I'm the Kind of Human Wreckage That You Love

“So girls, it’s nice to have you here with us. How’s tour?” said the guy, I looked at my band mates, we all looked funny with the ‘headphones’ thing on our head.

Oh god, I wanted to leave the interview already.

“Awesome, we love touring.” Replied Cha after a few seconds.

“Isn’t it a bit hard for young girls like you to be away from you family?”

Jess decided to answer, “Nah, it’s fine. We are our own family.”

“Do you sometimes think about your life if you hadn’t Perfect Nightmare?”

I liked this guy, interesting questions…
“I can totally see myself with a few kids…” said Ash. “Same.” Said the girls, me included.

“Speaking of kids, what’s going to happen to Perfect Nightmare if one of you girls decided to have children?” he asked. I saw Cha looking at me briefly before answering, I ignored her.

“We hadn’t thought about it, we live in the moment, and at the moment we’re touring. But having a family isn’t excluded.” She said, the girls nodded as I was spacing out once again.

“You seem tired Lyn, you don’t seem as enjoyed as before on stage. And rumors had been going on that you stopped singing some song, is that true and if yes, can you explain your choice to your fans?”

I swallowed the lump in my throat.
“Yeah, I’m tired but touring and sleeping in a bunk isn’t always the best way to rest, you know… And plus I’m trying to quit smoking so yeah… And as for the rumors, it is true I don’t sing as much as I used to, it’s just… I can’t sing songs that I don’t relate too anymore, and it’s the case with some of our songs I wrote in the early years of PN, when I was young and rebel…” I said with a chuckle, trying to sound relaxed when I was sitting on the edge of my sit, ready to jump off and ran out. “But Cha is a singer too, so yeah, she sings and it’s also a way to let some of our fans to sing on stage. And to my defense, try singing, playing guitar and jumping around at the same time. The only person I know who can do it is Billie Joe Armstrong.”

I crossed my fingers under the table, hoping he would drop the subject and ask some questions to the others.

“Alright girls, just a few more questions: Good Charlotte or Avenged Sevenfold?”

“Avenged Sevenfold.” They all said

“Green Day!” I said randomly. “No, seriously I’d say Good charlotte.”

“West or East?”

“West!” we all shouted.

“Chocolate or vanilla?”

“Chocolate!”

“Vanilla for me!” I said, rising my hand, it was useless, no one would see it since it was on radio.

“Family or touring?”

“Touring!” said Ash and Jess while Cha kept her eyes locked with mine. “Family.” I said.

**

I got out of the cab and rubbed my face. I just wanted to see Brian. I didn’t wait for the girls and headed straight to the A7x bus. Brian had his back turned to me, speaking with Jimmy, in the middle of the bus. I motioned to him to shut up as I slowly crept behind Brian and put my hands over his eyes, kissing his neck.

“You know, I have a girlfriend and if she ever saw you, she’s gonna kill you!” he said with a chuckle. I dropped my hands and kissed his cheek.

“Oh yeah? I’m sure I could totally kick her ass…” I said, jumping up and down and throwing punches in the air.

“Wowoah! Calm down, you’re going to hit me!” whined Jimmy as he hide behind Val. Brian shook his head at him and wrapped his arm securely around my shoulder. I smiled at him, wrapping my arms around him and resting my head against his chest. God, I missed him… I closed my eyes and let out a happy sight.

“We heard you on the radio…” said Matt randomly when the girls arrived in the bus. I felt myself being lifted off the ground and when I opened my eyes, I was sitting on Brian’s lap. I smiled to myself and vaguely listened to their conversation.

“Yeah, it was funny the question he asked you: chocolate or vanilla?” said Jimmy with a chuckle. “They never ask us that kind of question…” he added.

“Of course they don’t, they’d ask you things like: blonde or brunette.” Said Cha, “Not chocolate or vanilla…” I knew she was shaking her head.

“I’d say blue!” said Jimmy.

“That wasn’t a part of the question…” said Zacky.

“Maybe, but Ashley has blue hair.” He retorted.

“I have a question for you Lyn…” said Matt. I groaned.

“Leave her alone Shads, she had been asked questions the whole day…” said Brian, resting his head on top of mine.

“I just wanted to know why she said Good Charlotte and not Avenged Sevenfold…” he asked.

“Matt, that’s her choice! She doesn’t have to argument her choice!” said Val. I nodded against Brian’s chest.

“It was freaky what he said about family though…” said Zacky.

“What? You don’t want kids?” asked Cha. I could only imagine her glaring at Zacky and him looking back at her, stuttering to find an answer.

“Huh… Of course I want kids…” he stuttered.

Told you he would stutter…

“What he meant was, it’s freaky how you didn’t even mention your family back in California… You must miss them…” asked Val. I tightened my grip around Brian.

“Well, what’s the point in speaking about people no one cares about? I mean, I do care about my parents, of course I do. But touring is part of the job. That’s all, so you do it and don’t care about the consequences…” replied Jess.

It didn’t like the turn of the conversation…

“Speaking about home…” said Jimmy. “Ash and I are going to move in together…”

I opened my eyes, feeling my heart drop a little. Ash would no longer live with us…

“Same for me and Johnny.” Announced Jess, a grin on her face as he pecked her cheek. I instinctively turn to look at Cha who was sitting on Zacky’s lap.

“We hadn’t talk about it yet.” She said, looking at me. I gave a small nod, feeling relieved. Being back with Brian was something, but going to live with him was an other story. I had to tell him the truth first… I felt my stomach knotted. The simple thought of telling him was enough to give me a panic attack…

“Wow Lyn are you okay?”

“Huh?”

“You went pale all of a sudden, you sure you’re alright?” asked Val, looking worriedly at me.

“Yeah, I’m fine, just tired…” I said yawning.

“Do you want me to carry you to my bunk?” asked Brian. I looked at him.

“No, I can walk, it’s not that far…” I said with a small smile. I waved at everyone and hopped in Brian’s bunk. I didn’t even bother to undressed, I just slide under the covers and rested my head on the pillow, it smelt of Brian. I wrapped my arms around the pillow and pressed my face against it, my eyes closed.

“Cha, is she okay?” asked Brian, concerned.

“Yeah, she’s just exhausted… She had always needed a lot of sleep…” she replied.

“I know that, it’s just… I don’t know, it seem to get worst…” he said.

“Don’t worry man, she’s fine…” said Zacky.

“I want plenty of children…” said Jimmy out of nowhere. His declaration was followed by a loud squeal coming from Ash. I chuckled.

“And when we’ll go on tour, they will come with us!” said Johnny.

“Oh yeah, definitely! It’d be like a huge traveling circus!” agreed Jimmy.

“In about 5 years, we’ll have 5 kids.” Said Ash. I heard Jimmy couching, he must have choked on his beer.

“I want plenty of children, I told you!” she said.

“Right…”

“I want 2 kids.” said Jess.

“I want 2 kids too,” said Val and Cha agreed.

“What about you Gates?” asked Matt.

“I got plenty of time ahead of me to think about having children… If I ever want some.”