My Brother

*Tom's POV*
When we finally got home from shopping and Oli buying four new pairs of jeans later, we both sat down on the sofa, shopping bags spread all around us. I begun to think, about Oli, of course. I think I’m going to tell him. Right now.
“Ughh, Oli?”
“Yup?”
“I, just wanted to say… uhm, thanks for today, it was fun to spend time with you, we haven’t really done that lately.” He smiled at me, and then pulled me in a hug.
“It’s cool. I know we haven’t really hung out much in the past months, have we? We need to start doing it more again and there’s no time like the present, while I’m home and not touring for a bit we’re going to make a point of going shopping or to the cinema or something every day. – Well that’s ‘til you’re sick of the sight of me.” We both laughed
Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck! How pathetic was that? Jesus Christ, Thomas Sykes, stop being such a twatting fool and just tell him.
Well it’s not that easy is it? “Oh Oli, dear brother, I’m the slightest bit in love with you.” It’s going to go down great isn’t it? I mean, why don’t we just throw a party, and go all out on it, or even better get the whole family round and tell him in front of Mum and Dad, that’ll make them really proud.
Just tell him, who knows, he might love you too; and Mum and Dad aren’t going to know.
He won’t love me, it’s not normal to be in love with your brother, especially when he’s the same gender as you too. And what if Oli goes off on one, and goes and tells Mum and Dad?
Just. Tell. Him.
Don’t even ask why I’m having an argument with my very own conscience. Maybe I could tell Oli tonight? Or would that wreck the whole night out? Plus, the very small fact that we’re going to be out with the guy Oli fancies and mine and Oli’s best friends, and chances are Oli would tell them? Seriously; why am I so fucked up? Can I not just fancy boys that aren’t my brother?”
“Tom! ‘Kin hell mate, you’ve got to stop going in to fantasy world all the time!” Oli was shouting and waving a hand in front of me.
“Sorry Ols, I was just thinking about stuff.”
“What stuff Tom? Come one, y’know you can tell me.”
“It’s just I don’t know, a boy. I really like him, and, well, I can’t tell him.”
“Aww Tom! Who’s the lucky boy then?” Oli squealed, honestly since when did I have a preppy American sister?
“No one, I don’t think you’d really know him.” Oli’s face dropped.
“I do know him don’t I? It’s one of the guys.” I shifted around uncomfortably.
“Omg, Tom, it isn’t it? Too right you can’t tell ‘him’ Tom, none of the guys are bi or gay, and it would just freak them out a bit, don’t you think? Anyway, there are loads of guys out there, it’s just finding the right one, anyway, how long have you liked him?
“Oli, I don’t just like him, I think I’m in love with him. I’ve liked him for ages, but I’ve just sort of admitted it, and I think I actually am in love with him; and he is bi. It was that last sentence that made Oli’s face drop. I instantly began to regret everything I’d said, but even more, I regretted loving my brother.
“It’s me.” I looked away and shifted uncomfortably.
“Umm. Well.”
“TOM IT IS ME ISN’T IT?” Oli began to shout at me, it was then the tears that had been welling in my eyes for the past few minutes began to slide down my cheeks. Tom started to speak again, quieter.
“You can’t, Omg, Tom, do you actually realise what love is? More so, do you realise the trouble this could get you into?”
“Yes I’m well aware of what love is, and I do know the trouble it could get me into, but it’s not like I want to be in love with you, Oli. I just can’t help it. I don’t even care about the trouble I could get into, I just want you to feel the same way.” The tears were falling from eyes thick and fast now, then Oli pulled me into a hug.
“Tom, I’m sorry for shouting, I should expect it from you shouldn’t I? You’ve never really exactly been normal. How about we both calm down a bit, let me get this into my head and we’ll talk about it tomorrow? In the meantime, we should be going and getting ready for our night out, eh?” I sniffled.
“Don’t tell Mum? Please? I don’t care if you don’t ever want to speak to me again - even if it would break my heart it’s my own fault – just don’t tell Mum?”
“Course I’m not going to tell Mum, you should know me by now that I’m not going to ever tell anyone a secret of yours; even Mam. And what’s that rubbish that I’m not going to speak to you again – what the heck am I doing right now?” I laughed and got up from my place on the sofa.
“Thanks Oli. I’m sorry.”