Socially Awkward

3 months ago, I was raped. By one of my brother's friends, actually. He introduced me to him, and left us alone so we could 'talk.' And there I was, barely even a teenager, and here was a 16-year-old guy on top of me, ripping off my pants.

I don't like meeting new people.

Tomorrow is my first day of high school.

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My mom was in the kitchen, fixing soup. She probably thought the 'healing power of chicken noodle' would somehow make me a virgin again. I sniffed at the scent of it and I knew THAT soup sure wouldn't do me any good. Except maybe make me sick enough to dodge first period.

"Kit, it's time to eat!" my mom called.

So it was me and her at the table. My brother, James, had since moved out. Who knows where my father was. Who WANTED to know where my father was.

She looked at me. My young, artist mom, was looking at me with these genuinely maternal brown eyes, trying to bring herself to voice the thoughts dancing behind them. I couldn't take it.

"Say it, mom," I told her. I probably could have managed to sound a bit sweeter or softer, and I regretted snapping at her. I knew she wasn't handling my 'situation' well. I don't know how she was supposed to handle it, exactly, but the obvious pain it caused her made me uncomfortable.

She sighed, closing her eyes, before quietly saying, "Tomorrow...Tomorrow is going to be...horrible."

I knew exactly what she WANTED to say. She was attempting some sort of comfort, but didn't know how to put it into words. My mother was never at a loss for words. This just SHOULDN'T be happening.

"Yeah, it probably will be. He's going to be there," I whispered.

That was the end of this conversation. A few minutes later, I ended up pouring my soup into the sink. I did the dishes, and wound up back in my room.

In the last 3 months, I hadn't spoken to any of my friends. Unless their socialite parents told them, they didn't know I'd been raped. The worst of it would be their insane crushing on Grey, the cause of this mess. And how was I to just come out and say, "Um, yeah, he pinned me to the couch and forced me into sex. It hurt like fuck. It'd be in your best interest to shut the fuck up and stop obsessing over a felon who somehow didn't even get arrested."

That wouldn't happen. I would be lucky to even get my name right.