I'm the Kind of Human Wreckage That You Love

I didn’t wait for Cha to say something, I wasn’t expecting her to. What I said didn’t make any sense… Or maybe it did…
I let out an annoyed sigh and caught up with Jess and Ash.

“Here they are!” she squealed as she started waving at them, jumping up and down. I shook my head but smile nonetheless as I saw Billy leaning against the wall. Without noticing it I started walking faster. As I stand in front of them, Benji smiled at me, nodding in approval.

“Glad to know you like DCMA!” he said, winking. I smiled, nodded and went to stand next to Billy. We entered the club and we were lead to a table at the back. I sat between Benji and Billy. I hadn’t the time to take my phone out of my pocket that Ash was already up, pulling at Benji’s hand to go dance with her. I shook my head.

“I’m going to grab something to drink” I whispered as I got up. “Do you want anything?” I asked everyone sitting at the table.

“Just grabbed some beers.” Said Joel hanging me his wallet. I shook my head and patted my pocket as I turned around and made my way to the bar.

I managed to grab four beers in each hand and didn’t drop any. I handed everyone a beer and then headed back to the bar to pay and ask for a bottle of Jack Daniels and some more beers. I slide the wallet back into my pocket, grabbed the beers in one hand and the bottle of Jack Daniels in the other. The club was crowded, people were dancing everywhere. I spot Ash dancing with Benji, she grinned at me and waved. I smiled back and held my hands in the air to show her that there was no way I was going to wave back. She clapped her hands and dragged Benji back to the table. I shook my head and tried to make my way back to the table without dropping anything. I wasn’t paying much attention to where I was going and the bottle of Jack Daniels accidentally slipped from my hand. I closed my eyes, waiting for the crashing sound but it never came. I opened my eyes again to see Billy holding the bottle.

“What would I do without you?” I asked with a small smile. He smiled back, “That’s a good question.” I stucked my tongue out at him and started walking again, not waiting for him. There was a bunch of people blocking the way to the table. I growled, and waited, taping my foot on the floor. Obviously it didn’t work. I was getting annoyed, I wanted to sit down and drank shots with Billy. I waited an other few seconds before giving up. I pushed my way to the crowd of people, not even bothering to say anything. I set the drinks on the table and let myself fall on the sit. I was waiting for Billy to join me. My gaze was fixed on the beers. My hair hanging in front of my eyes, blocking my view.

I was getting annoyed. I hated dancing, I hated going to the club, I still had the remain of a very bad hangover, the music was crap and Billy was nowhere to be found. What could possibly be worst?

“Guys! How are you?” asked Joel, as he started doing the man hug thing with the guys that were blocking the way. Interesting way to ask them to move their asses…

“Oh my… Is that who I think it is?” asked Ash, hanging at Benji’s arm. He nodded. “Lyn, come over here!”

I brushed the hair out of my face and got up with one swift movement, not even knocking down the beers. Billy was standing at the other end of the table. I walked over to him, snatched the bottle of JD out of his hand, took a long swig of the bottle and wrapped my arm around his waist. Cha was standing next to Joel, a worried look on her face. I looked away and focused on the five men standing in front of us.

“Guys, you met almost everyone in Perfect Nightmare, here the singer and guitarist.” Said Benji as he pointed at me. They all turned around and smiled at me.

My body tensed, my heart started beating faster. My hands became sweaty and I dropped the bottle I was holding. Billy caught it once again and put it on the table.

“Are you okay?” he whispered. I guess he was looking at me, I couldn’t be sure… simply because I wasn’t looking at him. I was looking at them. Jimmy, Johnny, Zacky… And behind them were Matt andBrian Synyster Gates. I felt sick. I wanted to throw up. I felt trapped… I nodded shortly and then grabbed Billy’s hand. I pulled him down with me as I sat down. I scooted closer to him and grabbed the bottle of Jack Daniels.

“Hey, are you okay? You seem shaken…” asked Billy as he rubbed small circles on my back. As an answer I grabbed his hand, squeezed it tight and then got up again.

“Let’s go dance!” I said as I handed the bottle of JD to Jess and grabbed a beer instead.

“I thought you hated dancing!”
I dragged Billy with me, but instead of stopping on the dance floor, I kept walking until I reached the back door. I swung it open and took a deep breath before downing half of the beer.

“Alright, care to explain why you ran off like that?” he asked. I could tell by the sound of his voice that he was a little pissed off.

“I… I can’t stay here. Just tell the girls I head back to the bus, because I wasn’t feeling well or something? Thank you!” and I started walking. Billy was faster than I was and he stood in front of me, holding me by the shoulders.

“Do you have a problem with Avenged?” he asked, looking at me while I was interested in my shoes. “I’ll take that as a yes. I’ll let you go, I just want you to explain what your problem is...”

I kicked some rock and downed the rest of the beer before looking at him.

“A long time ago, I had a brother and a boyfriend. Everything was fine ya know, I loved my boyfriend to death… Until one day, I was supposed to go on tour with them after graduation but they left, without saying goodbye. They pretty much ignored me, not even visiting me when they were close. I got enough, went to see them because I wanted to sort some things out. It didn’t sort out like it should have. My fairytale became my worst nightmare. I left my home, went to live with the girls. I never heard about them ever again, except when Ash talked about them since they are in her favorite band…” I explained, my grip on the bottle tightening. Billy’s face softened.

“Who’s who?” he asked.

“Matt is the supposed brother, Gates is the ex boyfriend.” I muttered as I threw the empty bottle against the brick wall, it smashed to pieces and I felt better all of a sudden, knowing that my heart wasn’t the only thing that was broken, I could break things too…
“The worst thing is that it was my fault, I was the one to walk away but they didn’t even try to find me you know…” I whispered.

Billy wrapped his arms around me in a tight embrace and kissed my forehead.
“Do you want me to walk you back to the bus?”

I shook my head, “I need a drink!” I replied. He smiled, took my hand and we made our way back inside.

When we reached the table, everyone was settled down and there was a huge amount of alcohol on the table. Of course, Gates was sitting on my sit. I ran a hand through my dark hair and let out an annoyed sigh as I grabbed a beer for myself and handed one to Billy, my hand still holding his. Everyone was laughing at some jokes and they hadn’t noticed our presence, yet…

“That’s my sit.” I said as I looked at Gates. He stopped laughing, and looked at me. He opened his mouth to say something but Billy cut him off.

“Don’t move bro,” and then he grabbed a chair from an other table and sat down, pulling me down on his lap. I wanted to protest, because he was sitting on my sit, he was hanging with my friends, everyone was paying attention to him, I was invisible.

I let out an annoyed sigh and grabbed my phone, I wanted to send a text to Cha, but at the same time it was stupid… So I decided against it and started playing a game. I was focused on the small screen and I hadn’t noticed that everyone had stopped talking and that they were expecting me to answer a question I hadn’t heard. Billy pressed play on my game. I growled and looked at him. He pointed at the table and I noticed Gates looking attentively at me. I glared at him before looking back at Billy.

“What?”

“We asked you a question…” said Benji, smiling.

“Oh sorry. What was it?” I asked, faking interest. I noticed Gates was still looking at me. I clenched my fists and glared at him, after a few seconds he looked away.

“So, what do you say?”

“Huh?”

Everyone started laughing. I frowned, not amused by their reactions and looked at Billy.
“Benji asked you if you and the rest of the band could perform for Avenged Sevenfold, they might go on tour with us…” he whispered in my ear. I froze, my eyes widened, and for what seemed like the hundredth time of the day, the beer slipped from my hand and once again Billy caught it in time.

“Who do they think they are? I’m not a jukebox! I’ll play if I want to, and I don’t want to! So I won’t!” I muttered, snatching the bottle of Billy’s hand, downed it before I gave it back to him. I slammed both hands on the table and got up.

“Night Good Charlotte, Night girls.” I said as I steadied myself and started walking away.

“Lyn!” shouted Billy.

“Night random people!” I said waving at the dancing people that were surrounding me, I might as well act like I’m drunk out of my mind. I managed to cross the street without getting hit by a car. As soon as I got inside the bus, I ran to the bathroom and threw up. I flushed the toilets, washed my face and brushed my teeth before I climbed into my bunk. I hugged my pillow close to my heart and drifted off to sleep.