Love Me Like You Did Before

In that one lone second where our eyes locked, my feet dashed out of the Canal Club and down the street. And before I knew it, I was wandering down the street with red cheeks and frost-bitten finger. I really didn't know why I ran the way I did. Maybe I ran because of the feelings that shot through when his eyes met mine. It was only a glimpse, mind you, but the emotions that flooded my head were unbearable, to say the least.

I felt so shaky in my clothes. I had forgotten to grab my jacket before I ran. My attempt to create friction on my chilled arms failed miserably.

The lack of light from the above street lights were proof that I should be scared at the moment. Not to mention that the hand that grabbed mine and spun me around was nearly no help whatsoever.

I let out a small gasp. Ironically, the lights turned on just as I did, revealing that familiar tousled brown hair, deep brown chocolate eyes, a broken wrist, and a sad look with a matching frown.

"Get away from me, John." I jerked my hand back. Unlucky for me, he held on with his good wrist. The grip didn't hurt. It was just unbearable.

"Not until you tell me why you left," he said sternly. Nothing but seriousness radiated from his eyes.

My lower lips trembled. I tried to shy away from his stare, "What if I can't tell you why? What I had no reason?" I turned my glance back to him now with tearing eyes, "I really don't know." I could hear the quivering whimper in my own voice.

I felt myself trying to sound out more words for a slightest bit of an explanation. And yet I had nothing to say that would be be audible at all.

His eyes searched for the answer in me that I couldn't find myself.

I swallowed, "What were you expecting, John? For me to come right out with it and say exactly why I did I ended up doing?" I paused, yet he didn't fill in the unwanted silence.

I exhaled sharply, "What you do want me to do? Did you think that once our eyes caught each other, we'd fall in love all over again? That I-I'd fall into your arms, apologize until voice had enough and then kiss you?"

I took another deep breath, "And even after that, even after everything--" I sniffled. "What? What then? Will a crappy, love-sick melody start playing on repeat while the credits start rolling over the last frame of the scene? What then, John?" I pleaded. "What will happen after the screen goes black and we can't see anything or each other anymore?"

I let out a frustrated sigh as he continued to play the silent game. As much as it pains me, I will not be the one to stand here and continue to drown in the ignorance of my actions with pained stares from a lost love.

"Just forget it, John. Forget me. It's not worth it, trying to win me back if you aren't even going to say anything yourself." I took one last look at the man who used the title lover in my book for so long and turned my heel. "I only wish you would love me like you did before and come after me," I muttered under my breath.

This might have been my third biggest mistake in my entire lifetime. With me being the one to always say to never have regrets, three is a very big number, My first mistake was falling in love with John in the very beginning. My second mistake was leaving him to start over. My third and worst: allowing myself to fall in love with him all over again.

In my mile long train of thoughts, it was only now that I realized I turned onto the wrong street. Remind me to shoot John for clouding my thoughts so easily.

I'd never been down this street before. It was more like an alley for that matter. The freezing chill seeped into my sleeves. My heart beat grew faster each step I took. The wind whispered in my ears, sending thousand of prickling sensations up and down my spine.

The faint sound of footsteps caused me to spin around, "Who there?" I looked around the alley as the blue glow of the moonlight began to crawl over the scene.

The sound came again.

"John?" I stuttered. "Is that you?"

The lack of reply answered my question along with several unwanted ones. I'm not alone here. Some is behind me and I'd rather not find out what they intend on doing.

Before I had time to blink for a second glance, a forceful hand pushed me against the damp brick wall. My eyes started to water as the pain shot trough me. The hand struck my cheek, making me shut my eyes so tightly it almost hurt. There was no use in telling myself not to panic. I know it wouldn't do any good.

The hand shuffled up and down my torso. I struggled to free myself.

The person pinning me down dropped me abruptly. I huddled on the floor, still not wanting to open my eyes for the ear of what they would see.

A different set of arms wrapped around me. I could tell they were different. Their touch was warm, comforting. Somehow, I knew I was safe now.

I let of a soft whimper as I opened my eyes. A black cast was in front of my face. I put my hand on it, gently pushing it away. My eyes locked on those of my knight in shining armor, "John?"

The corner of his mouth lifted in the slightest, "I'm right here, Deee."

Salt water immediately began to trickle down yet again, "You came back for me?"

God knows how long I gripped onto his shirt, never wanting to let go.