can be quite difficult. But I suggest you tell your parents right away. Maybe, if you want...you can still have an abortion. Or...not. Think about it.''

"Thank you doctor." I whispered.

"I'll keep in touch." She smiled.

I gave her my cell phone number and shuffled back to the waiting room.

"How'd it go?" Mikey asked.

I bit down on my lip again.

His eyes dropped to the floor.

I buried my face in his chest. "It's all my fault. I'm an idiot." I said.

"You're not an idiot. I am."

He led me back to the car where I cried. I don't kow why I was crying now. I had found out earlier. And I thought I was sure. Turns out I was really pregnant.

...

We stopped in the drive way of my house. My parents weren't home yet. Good. But they were due back any minute...I was still crying.

I was in denial.

"I can't believe you got me pregnant." I muttered.

Mikey's jaw dropped. "Now you're blaming this on me?!"

"Well...you are the one who....I just cannot believe you actually got me pregnant. I'm pregnant, dammit!"

Mikey put his head down on the steering wheel. "I know. Stop blaming me, Jasmin."

"You got me pregnant, you got me pregnant. Oh my god, I'm pregnant. I'm so pregnant. I'm gonna be a whale! I'm gonna be huge."

"Stop it Jasmin! Please be quiet!" Mikey pleaded. His face was growing red.

I made an angry face at him. "Bye."

I opened the car door and slammed it shut. I ran up to my room and slammed the door shut. Frank was in his room and I could see him playing his guitar through the window.

He spotted me and put the guitar down. But i didn't want him to climb through the gd damned window and comfort me. It would only make me cry more. I needed him, though. I had been such a bitch towards Mikey. Frank was all I had left.

"Jasmin? What's wrong?" He asked. He climbed into my room and I pulled him into a hug. I held him tightly, never wanting to let go. Crying. "Baby, stop crying. Tell me what happened." Suddenly he realised why I was crying. "Oh. Baby. Oh. No, don't cry." He bent down to be at eye level with my stomach. He put his hands on my belly. "Everything's gonna be okay." he whispered. If I had a dime forevery time someone told me everything was going to be alright.

...

After I stopped crying, he talked to me again. "Where's Mikey?"

"I dunno, probably at home." I sniffed.

"Why isn't he here?" he asked.

I sat up from the positon I was in, laying my head on my best friend's chest. "We had a...fight."

"A fight? You two?" He asked, surprized.

"It was my fault. He was being so understanding."

"What'd you do?"

"I told him it was all his fault. But I know it was mine. I was such a retard. I hate myself."

"Don't worry...it's gonna be okay. We can raise this baby." He said rubbing my belly.

There was a knock at the door. I wiped my tears. "Come in." I called.

Gerard stepped in, "Is everything okay. Mikey told me there were some problems..."

I looked over at Frank and nodded. I knew it was time Gerard knew. He didn't deserve to be lied to. And I didn't like hiding it from him. I just didn't kow how he was going to react.

"Gee, sit down." Frank said.

"What happened?"

"Remember that day at the lake?" I asked.

"Yeah," Gerard rememered as he looked straight into my eyes. His were piercing with curiosity.

I looked down at my stomach. He followed.

"Oh! Oh my god! Really? Are you sure?"

I nodded. "We were just at the doctors. I guess I'm pregnant."

"I'm gonna kill that kid!" Gerard yelled. He was furious.