Love Me Like You Did Before

I eventually became used to warm, humid Richmond, Virginia. Then again, it was no Arizona. I missed the sun and heat. The dry heat. There's a difference.

I did get a job, a stable one, too. I now work at the Canal Club, a local venue for small bands. No matter what I did, I just couldn't stay away from the music.

I never forgot about John or Kennedy. I thought about them every night. And it was quite hard the first few months seeing as they all called my cell phone a thousand times each until they realized that I wouldn't answer no matter how hard they tried. In fact, while Seraphina was out, I dreamed.

Now, this wasn't just any dream. My dream wasn't about having a bad hair day in front of Alex Gaskarth. No, I dreamed about John.

The longer I spent trying to forget about him, the more times he would visit me in my dreams. Let's just say that he visited me every night for the past month. I don't know why this month was different than the others. Maybe it was because this was the last month for their tour with All Time Low.

In every dream, I drifted away from everything. His smile would always be at the end of the trail that I'd been running through. But when his lips touched mine, I would wake up.

I never liked waking up. It was just another reminder that I was in reality. It tore me away from what I really wanted to happen.

So here I am, laying down on the vanilla brick balcony. beneath the stars. I stared into the glow of the moonlight. I found myself doing this more and more often. It helped me relax now that I needed to more than ever. The nightmares that came to me in the daylight made me feel so helpless. And I just couldn't pull out of it.

The ringing of the cars zooming by echoed in my ears. The sound of the front door opening and closing could be heard in the distance.

Seraphina's voice called my name from downstairs.

I sat up slowly to avoid a case of vertigo. I walked downstairs, looking down at my feet as I did.

She pulled on her sweater, "There you are."

"Here I am," I sighed.

She walked over to me, "What's wrong?"

I shrugged, "It's nothing." I walked over to the coffee pot that was still half full.

She sat down at the bar, "You say that constantly even though I know you're lying."

I rolled my eyes as I poured myself a mug, "I've just been thinking."

"Of what?" Her voice squeaked.

I shrugged again, "Of anything really."

She sighed.

I moved next to her, "Alright, explain the date in detail."

She smiled, "You know me all too well."

I chuckled, "Well? Go on. Explain."

She took a deep breath, "So, I arrived at the restaurant, my hair was flawless. Nothing was out of place. I smelled like rain kissed leaves, then when I get there..."

I sat on the edge of my seat, "What?"

"He's arguing with his friends!" She slapped her thigh.

"Why would he do that?"

"I don't know!" She began to pace. "It's like, 'I'm right here! Hello!' And nothing! They didn't even acknowledge me until I cleared my throat! They just kept on screaming 'Get over her! She's not coming back!'"

"So what happened over dinner?" I asked hurriedly.

She calmed down, "We ate dinner, and yet again nothing. He didn't talk! And I even did that, you know, the hair flip that, like, spreads the scent of my perfume and everything...?"

"Yeah, what'd he do?"

"Nothing! Absolutely nothing! Is there something wrong with me? I-I mean, I know I can be shallow at times, and I mess with my hair a lot, but am I really that bad?"

I shook my head and pulled her into a hug, "Of course not, honey."

She sighed, "You want to know the ironic part?" She said as she pulled away.

"What?"

She laughed once, "His name was John."

I laughed nervously, "Oh, yeah. Ironic."

"Yeah, but he can't be the same," she shrugged.

"Why not?"

"I highly doubt you'd go out with some guy like that, that John O'Callaghan." She walked to her room.

My eyes grew wide, "John O'Callaghan?" The sweat gathered on my forehead.

"Yeah," she entered the room again with her hair in a bun and dressed in swear slacks. "Why? You know him?"

"No," I said a little too quickly. "It's just a-a weird last name 'is all."

She sighed as she sat down on the couch, "It was too bad. He was kind of cute, well, minus the suicidal look and everything."

"Suicidal?"

"Yup, he seemed suicidal beyond belief. Man, whoever that girl, Deee, was... She got him good."

"I'm going to go for a walk," I said abruptly.

"What? Now? It's like ten at night," she snickered.

"I know." I grabbed my jacket. "I just need to think."

"Too much thinking is bad for your brain, you know!" She yelled as I closed the door.