I'm the Kind of Human Wreckage That You Love

“My head…” I moaned in pain as I slowly drifted away from sleep and back to consciousness. My head was killing me and I felt like I had just been run over by a truck. My whole body was hurting me, even breathing was difficult now that I was awake. It felt like I was stuck under something… I slowly opened my eyes, blinking several time as they adjusted to the brightness of the room. I looked at the wall, only to figure out that it was red... Last time I checked, the walls were white in the room I was staying in…

I tried to move to rest on my back but I was stuck. That’s when I heard someone mumbling something behind me before moving a bit and then silence.

I realized that it wasn’t my room, it wasn’t my bed and I wasn’t alone. I also realized that I wasn’t stuck anymore and decided to look at my left.

I rolled on my back and nearly let out a scream.

Brian was lying there, next to me, in the same bed as me… naked.

It took all the strength left in my body to get up without waking him up and without falling because of my head. I quickly gathered my clothes, got dressed, grabbed my bag that was next to the door before leaving his room.

I hurried to my room stumbling and holding on to the walls to prevent myself from falling. Once I reached my room, the first thing I did was rushing to the toilet and throwing up… I flushed the toilet, rinsed my mouth and then brushed my teeth. I made my way towards my suitcase and grabbed some painkillers. I popped an Advil in my mouth, swallowing it with some water before I decided to take a much needed shower. I tried to make it as quick as possible before getting dressed and leaving my room. I hurried to the lift, trying to ignore the pounding on my head.

I had no idea of the time, I just knew I had to talk to Billy as soon as possible.

I spot Jimmy’s tall silhouette in the restaurant and I knew that’s where I needed to go.

With no surprise, Billy was there.

“Hey!” I mumbled as I sat at the table, the sit just in front of him. He looked paler than usual, dark circles around his eyes and his gaze was glued to his food.

“Billy” I whispered. He reluctantly lifted his gaze to meet mine. By the look on his face when he saw me, I guess I didn’t look better than he did.

“Are you alright?” he asked with concerned. I shook my head.

“I need to talk to you…” I mumbled, ready to get up.

“No, you eat first and then we’ll talk.” He said as he grabbed a toast and gave it to me. I gave him a weak smile as I forced myself to eat the toast, wishing I could talk to him right now. I needed to talk to him before Brian came down.

“Hey Gates! Sleep well?” asked Matt from the other side of the table.

My eyes widened, I starred at Billy, hoping he could save me once again, my knight in shining armor…

I heard his foot steps coming closer.

I grabbed the napkin, wiped my mouth and dropped the rest of the toast. I needed to talk to Billy… But I still had the hope that he wouldn’t remember last night… I rested my hands on my lap, crossing my fingers.

The chair next to me moved and he sat down, looking at me as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, bringing me closer to him. I reluctantly looked up and almost choked on my own saliva when he leant closer and placed a soft kiss on my lips.

The table fell silent. My heart missed several beats, my breath got stuck in my throat and I would have given my all collection of Green Day’s CD to just disappear…

Brian had a smile on his face as he pressed his lips to my hair and resting his head on top of mine. I was frozen.

Everyone at the table was watching us. Everyone.

“Oh my God!” squealed Ash as she jumped off her sit and hurried to me, pushing Brian and engulfing me in a tight hug.

“You two are so cute together!” she gushed before releasing me and hugging Brian. “How cool is that? The girls of Perfect Nightmare and the guys of Avenged Sevenfold! That’s fucking brilliant!” she said as she clapped her hands together. I exchanged a glance with Cha, it didn’t last long but everything was said. Then, I looked at Billy and I wanted nothing more than to jump over the table and wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace.

The conversation started again and Brian was joining in. It only left me and Billy. I slowly got up, squeezed Brian’s shoulder and headed out of the restaurant. I waited a few seconds before Billy rejoined me in the lobby. We sat on one of the couch, he was looking at his shoes while I was looking at my hands.

There was so many things I needed to tell him and we hadn’t much time for ourselves.

“I’m sorry Billy…” I whispered, afraid to look at him.

“There nothing to be sorry for.” He said, turning his face in my direction.

“But…”

“Listen, you’re with Brian. I understand that. It’ll be easier for me to forget you knowing that you are with someone else… Don’t blame yourself, you can’t control the way you feel, trust me on that…” he said, looking at me. I kept my gaze locked with his, my hazel eyes looking in his blue ones. I was searching for a tiny sign of sadness, but it seemed to have disappeared. Relief had taken its place.

“I’m just glad I won’t have to take my distance from you, I’d rather stay your friend than completely ignoring you ya know. You’re my best friend.” He said.

“You don’t hate me?” I asked my voice about to break as I was trying to control myself. I couldn’t burst in tears right there, could I?

“Of course not!” he said as he wrapped his arms around me in a comforting hug, I wrapped my arms around him, squeezing him tight. “You have to understand this Lyn: whatever you did or will do, I could never hate you…” he whispered in my ear. He kissed my forehead and let go of me, getting up.

“Forget everything I said last night, Lyn. If I can do it, there’s no reason you won’t be able to…” he said as he made his way back to the restaurant. I starred at him in disbelief as he walked away.

He looked almost happy?

Could he really be happy that I was with Brian when he told me he loved me the night before? Was he acting? What happened last night between Brian and me? How did I end up in his bed? Was he drunk too? Maybe it was just a one night stand?

Just as an answer to my questions, Brian made his way towards me…