Love Me Like You Did Before

Tina and I sat on the roof of Seraphina's and my apartment. Our feet swung over the edge of the building, swaying to a common beat. We both looked up to the sky. That stars twinkled with delight in our envy to shine. I sighed.

"Nothing has been going right after I left, has it?" I said this as more of a statement than a question. I waited for a sign that said she would try to prove me wrong. I wanted her to say that they were happy but still missed me. I know I would never hear that, though.

She ran her fingers through her long hair, "Kennedy doesn't smile as much when they perform." She paused then looked at me. "You of all people should know that that is something to worry about."

This was true. When they performed, Kennedy smiled constantly. That was one of the many things I missed dearly after I got on that plane. His smile helped me get through the day. It was more of an influential gesture than a broadly used sign of emotion.

She tapped her fingers on the cool concrete, "Garrett's cell phone is off for a majority of the time. Well, aside from when he needs to call his girlfriend. But, be that as it may, he and Rachael have been arguing lately."

Another unusual, depressing sign of change. Garrett couldn't live without his cellphone. Everyone knew that. The look on his face, the happiness that radiated off his skin when he and Rachael giggled to each other through calls before every show was a usual feeling for the entire band.

"Jared's IPod has been retired. Pat willingly drives. And John--Well, you know."

I sighed, "It's been difficult here, too, you know."

She shrugged, "I didn't expect anything less of difficult. Or complicated."

I sat back, laying my hair down on the floor, "I finally got a job. It's stable. The pay is bearable."

"And the downside?"

"John isn't waiting for me when I get home. My best friend isn't on the other end of my cellphone. Need I say more?"

"No, not really.

"Good. Then you grasp my point."

"Very much so."

"So, why did John go on a date with Seraphina?"

She laughed once, "Garrett got the bright idea that if John was happy again, we'd all be happy. You know, like the Domino Effect."

I rolled my eyes, "Leave it to Garrett to come up with that."

"I knew it didn't work. Naturally." She smirked. "We all knew especially when we saw her."

"Too unbearable for your eyes?" I snickered.

She laughed, "No. She was no you. More like a... a prissier, high class version of you."

"High class?" I raised my eyebrow.

She chuckled, "No offense, of course."

"Nice save."

She smiled, "Any-hooz. Do you have any intentions on talking to John at all?"

I sighed, "Maybe. Maybe not."

"I need a straight answer, Deee."

"What if I don't have one?"

She took a long hard look at me, "Then I have nothing else to ask about aside from your eye color. I only noticed it now."

I chuckled, "Took you long enough. I changed it after I came here."

"Why?"

"New experience, I suppose."

"Did it make a difference?"

"Well, you can change the color, but you can never really change the memories beneath them." I paused to look at the moon. "I thought about him every night since I moved here. I began to think that moving here was a mistake after the second night."

"What did you expect? Just forget about everything and move on?"

"It sounded a lot easier when I thought about it the first time."

"Everything sounds easier than done."

"Now you tell me."

She snickered, "We all miss you, Deee. That you should know."

"I missed you guys, too. Things just seem so screwed up. I don't think I could go back."

"Well, what's the difference between running away then forgetting and staying then forgetting?"

"Nothing really."

"Exactly."