I Meant What I Said
Just Listen
Bree drove right home. She didn't stop at Dunkin' Donuts to get her afternoon smoothie. She didn't even stop by anyone's house. She drove up her driveway and hit the button to open her garage. She pulled in and parked the car and got out. Walking into the house, she realized that no one was home. It was 2:30. She checked around the kitchen for a note. She found one on the fridge.
It said, “Working late tonight. Ziti bake is in the fridge, just preheat the oven to 350 and put it in for 30 minutes. Please pick the twins up from soccer at 6. Love you.”
She left the note on her fridge and walked upstairs. She went into her bedroom and pulled off her shoes and her hoodie. She took off her shirt and socks. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her makeup had run down her cheeks. Great.
Bree walked out of her room and into the bathroom. She turned the handle on the shower and water poured out. She pulled out her headband and took off her pants and shirt. She slipped out of everything else and stepped into the shower. The hot water felt refreshing over her head.
She washed her hair and her body and just stood under the water. She was still in disbelief about everything that happened. Why couldn't it just go back to when everything made sense? A time when she was happy.
Noticing the red marks on her skin from the water, she decided to turn it off. She stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in her towel. She sat on the side of the tub for a moment.
Finally, she walked out of the bathroom and into her room. She rummaged through her drawers and found a long-sleeved PINK (by Victoria Secret) Henley shirt and a pair of Sara's gray sweats. She picked a pair of underwear, a bra, and a white tank top. She put everything on and looked at herself in the mirror. She put her hair into a pony-tail and flipped her bangs into a poof at the top of her head.
It was only 3:00 at this time. What was she going to do for the rest of the afternoon? She didn't want to sit at home and feel sorry for herself. She walked back downstairs and grabbed a bottle of water.
She had an idea. She grabbed a pair of clogs that were sitting by the door and slipped them onto her feet. She grabbed her bag and her keys and walked out the door. She sat in her car for a minute. [i\This isn't a good idea, she thought to herself. She put her iPod into the dock and pressed play on one of the play lists Sara had made. “About a Girl” by The Academy Is... played through her radio. She was comforted by William Beckett's voice. I have to do this, she thought.
She put her car into gear, hit the button to open her garage, and backed out of her driveway. She drove around for a while to get up the nerve to say what she needed to say. She drove by Sara's house and no one was home. It was the same for Callie's and Lucie's. She drove by Alex's house and all the lights were on. She couldn't face him. Not right now. She turned her car around and headed to Crestview, the next town over.
Her heart was in her throat. She was holding back tears. She was scared to death. It only took her ten minutes to get to his house. She pulled into the driveway that had RYAN on the mailbox. She sat in her car for a minute, gathering the courage. Jamison Ryan. The boy her broke her heart.
She got out of her car. She hadn't realized it was as cold out as it was. She crossed her arms to keep herself a little warm. She walked up the long walkway up to his front door. She stood at his door, waiting. Finally, she knocked.
It didn't take him long to answer. He opened the door and his face showed his surprise. “Bree, what are you doing here?”
“It seems like you've been doing all the talking lately. I just wanted to get my thoughts in.”
“Oh. Okay. Come in. It's cold out here.” Jamie led her into his modest house. He lived with his aunt and uncle, who were both older. “Here, come into my room.” He led her down the small hallway and into his room. Bree knew his room quite well. They had spent many nights together in his room.
He sat down on his bed and she sat on the chair next to his desk. She looked around his room. He still had the pictures of them that she had hung up around the room. He still had the teddy bear from Valentine's day that she had given him. Her heart ached.
“Bree, I'm so glad you came. After yesterday, I didn't think that you would ever talk to me again. And I can't lose you. You're everything to me.”
“Stop. Save yourself the breath.” She wasn't going to interrupt what she was going to say. “I need to talk to you.”
“Okay.”
“No, just listen. Don't interrupt me. Please.”
“Okay, Bree. Go ahead.”
“Jamie. What you did today was terrible. You can't just do that.” She looked at him. He looked hurt. “You broke up with me, Jamie. You're the one that ended this. I was so in love with you. And out of no where, you ended it. I am trying to get over you. I'm trying to hard. Every day gets a little easier, but sometimes, I really just want to go running up to you and hold you.”
“Bree.”
“No, Jamie. Not yet. I know that I should be over you. I know that. Everyone's told me. But I can't. And seeing you for the past three months and realizing you just don't care anymore is what hurt me the most. And that's why I'm so confused about this. That's why I just don't understand why you think you can come back into my life, kiss me, and tell me you want me back.”
“Bree. I said I was sorry. I'm so sorry.”
“Jamie. Really just stop. I can't fall into this again. You. I can't do that to myself. I'm tired of crying over you. I'm tired of waiting for you to text or call and I'm tired of feeling miserable when you don't. I can't tell you how many times I've written you messages on my phone and then couldn't send them because I knew that nothing changed. You didn't care. For three months. And I'm tired of waiting for you.”
“Wow, Bree. Uh, I don't know what to say.” Bree felt a weight lifted off her shoulders. She had been holding all of that in for months, waiting for the right moment to say it to him. “I'm sorry. I just, I figured that if we broke up, there'd always be a next time. That there was always going to be a chance for us to get back together. But when I saw you with Alex, I knew that chance was gone, and I couldn't bear to think about losing you.”
Bree felt tears coming to her eyes. This was the Jamie she fell in love with. This was the Jamie she could spend hours talking to about her hopes and dreams and the people in her life. “Jamie.”
“Bree, just hear me out. I don't ever want to lose you. This has been the hardest three months I've ever had to live through. I love you, Bree. More than anything. You're my other half. You kept me motivated and you gave me a reason to come to school everyday. You're the one I want to be with.”
“Jamie, it's not our time. We had our time. It didn't work. You can't just change your mind.”
“Why not, Bree? Why not? If we are meant to be together, it could work. I love you, Bree. I know you feel the same way.” Jamie stood up and walked towards Bree. He cupped her cheeks in his hands. “I love you.”
Bree felt her eyes fill with tears. “Jamie, I love you, too. More than anything. It just can't happen again.” Bree stood up and looked at Jamie. “I never stopped loving you. You're almost impossible to get over. I want to be with you more than you can imagine, but it can't happen.”
Jamie had tears in his eyes. “Bree, please.” He wrapped her in his arms. “I'm so sorry. For everything.”
“Me too.” She pulled out of his embrace and looked him in the eyes. He looked like a little kid. His face was red and his eyes had tears in them. “I'll always love you, Jamie. Always.” She kissed his cheek and walked out of his room. She never looked back.
It said, “Working late tonight. Ziti bake is in the fridge, just preheat the oven to 350 and put it in for 30 minutes. Please pick the twins up from soccer at 6. Love you.”
She left the note on her fridge and walked upstairs. She went into her bedroom and pulled off her shoes and her hoodie. She took off her shirt and socks. She looked at herself in the mirror. Her makeup had run down her cheeks. Great.
Bree walked out of her room and into the bathroom. She turned the handle on the shower and water poured out. She pulled out her headband and took off her pants and shirt. She slipped out of everything else and stepped into the shower. The hot water felt refreshing over her head.
She washed her hair and her body and just stood under the water. She was still in disbelief about everything that happened. Why couldn't it just go back to when everything made sense? A time when she was happy.
Noticing the red marks on her skin from the water, she decided to turn it off. She stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in her towel. She sat on the side of the tub for a moment.
Finally, she walked out of the bathroom and into her room. She rummaged through her drawers and found a long-sleeved PINK (by Victoria Secret) Henley shirt and a pair of Sara's gray sweats. She picked a pair of underwear, a bra, and a white tank top. She put everything on and looked at herself in the mirror. She put her hair into a pony-tail and flipped her bangs into a poof at the top of her head.
It was only 3:00 at this time. What was she going to do for the rest of the afternoon? She didn't want to sit at home and feel sorry for herself. She walked back downstairs and grabbed a bottle of water.
She had an idea. She grabbed a pair of clogs that were sitting by the door and slipped them onto her feet. She grabbed her bag and her keys and walked out the door. She sat in her car for a minute. [i\This isn't a good idea, she thought to herself. She put her iPod into the dock and pressed play on one of the play lists Sara had made. “About a Girl” by The Academy Is... played through her radio. She was comforted by William Beckett's voice. I have to do this, she thought.
She put her car into gear, hit the button to open her garage, and backed out of her driveway. She drove around for a while to get up the nerve to say what she needed to say. She drove by Sara's house and no one was home. It was the same for Callie's and Lucie's. She drove by Alex's house and all the lights were on. She couldn't face him. Not right now. She turned her car around and headed to Crestview, the next town over.
Her heart was in her throat. She was holding back tears. She was scared to death. It only took her ten minutes to get to his house. She pulled into the driveway that had RYAN on the mailbox. She sat in her car for a minute, gathering the courage. Jamison Ryan. The boy her broke her heart.
She got out of her car. She hadn't realized it was as cold out as it was. She crossed her arms to keep herself a little warm. She walked up the long walkway up to his front door. She stood at his door, waiting. Finally, she knocked.
It didn't take him long to answer. He opened the door and his face showed his surprise. “Bree, what are you doing here?”
“It seems like you've been doing all the talking lately. I just wanted to get my thoughts in.”
“Oh. Okay. Come in. It's cold out here.” Jamie led her into his modest house. He lived with his aunt and uncle, who were both older. “Here, come into my room.” He led her down the small hallway and into his room. Bree knew his room quite well. They had spent many nights together in his room.
He sat down on his bed and she sat on the chair next to his desk. She looked around his room. He still had the pictures of them that she had hung up around the room. He still had the teddy bear from Valentine's day that she had given him. Her heart ached.
“Bree, I'm so glad you came. After yesterday, I didn't think that you would ever talk to me again. And I can't lose you. You're everything to me.”
“Stop. Save yourself the breath.” She wasn't going to interrupt what she was going to say. “I need to talk to you.”
“Okay.”
“No, just listen. Don't interrupt me. Please.”
“Okay, Bree. Go ahead.”
“Jamie. What you did today was terrible. You can't just do that.” She looked at him. He looked hurt. “You broke up with me, Jamie. You're the one that ended this. I was so in love with you. And out of no where, you ended it. I am trying to get over you. I'm trying to hard. Every day gets a little easier, but sometimes, I really just want to go running up to you and hold you.”
“Bree.”
“No, Jamie. Not yet. I know that I should be over you. I know that. Everyone's told me. But I can't. And seeing you for the past three months and realizing you just don't care anymore is what hurt me the most. And that's why I'm so confused about this. That's why I just don't understand why you think you can come back into my life, kiss me, and tell me you want me back.”
“Bree. I said I was sorry. I'm so sorry.”
“Jamie. Really just stop. I can't fall into this again. You. I can't do that to myself. I'm tired of crying over you. I'm tired of waiting for you to text or call and I'm tired of feeling miserable when you don't. I can't tell you how many times I've written you messages on my phone and then couldn't send them because I knew that nothing changed. You didn't care. For three months. And I'm tired of waiting for you.”
“Wow, Bree. Uh, I don't know what to say.” Bree felt a weight lifted off her shoulders. She had been holding all of that in for months, waiting for the right moment to say it to him. “I'm sorry. I just, I figured that if we broke up, there'd always be a next time. That there was always going to be a chance for us to get back together. But when I saw you with Alex, I knew that chance was gone, and I couldn't bear to think about losing you.”
Bree felt tears coming to her eyes. This was the Jamie she fell in love with. This was the Jamie she could spend hours talking to about her hopes and dreams and the people in her life. “Jamie.”
“Bree, just hear me out. I don't ever want to lose you. This has been the hardest three months I've ever had to live through. I love you, Bree. More than anything. You're my other half. You kept me motivated and you gave me a reason to come to school everyday. You're the one I want to be with.”
“Jamie, it's not our time. We had our time. It didn't work. You can't just change your mind.”
“Why not, Bree? Why not? If we are meant to be together, it could work. I love you, Bree. I know you feel the same way.” Jamie stood up and walked towards Bree. He cupped her cheeks in his hands. “I love you.”
Bree felt her eyes fill with tears. “Jamie, I love you, too. More than anything. It just can't happen again.” Bree stood up and looked at Jamie. “I never stopped loving you. You're almost impossible to get over. I want to be with you more than you can imagine, but it can't happen.”
Jamie had tears in his eyes. “Bree, please.” He wrapped her in his arms. “I'm so sorry. For everything.”
“Me too.” She pulled out of his embrace and looked him in the eyes. He looked like a little kid. His face was red and his eyes had tears in them. “I'll always love you, Jamie. Always.” She kissed his cheek and walked out of his room. She never looked back.