Long Rides

Twelve days before Christmas. Oh yeah. Call me weird, but I wasn’t excited for it. I wish I still believed that Santa Clause is real, so I can be excited for Christmas.

You know why I wasn’t excited for it? Because Christmas, was when my nightmares had started. It happened 4 Christmases ago, and continued until the next Christmas. The nightmare was really terrible that I didn’t even want to remember it, or thinking about the person who was involved in it.

I bought everyone’s presents in 2 days and for Caleb too. I didn’t know what else to give as his present – and it was certainly not my ‘love’ – so I bought a guitar pick instead. I bought Alex a plaid buttoned shirt and I hope he would like it.

I didn’t believe I’ve wrapped all of the presents and hid them under the back seat of our van. I really didn’t believe the presents would fit down there.

“Aaathe!” Kent sang, skipping towards me and sat next to me once he reached me. “What do you want for Christmas?”

“A really expensive pair of Bvlgari earrings,” I randomly blurted and his eyes bulged wide. “Nah, I’m not into that kind of stuff.” And he sighed in relief.

“So what do you want?” he asked.

I shrugged. “Anything, really.”

“Come oon,” he whined, tugging my arm and stuck out his lower lip. He really looked like a five year old right now.

“I don’t know what I want!”

“A camera?”

I scoffed. “Funny, but no.”

“Why not?”

“One, I already have one. And two, it’s too expensive! I don’t want expensive-or-fancy gifts!”

He groaned. “What should I give you, then?”

“I don’t know.”

“You’re no fun. Aren’t you excited for Christmas?” I shook my head. “Good god, why not?!”

“Same reason why I don’t want to date.”

“That doesn’t make sense – I mean you’re not ready for a relationship and it’s also a reason for not excited for Christmas?”

I smacked the back of his head. I wished he knew why, but at the same time, I didn’t want him to know.

* * *

“Why are we pulling over here?” I asked, looking outside the window. We were pulling over at a… beach?

“I don’t know. They want us to do so,” Vincent that who was driving answered.

I heard Verion giggled from the back seat. Vincent, Arne and I turned around and Kyle was whispering things to Verion’s ear and she giggled. Their fingers were laced together. Their gooeyness made me gag. I know they had been dating for a week now, but they were too gooey!

“Let’s get out; I’m sick of those lovers back there,” Arne said before getting out of the van.

Vincent and I agreed and we got out the car. I immediately shivered when the cold air attacked my body. Glad my personal heater was already out of his bus, so he walked to me and wrapped his arm around me to make me warm.

“Thanks,” I smiled and he smiled back. “Is it okay to make you my personal heater? I’ve been thinking that you’re my personal heater ever since the first time you put your arm around my shoulder.”

He laughed. “I don’t mind. You can always call me whenever you’re cold, okay?”

“Aww thanks, that’s so sweet of you. By the way, care to explain why we’re here?”

“Because we’re forever the sickest kids!” Austin exclaimed as he took a handful of snow and threw it to Kent, but it hit Rian instead.

“You’ve got a point,” I muttered.

A few moments later, Caleb’s phone rang. He took it from his pocket. His expression changed when he read the caller ID.

“I gotta take this,” he murmured and went away from us as he took the call.

I stared at him as he talked on phone. His emotions changed. It seemed like he wasn’t happy with the phone call. He was yelling, but I couldn’t get a hint of what he was talking about.

He then flipped his phone closed and he massaged his temple with his fingers. Worried, I walked over him.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing.”

“Come on, I know there’s something wrong.”

“Nothing, okay!”

He snapped at me. He actually snapped at me.

I was shocked by that. I never thought he would snap at me.

“…You don’t need to snap,” I muttered as I felt tears were forming in my eyes.

“Athe—“

But it was too late. I turned around and ran to his bus. I didn’t know why I ran there. The others had stopped playing snowball fight when Caleb had snapped.

I opened the bus’ door. Inside, there were Alex, Marc and Zack.

“Athe what’s wrong?” Alex asked softly, walking to me when he noticed I was there.

“N-Nothing.” I sobbed.

“If there’s nothing wrong why are you crying?” he asked again even softer this time and he reached out to wipe away the tear that had streamed down my cheek.

“I’m okay, Alex,” I sobbed.

“No you’re not,” he demanded and pulled me into a comfortable hug.